~Car Conversations~

While out running errands today...

Eamon:  "Well, after driving by some car places, I've finally decided what kind of car I'm going to get."

<The make of car that Eamon should get when he's an adult has been on his mind for quite some time & has been the subject of previous blog posts>

Me:  "Ok, so what have you decided on?"

Eamon:  "Well, it's not a Dodge Ram.  I'm going to get a... Jaguar!"

Me:  "Oh, really?  Well, start saving now!"

Eamon:  "Don't worry, I'm going to get a small one, not a big one, so it will be less expensive." 

Me:  "Um, that's good thinking, I guess?"

Eamon:  "Yeah, I saw a sign that said they cost $9,000 but I'm going to get a smaller one so it doesn't cost that much." 

Me:  "Um, I doubt there are any Jaguars that cost as little as $9,000."

Eamon:  "Really?  Well, maybe I'll get a Jaguar motorcycle.  That probably won't cost as much."

Me:  "You know the rule about motorcycles."

Eamon:  <sigh>  "Yeah, I know, I'm not allowed to have a motorcycle until you're dead."

Me:  "That's right!"

I'm so glad he remembers the motorcycle rule! ;)

~Duck Conversations~

While in the car on the way to Christmas Eve celebrations with the family...

Eamon:  "Guess what I want for Christmas!?"

Me:  <under my breath>  "Umm, hopefully something that we've already bought...?"

Eamon:  "A duck horn!"

Me:  "A duck horn?  You mean something that makes duck noises like a duck call?"

Eamon:  "Yeah!"

Mark:  "Dude, you can't spring that kind of stuff on us the day before Christmas.  Santa's already loaded everything in his sleigh and doesn't do last minute orders." 

Me:  "Hey, maybe you can save up some money and buy one for yourself later.  So why do you want a duck call anyway?"

Eamon: <seriously>  "So I can talk to ducks."


I love his logic! ;)

~Mistletoe Conversations~

After hearing something Christmasy on the radio about mistletoe...

Eamon:  "I've never used mistletoe."

Me:  "Well, I would think not.  You know what it's for, right?"

Eamon:  "Yes, but I'm not going to say."

Me:  "People stand under it as an excuse to kiss each other."

Eamon:  "I know.  That's why I'm staying away from it."

Me:  <teasing> "You don't want to kiss a girl?"

Eamon:  "I already have to kiss you.  That's enough."

I can't wait to see what his feelings are on this subject in about 10 years... ;)

~Bathroom Conversations~

After waking up "damp" yesterday morning, I was trying to inspire Eamon to go to the bathroom BEFORE bedtime tonight...

Me: <standing outside of the closed bathroom door>  "Imagine a dry desert... And then as the rains fall, a dry stream bed becomes a river.  And the river grows until it becomes a flash flood!  A gushing torrent!  A torrential downpour of liquid!"

Eamon:  "That's not helping, mommy. <passes gas>  But it is helping me do that!"

Me: "That's not funny.   Try harder.  You need to go to the bathroom before bedtime."

Eamon:  <giggling while passing more gas> "And it's helping me do that! And that!"

Me:  "That's disgusting.  I give up.  Just don't have an accident." 

~Pants Conversations~

After Eamon had been playing computer games for way too long this morning...

Me:  "It's time to get off the computer and get dressed."

Eamon:  "But I just need to defeat this level..."

Me:  "GO!"

Eamon:  <sulking & petulant> "Fine."

Several minutes later...

Eamon:  <still a little sulky> "Ok, mommy, I'm ready."

Me:  <turning around and getting a suprise>  "Where are your pants?!"

Eamon:  "I couldn't find any so this is what I'm wearing today."

Me:  "Ok, that's fine.  I'm sure the movie theatre won't care that you're only wearing underwear and a shirt."

~Library Conversations~

While driving home after a trip to the public library...

Eamon:  "I can't believe I got my first library card!  This is so COOL!!!"

Me:  <under my breath> "If I'd known how happy this would make you, we could have done this a lot sooner..."

Eamon:  "I can't wait to tell everyone about my library card!"

Me:  "Do you want to call Meema or Erica to tell one of them?"

Eamon:  "I want to call Meema AND Erica!  And I'm going to use it at my school library too!"

Me:  "Sweetie, it's not going to work there, only at the public libray."

Eamon:  "I want to try it anyway."

Me:  *sigh*  "Ok... Hey, sometimes school librarians have prizes or contests for students who get public library cards so maybe Ms. Ryan will do something like that at your school."

Eamon:  "Maybe... Mommy, I'm glad you're a librarian."

Me:  <feeling smug and pleased>  "Really?  Why do you say that?"

Eamon:  "Because you don't have to teach anyone anything."

Me:  <no longer smug and pleased> "Um, actually I do teach people things!  Research skills, how to find books, using the computer, stuff like that!"

Eamon:  "But it's cool that you don't have to teach them anything important."

Me:  *sigh*  "Right..."


I may have already failed as a librarian if I can't even teach my kid that I do teach important things to people... ;)

~Forgotten Lunch Conversations~

After arriving home from our recent trip...

Me:  "Hey, you have leftover pizza so I think we'll just heat that up for you when we get back from the store, ok?"

Eamon:  "Yeah, I can have that for lunch."

Me:  "Lunch?  You mean dinner?"

Eamon:  "No, I want to eat it for lunch."

Me:  "Dude, lunch is long over.  It's 5pm now so we're talking about dinner."

Eamon:  "What!?  I missed lunch!?  How come you didn't give me any lunch!?"

Me:  "Eamon, you ate lunch.  That's what the leftover pizza is from, remember?!" 

Eamon:  "Oh, yeah..."


As if he would ever let us forget to feed him... ;)

~How-Not-To-Pack Conversations~

Hours after Eamon had "helped" pack his own clothes for an upcoming trip...

Me:  <moving a very large toy out of the way while straightening the TV room> "Hey, this giraffe toy is really heavy.  Why is it so heavy?  <looks inside>  Eamon, are those your clothes that you 'packed' for Kentucky?!"

Eamon:  "Yeah."

Me:  "Why would you put all your clothes inside your giraffe toy? They could have gotten left behind!"

Eamon:  "Well, I had to put them somewhere." 

~Not-so-sick Conversations~

As most of you know, just because a child isn't well enough to go to school, doesn't mean they're not well enough to make "mischief of one kind and another..."

Me:  "Eamon!  What ARE you doing?!"

Eamon:  "Walking a tight rope."

Me:  "That is not a tight rope, it is the arm of the couch!  Get down from there!"

Eamon:  "Well, it looks like a tight rope to me..."

~Croupy Conversations~

As a follow-up to the previous post, yesterday's light cough turned into a nasty case of croup around 2am this morning.  But despite being up and inconsolable from 2 am - 3am, Eamon bounced out of bed at 7am!

Eamon:  <w/ a voice like gravel>  "G'morning."

Mark:  "Good morning!  Ready for school?"

Eamon:  <raspy voice>  "Sure, I'm fine."

Me:  "Actually, sweetie, you're going to be staying home today."

Eamon:  <gravelly voice>  "Yay! <gasp, cough!> It's like having a <COUGH, GASP!> mini holiday!"

I don't know if I should be proud or alarmed that my son has picked up the family sentiment of treating sick days like holidays! (;

~Feverish Conversations~

While getting ready for school today...

Me:  <sneaking up on Eamon as he comes out of the bathroom> "Rah!"

Eamon:  <immediately springing into ninja attack stance>  "Hyah! Got you, mommy!"

Eamon suddenly remembering something important...

Eamon:  <cough, cough>  "Mommy, I think I'm sick."

Me:  "Really?  You coughed twice. I think you'll be fine."

Eamon:  "But I think I have a fever.  Can you take my temperature?"

Me:  *sigh*  "Ok, I'll take your temperature to see if you're sick.  But the thermometer is upstairs so... RACE YOU TO IT!!"

Eamon:  "YOU'RE ON!"  <races upstairs at top speed>

Me:  "Yeah, dude, I'm pretty sure you're not sick...."

Eamon:  "But can you still take my temperature?" 


I'm so thankful he hasn't yet made it to the Ferris Bueller level of playing sick! ;)

~Chihuahua Conversations~

While driving home today...

Eamon:  "When I grow up, I'm going to have lots of those little dogs, you know, chihuahuas."

Mark:  "As long as they're at your house and not mine."

Eamon:  "Yeah, my house is going to be full of them.  I'm even going to have a chihuahua truck and it's going to be shaped like a chihuahua.  And there's going to be a magic portal in my house to take people to the land of chihuahuas!" 

Me:  "Wow, that's a lot of chihuahuas.  What are you going to name all of them?"

Eamon:  "Umm, let me think... Actually, I think I'm just going to have one.  I have to think about the name though."

Me: "El taco gigante!"

Mark:  "Skee-bo! Chimichanga! Chalupa! Margarita!"

Eamon:  "Stop it!  I want to think of a name by myself!"

Me:  "Yeah, let him have some time to think, Mark."

Eamon:  <thinking and thinking>  "Um, ok, what names were you saying, daddy?"

Mark:  "Burrito! El Guapo!"

Eamon:  "Waffle!  I'm going to name my chihuahua, Waffle!"

~Tea Time Conversations~

While attempting to make Thai iced tea...

Eamon:  "Mommy, what are you making?"

Me:  "It's supposed to be Thai iced tea."

Eamon:  "What's that white stuff you're putting in the tea?"

Me:  "Sweetened condensed milk."

Eamon:  "Oh, is it just for grownups?"

Me:  "No..."

Eamon:  "So it's ok for kids to have to?"

Mark:  "I think he's angling for some of your tea."

Eamon:  <looking up at me sweetly> "Can I?"

~Necessary Conversations~

While tucking Eamon in for the night...

Eamon:  "Come on, mommy.  Try to get me!"

Me:  <fixing the sheet and blankets>  "I'm not going to get you.  I'm trying to straighten all the bedding."

Eamon:  "Come on! Com... AUUGHHH!!!!!!"

Me:  <pinning him w/ the sheets to tickle attack him> "GOT YOU!!!!"

Eamon:  "Was that really necessary!?"

Me:  "Yes, of course that was necessary."

Eamon:  "What does 'necessary' even mean?"

Me:  "You're the one who used it!"

Eamon:  "But I still don't know what it means."


I love it that my kid knows when to use a big word, even if he's not sure yet what it means. ;)  (And, yes, I defined 'necessary' for him!)

~Pedestrian Conversations~

While crossing the street at a local outdoor shopping center...

Eamon:  <running> "Hurry!  HURRY!"

Me:  "No worries.  We made it safe and sound [with a block's distance to spare]."

Eamon:  "Apparently, some people don't know driving laws!"

Me:   "Really?  What driving laws are you talking about?" 

Eamon:  "The ones about cars stopping when people are crossing the street."

Me:  "Even if the cars are a block away from the people crossing the street?  They're still supposed to stop?"

Eamon:  "Yes.  But apparently not everyone knows that."


Yes, he was really using the word "apparently," which cracked me up!  ;)

~Right Again Conversations~

While discussing the time...

Eamon:  "Argh!  It IS 4:45!"

Me:  "I told you."

Eamon:  *sigh*  "You're right again.  That makes a million times you've been right." 

Me:  <modestly>  "Well, I don't know if it's a million times that I've been right...  Well, yeah, I am right most of the time."  ;)

Eamon:  *sigh*  "And I've only been right ten times."   

~Brainy Conversations~

While discussing some puzzles with a lot of pieces...

Eamon:  "Let's see... 500 pieces minus 200 pieces is... 300!"

Me:  "That's right!  Very good."

Eamon:  "Man, I am SO smart!  My brain just keeps getting bigger and bigger!"

Me:  "Um, well, that's not quite how it works but..."

Eamon:  "I know SO much that if I learn anything else, my brain is going to break through my skull!" 

Me:  "Um, let's hope that's not the case..."

Well, it's safe to say that Eamon obviously inherited Mark's sense of humility... which is to say NONE!" ;)

~Spartan Conversations~

While discussing the upcoming Spartan Race...

Eamon:  *sigh* "I hope one day when I'm a grown up I win the Spartan Race so I can get the helmet as my prize.  It would come in handy if I'm ever in a battle."

Me:  "Um, yes, I guess a Spartan helmet would be useful if you're ever in a battle...?"

Mark:  "The second place prize is a sword and third place is a dagger."

Eamon:  "Ooh!  I hope I win second place too so I can win a sword because that would help me in battle too.  I wish fourth place was a shield because I need one of those for battle too.  I wonder where they even get that stuff?" 


Gotta' have your priorities I guess... ;)

~Walking Conversations~

While preparing to take Eamon to a friend's house...

Eamon:  "Are we going to drive or walk to Caleb's house?"

Me:  "It's close so we'll walk there."

Eamon:  "Yay!  Now I have more time to read my book!"

Me:  "You're going to read as we're walking over there?"

Eamon:  "Yeah, I can read and walk at the same time."

Me:  "So you can cross the street while reading too?"

Eamon:  "Sure, if you're with me." 

Well, safety first I guess... ;)

~Name Game Conversations~

While discussing my middle name, which begins with an "S..."

Me: "What do you think it could be?"

Eamon: "Umm, Snake?"

Me: <BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!> "Martha Snake Brown? Really!?"

Eamon: "Ok, um, Slither?"

Me: "Do you really think Mema named me Martha Slither Brown?"

Eamon: *sigh* "No. Soup? Ooh, I know! Shop!"

Me: "Well, I do love to shop but, no, my name is not Martha Shop Brown."

Eamon: "Shell?"

Me: "Closer but, no. It could be... salubrious!"

Eamon: "Really?"

Me: "Maybe..."

I foresee a fun new game during which Eamon learns a lot of new vocabulary words... ;)

~Ninja Conversations~

While driving home from school and making bad puns that apparently even a seven year old doesn't find funny...

Eamon:  <deadpan voice>  "I wonder why I don't laugh at jokes any more."  *sigh*

Me:  "Maybe because your life has been so tough that you've already become jaded and cyncical."

Eamon:  <deadpan voice>  "Or maybe it's because I'm a ninja."

Me:  <snickering> "Ninjas don't laugh?"

Eamon:  "No, because they have to be quiet so they can sneak up on people.  And when I become a master ninja, I can go on top of the monkey bars at the playground but it's too dangerous for me right now, even though some kids do it."


Wow, so glad I have him around to explain the ways of the ninja to me... ;)

~Painting Conversations~

After attending one of those paint-it-yourself classes...

Mark:  "You know, Eamon thinks your painting is really good and that you should hang it up."

Me:  "Oh, that is so sweet, Eamon!  Since you like it that much, maybe we can hang it in your room?"

Eamon:  "Um, well, you still need to put up those other two super hero posters in my room like you said you would so..."

Me:  "Oh, right.  So you really won't have room for it on your wall.  Gotcha'.  Okay..."

*sigh*  When even a 7 year old doesn't want your painting displayed in his room, you know the Met won't be calling anytime soon.  ;)   

Popcorn Conversations

While watching some Clone Wars (Star Wars) episodes tonight...

Eamon:  "I don't know why but my brain is telling me that it wants hot chocolate and popcorn."

Me:  "Interesting..."

Eamon:  "What?  It really is!"

~Shower Conversations~

After getting home from Open House a little late tonight...

Mark:  "Go take a shower right away.  It's already past your story time."

Eamon:  <looking sad & pathetic>  "Mommy?  If it's already past my story time, doesn't that mean it's too late for me to take a shower?"

Me:  <used to him constantly trying to get out of showering>  "Are you seriously trying to get out of bathing again?"

Eamon:  <unable to hold the sad face and breaking into uncontrollable laugher>  "Yes?"

Me:  "Go shower!!!" 


That kid!  That stinky, stinky kid! ;)

~Dancing Conversations~

While watching Saturday morning TV...

Eamon:  "Did you know that my butt can dance?"

Me:  "Um, no...  Ok, let's see it."

Eamon:  <remains sprawled on his belly on the futon>

Me:  "What?  You're not even doing..." <realization slowly dawning>

Eamon:  <clenching and unclenching his butt cheek muscles so that they jiggle>  "See?"


My kid is such a weirdo.  I have NO idea where he gets it from! ;)

~Early Morning Conversations~

When Mark went to wake Eamon this morning, he found him sitting up in bed...

Mark:  "Oh, you're already up."

Eamon:  <groggily>  "Is it lunch time?"

Mark:  "No, it's morning."

Eamon:  <tries to lay back down to go to sleep>

~Never Again Conversations~

After asking Eamon to come downstairs...

Eamon:  <THUMPATHUMP-STOMPBAM-THUMPASTOMP-WHAMTHUMP!>

Me:  <having heart attack after hearing my son falling head over heels down the stairs and then trying to recover once I realize that he didn't fall down the stairs>  "DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!  What did you even do!?  You know what?  I don't care what you did but don't you ever do it again!!!"   

Eamon:  <nonchalantly> "Ok, but that's just how I like to come down the stairs." 


Geez, I can already feel him taking years off my life and he's not even a teenager yet... :P

~Old Conversations~

While getting dressed for bedtime...

Eamon:  "I need to put on my shirt.  I'm getting bug bites all over.  I think that's how peope get old."

Me:  "What?"

Eamon:  "I think that's how people get wrinkly when they get old - the bugs just suck out lots of their blood." 

Hmm, the kid could be on to something... ;)

~Pepperoni Conversations~

While discussing what kind of pizza Eamon wants to order...

Eamon: "I don't want to get the kind of pizza with brown sa'feer pepperoni on it."

Me: "What? What kind of pepperoni don't you want?"

Eamon: "Brown sa'feer pepperoni."

Me: "I don't know what you're talking about. That's not any kind of pepperoni I've ever heard of."

Eamon: "In school last year, when we learned about shapes, we learned about this round shape called sa'feer and I don't like the pepperoni that's brown and sa'feer shaped."

Me: "Wait, are you saying 'sphere'?"

Eamon: "Yeah, sa'feer."

After a brief discussion about the correct way to pronounce "sphere" and the difference between spheres and 2 dimensional circular shapes...

Me: "Ok, now that we've got the sphere part figured out, what is this brown pepperoni that you're talking about?"

Eamon: "You know, it's smaller than regular pepperoni and brown and it is a sa'feer, I mean sphere, shape."

Me: "Are you talking about Italian sausage?"

Eamon: "Yeah, that's it! I don't like that."


Discussions about pizza toppings should not be that exhausting!

~Fundraising Conversations~

While trying to convince Meema (via phone) to contribute to his effort of selling 18 items so that he can ride in a stretch hummer...

Eamon:  "Hi, Meema!"

Meema:  "Hi!  How was schoo..."

Eamon:  "Do you want to buy some cookie dough?  If I sell 18 items, I get to ride in a limo!"

Meema:  "Umm, wha... Oh, fundraiser time."  *sigh*  "What kind of cookie dough?"

Eamon:  "Chocolate chip, macadamia nut, oatmeal raisin.  What kind do you want?"

Meema:  "Well, let me talk to Aunt Erica and..."

Eamon:  "So what kind of cookie dough do you want to buy?  I can't wait to ride in a limo!"


Hmm, I need to learn Eamon's hard-sell technique!  ;)

~2nd Grade Conversations~

While discussing his first day of school...

Eamon:  "I kind of like second grade.  And I can't wait to multiply!"

Me:  "That's great!  I'm so glad you liked your first day in Ms. Cote's class!"

Eamon:  "Oh, was that her name?"

Me:  "Um, yeah.  Remember when we went to school on Tuesday to meet your new teacher?"

Mark:  "And I said her name to you a million times in the car this morning?"

Eamon:  "Umm, not really."

~Counterfeit Conversations~

While deciding what to do on our Sunday afternoon...

Eamon:  "You can take me to the toy store and we can try to buy the Pharoah's Quest Lego set."

Me:  "No, you don't have nearly enough money for that."

Eamon:  <slyly>  "Yes, I do..."

Me:  "No, you don't.  It's over a hundred dollars and you have less than ten in your piggy bank." 

Eamon:  "But if I use those fake dollars, I'll have enough."

Me:  "What are you talking about?"

Eamon:  "Remember those dollar bills I cut out of my Math workbook?  We can use those."

Me:  *sigh*  "We've talked about this, Eamon.  They can't be spent.  Those are just pieces of paper that kind of look like dollar bills - on one side!  They're not even the same size as real money!" 

Eamon:  "But we could try..." 


I foresee myself spending a lot of time in Eamon's principal's office in the future... ;)

~Forced Fun Conversations~

While walking to the park for our "fun family outing" (i.e. forced fun)...

Eamon:  <squeal, swat, violent head shake>  "Argh!  The bugs!  The bugs are getting meeee!!!!  UGH!  I'm itchy! They're making me ITCH!!!  I'm hot!! Do we have to go to the park?  My legs hurt!! "

Me:  *sigh*  "You'll live."

10 more minutes of squealing and complaing about bugs...

Within five seconds of arriving at the park...

Eamon:  "Yay!  Mom, watch me!  I'm going to swing!  Can you push me?  Watch me climb the slide!  Now I'm going down!  Whee!  I'm going to play with those kids!" 

After at least 20 minutes of playing happily at the park until I say it's time to go...

Eamon:  "My stomach hurts.  I'm hungry. " 

Me:  *sigh*  "You can eat - again - when we get home."

Eamon:  "I want ice cream.  My toe hurts.  Argh!  The bugs are getting me again!  I'm itchy!  I don't have to write in my journal tonight, do I?  I'm too tired.  I'm so tired from playing all day!"

Me:  *sigh*  "Played all day?  This is the first time today you left the house."

Eamon:  "But I'm tired now.  My leg hurts.  Can I call daddy?  I'm hot.  It's almost dark!  When can I have ice cream?  Argh!  The buuugssss!!!" 

Sees Dad & Rowan coming around the corner from finishing their run as we approach the house, sprints toward them, suddenly cured of all ills...

Eamon:  "Daddy!  I had fun at the park!"      


I don't think anyone would blame me if I just hopped in my car and never looked back, right? ;) 

~Animal Conversations~

While watching TV this morning...

Eamon:  "I want to be an animal 'cuz I don't want to go to school."

Me:  "Really?  Any animal?"

Eamon:  "I want to be Wolverine's pet."

Me:  "Wolverine, like from X-men, has a pet?"

Eamon:  "Yeah, he has a cool pet and that's what I want to be."

Supposedly there's a book that shows Wolverine's pet but now he can't find it... ;)

~Speed Yoga Conversations~

After coming upstairs to ask Eamon why the shower wasn't running and why he wasn't in it, I saw him stretched out on a mat...

Eamon:  "I'm not in the shower yet b/c I'm doing yoga to help my back."

Me:  "Oh, really..."

Eamon:  "Yeah, I'm going to do all the poses on daddy's yoga mat."

Me:  <watching him get into a pose and hold it for about half a second before moving on>  "You know, you need to hold your yoga poses longer for it to help."

Eamon:  "Nah, I don't want to do that.  Hey, can you help me get my stomach off the ground for Bow Pose?"

Me:  "Um, the whole point is that you need to use your muscles to do it yourself."

Eamon:  "Oh. Well, I'm almost done anyway.  Just one more... Ow!"

Me:  "What do you mean 'ow?'  You're in corpse pose."

Eamon:  "Yeah, it hurts my back."

Me:  "Well, you know maybe..."

Eamon:  <jumps up> "I'm hungry!"  <runs downstairs for food>


I guess speed yoga is hard work! ;)

~Metal Conversations~

While walking to the car after camp today...

Eamon:  "Mommy, how do you make metal?"

Me:  "Ummm, for what...??"

Eamon:  "You know, metal for my dragon tank that I'm going to make when I'm grown up."

Me:  "Right, the dragon tank.  Well, to make metal from scratch, you'd need to mine metal ore from the earth and then..."

Eamon:  "What's ore?"

Me:  "It's the bits of raw metal that's in the ground.  So you'd have to mine in and then heat it up super hot and mold it into the shapes you want."

Eamon:  "How do you pick it up when it's really hot?  Do you use oven mitts?"

Me:  "Well, not exactly..."

Eamon:  "Really big oven mitts?"

Me:  "Uh, sure, close enough..."

Eamon:  "But I still don't understand how I'm going to make metal for my dragon tank."

Me:  <struck with a sudden idea>  "Ok, remember that episode of Avatar, the Last Airbender when Sokka makes a sword from that meteor?  And they heat up the metal and mold it into the shape of a sword and beat it w/ hammers?  That's how you do it!" 

Thank goodness for Nickelodeon... ;)

~Bonding Conversations~

The father-son bond between Mark and Eamon grows stronger - and odder - every day.  So while we were getting ready to read Eamon stories before bed, this exchange took place...

Eamon:  <makes rude noise>

Me:  "Eamon, geez!  You're starting to sound like your dad."

Eamon:  <giggles and grins mischieviously>

30 seconds later after Mark walks in...

Mark:  <makes rude noise>

Me:  "Mark!"

Eamon:  <very seriously> "It wasn't him, mommy. It was one of my stuffed animals."

Mark:  "Um, yeah... I thought so but I was going to take the blame because I didn't want your stuffed animal to feel embarrassed.  But thanks for setting the record straight, son!"

Eamon smiles angelically and they do a father-son fist bump while I shake my head at the absurdity of it all...

~Wishful Conversations~

While walking to the park today, Eamon insisted on bringing his life-sized Nerf battle-axe...

Mark:  "Eamon, hurry up!  Why do you keep falling behind?  You need to walk with your mom and I."

Eamon:  "I'm chopping down the flowers that we pass by, but just the white ones."

Me:  "The dandelions?"

Eamon:  <ominously> "Yeah, so no one can make wishes on them."

Me:  <sigh>  "My son the wish-slayer..."

~Yogi Conversations~

While playing with my 5 lb weights...

Eamon:  "I like working out with weights."

Me:  "You do, huh?"

Eamon:  "Yeah, and you can do yoga stuff with them."  <balances his body above the floor on his hands, which are on the weights>

Me:  "Really?  Did you learn that yoga move from Aunt Erica?"

Eamon:  "No, I just know it."

Me:  "But where did you learn it?"

Eamon:  "I made it up."


My kid the yoga genius...? ;)

~Mouthwashing Conversations~

While doing the bedtime routine tonight...

Eamon:  "Mommy, can you help me with the [kids'] mouthwash?"

Me:  "Sure. <walks into the bathroom and notices somthing odd>  "Hey, we've had this mouthwash for over a week but it's so full that it's about to spill out the top... almost like someone has been topping it off with something?"

Eamon: .....

Me:  "Eamon, have you been filling the mouthwash bottle with water every night?"

Eamon:  "Well, yeah, so we wouldn't run out." 

Geez, why didn't I think of that!? ;)

~Father-Son Conversations~

While driving home from the lake, I noticed in my rear-view mirror, a furiously waving hand...

Me:  "Uh, yes, Eamon, did you want to say something?"

Eamon:  "I still haven't picked what kind of car I want."
Me:  "Uhh, what?"

Eamon:  "I need to figure out what kind of car I want."

Me:  "For when you get older?"

Eamon:  "Yeah. I just saw car places called Nissan and Infinity and I already know about Hondas, Toyotas, and Fords.  Which do you think I should get?"

Mark:  "A gas-guzzling monstrosity!"

Eamon:  "Daddy, it has to be good for the environment."

Mark:  <sigh>  "Ok, how about a... TANK!?"

Eamon:  "YESSSSS!!!"

<Pause for father-son fist bump while I shake my head>

Mark:  <laughing>  "Because a tank is so eco-friendly..."

Eamon:  "Mine will be.  I'm going to use my tank to blow up bad factories!"

Mark:  "Awesome!"

Eamon:  "But I'm going to send the factories a note first.  I'll give them a chance to stop doing bad stuff and if they don't, I'm going to blow them up!" 

Mark:  "But blowing the factories up could pollute as bad as the factories do."

Eamon:  <thinking>  "Ok, I'm going to make a dragon tank and it's going to have drills and if they don't stop polluting, the note will say my tank is going to drill them into the ground!"

Mark:  "Cool!"

And then the conversation turned, naturally, to the Batmobile, which Mark said he'd like for Eamon to make for him...

Eamon:  "Are you sure you wouldn't rather have real Kryptonite, Daddy?"

Mark:  <scoffing>  "Nope, just the Batmobile."

Eamon:  "Ok, I'll make you the Batmobile and I'll throw in the Kryptonite for free.  You have to pay for the Batmobile but since I'm your son, you won't have to pay a lot. You can pay me a $1." 

Mark:  "Plus expenses, right?"

Eamon:  "No, I'm going to build it myself so I won't have to buy anything so you just pay me a dollar.  But since I'm giving you the Kryptonite for free, you need to give me something for free, Daddy."

Mark:  "Of course.  You can be Robin to my Batman and ride around in the Batmobile with me."

Eamon:  "No, I mean something good."

Mark:  "What's better than being my sidekick?"

Eamon:  "The Pharoah's Quest Lego set."

Mark:  "Ok, you build me the Batmobile and give me Kryptonite and I will be buy you Pharoah's Quest."

Eamon:  "YESSSS!  Now we just need to find a $1,000 bill..." 


In case you don't remember, Eamon is obsessed with 1) building cars and selling them to people for a dollar and 2) finding a $1,000 bill which he plans to buy the Lego Pharoah's Quest with since he doesn't believe us when we say it's $100... ;)

~Computer Conversations~

While discussing how many books we have left to read for the library's summer reading program...

Eamon:  "I only have 7 more circles to fill in and then I can turn my paper in for a prize!"

Me:  "Cool. We can go next Saturday to turn our forms in."

Eamon:  "Saturday? But that's when Prankster Planet Level 3 comes out!"

Me:  "What?"

Eamon:  "Prankster Planet - that game on the computer - puts out a new level each Saturday and next week is Level 3."

Me:  "Wait a minute.  Are you telling me you're planning to spend all of next Saturday playing a game on the computer?"

Eamon:  "Well, just until I beat Level 3."

The fact that he was planing to spend all of next Saturday in front of the computer, to the exclusion of all other activities, is especially funny to me b/c we have rules about how long he gets to spend on the computer and when.  A boy can dream though, I guess.  ;)

~Brownie Conversations~

While discussing whether or not Eamon was going to share the brownie treat with me that he made in Zoo camp...

Me:  "Yum, I can't wait to have some!"

Eamon:  "What?! It's for me, mommy. See?  It's got my name on the bag."

Me:  "You have two there.  I think you can share one."

Suddenly a horrible thought strikes...

Me:  "Wait a minute... Did you wash your hands before you made that brownie treat?"

Eamon:  "Well........"

Me:  <recoiling at the possibility of all the germs on those brownies> "'Well'? 'Well' what?  Did you wash your hands or not before you made that?!" 

Eamon:  "Well, we did pet an animal friend right before we did the brownies so we did have to use hand sanitizer."

I did eat some of the brownie to prove that I wasn't afraid and so that my 7 yr old won't suffer through salmonella alone but I think that may have been the first time I didn't enjoy eating chocolate... ;) 

~Friendly Conversations~

While waiting for Eamon's swim lessons to begin...

Boy:  <approaches Eamon, gesticulating excitedly>  "Were you at Zoo camp today?"

Eamon:  "Yeah."

Boy:  <turns, smiles to his dad, and walks away>  "I knew it!"

The dad and I look at each other and smile in exasperation at the social skills of 7 year olds...

Me:  "Eamon, why don't you go ask that little boy his name."

Eamon:  "Ok." <walks over, asks the boy's name, and walks back to me>  "His name's Harrison."

Me:  "Cool.  Did you tell him your name?"

Eamon:  "Oh, I forgot."

Ten seconds later...

Boy:  <walks over>  "Hey, what's your name?"

Eamon:  "It's Eamon."

Boy:  <turns to dad>  "His name's Eamon!" <walks away without another glance>

Eamon:  "Well, now I have a friend in Zoo camp." 

If only making friends could that be easy your whole life! ;)

~Acting Conversations~

While tucking Eamon in for bed...

Me:  <noticing him laying oddly on the bed w/ his mouth open>  "Are you licking your pillow?"

Eamon: <not moving>

Me:  "Eamon, what are you doing?  I really hope you aren't licking your pillow."

Eamon:  <whispering>  "I'm dead."

Me:  <instantly switching into melodrama mode>  "Oh, no!  Not that!  Not... DEAD!!!!"

Eamon:  <sigh>  "I'm not really dead.  How come you can't ever tell?"

Me:  "I guess because you're such a good actor."

Eamon:  "Mommy!" 

~Thousand Dollar Conversations~

From Eamon's daily journal...

"I wish that I had enough money to get the giant Pharohs quest [Lego playset].  There is a giant scorpion!  I think it is a 1,000 Dollars.  I'm going to find a 1,000 Dollar bill."

Me:  <after reviewing the journal entry> "You're planning to find a $1,000 bill so you can buy that Lego set?"

Eamon:  "Well, it would take too long to make a $1,000 so I'm just going to find it instead." 

~Grocery Conversations~

While discussing Eamon's favorite subject - food - and how often I have to go to the store to get it...

Eamon:  "You probably get tired of buying groceries every Sunday, right, mommy?"

Me:  "Well, yeah, it does get kind of old."

Eamon:  "I know!  Daddy can go to the grocery store from now on!"

Me:  <laughing at the thought of the grocery shopping duties going to Mark and how much the bill would increase since he's not a bargain shopper>  "Sure, yeah, it can be his job from now on!"

Eamon:  "Daddy can do the grocery shopping for thirty years and then you can do it for thirty years and then he can do it for thirty years and then you can do it for thirty years!"

Me:  "So we're going to switch grocery duties every thirty years, huh?"
Eamon:  "Yeah!  Isn't that a good plan?!"

~Kitty Cat Conversations~

While discussing one of my mom's cats and one of its many names...

Eamon:  "A long time ago, when I named him Zon Ton, I didn't mean to name him that.  I meant to name him the same name as that animal in Star Wars.  You know that animal I mean, Mommy?"

Me:  "You mean the one that Luke Skywalker slept in?  A Ton Ton?"

Eamon:  "Yeah, Ton Ton!  So that's his name now." 

So apparently we've been calling the cat the wrong name for the past two years!  But it's ok b/c this cat has more names than a con artist - Santana Darwin Squee Zon-Ton Mischief Ton-Ton, in order of names given by various caretakers, owners, and assorted grandchildren. ;) 

~Musical Conversations~

While driving in the car trying to decide what to listen to...

Eamon:  "Ooh, I like this one!"

Me & Rowan:  <shocked because he'd just spent 5 minutes whining and complaining about the last song> "You do!?"

Eamon:  "Yeah, because it sounds like people dying."

Me:  "Wha...?!"

~Armpit Conversations~

Eamon:  "Whew! I need to rest my armpit!"

Me:  "What!? Why do you need to rest your armpit?"

Eamon:  <matter of factly> "Because when I scratch it too much, it hurts." <proceeds to tuck a pillow under his armpit and stretches his arm out on the length of the pillow>

Three minutes later...

Eamon:  "Ok, my armpit feels fine now!"

~Scary Conversations~

After jumping out at yelling "Boo!" at Eamon...

Eamon:  "Don't do that!  You're not supposed to scare me!"

Me:  "But you sneak up and scare me all the time.  Why is it ok for you to do it to me but I can't do it to you?"

Eamon:  "Because I'm a kid and I'm scared. Of everything."

~No Conversation, Just Ranting~

No, that's not the linoleum pattern you're seeing.  All those little speckles are sand (click on photo to enlarge).  Lots and lots and LOTS of sand, courtesy of Lake Murray and my seven year old who decided to belly crawl across the shore when I told him it was time to go.  (Did I mention that, despite the fact that he whined about how cold he was for at least 10 minutes before we left, when I gave in and said we could go, he slowly drug himself out of the water and across the beach to demonstrate his reluctance to leave?;)

Fast forward an hour...

After arriving at the house, I instructed him to remove his sandy swim trunks and shower - because he would have stayed in them otherwise.  The next time I went into the bathroom, from the amount of sand under my feet, I thought I was back at the beach!  When I questioned him about it, he looked quite puzzled, almost as if he didn't know what sand was. 

To really understand his confusion (imagined or otherwise), you have to have seen "A Christmas Story."  If you haven't seen it, please stop reading and go watch it now! (What the heck kind of childhood did you have anyway?!)  Now that you have seen it, do you remember the scene after the triple dog dare in which all of the kids leave Flick outside stuck to the flag pole?  And the teacher asks where Flick is, to which Ralphie gives a blank look and thinks to himself, "Flick? Who's Flick?"  Yeah, that's exactly the look I got when I asked about the sand on the bathroom floor. 

"Sand?  What's sand?" 

Unfortunately, my whole family has perfected "the look."  "Butter?  Smeared across the countertops, you say?  What's butter?"  "Laundry that needs to be folded?  I do not understand this 'laundry' of which you speak...?"  *sigh* One day I'm going to end up at Our Lady of Peace** and it's going to be because of "the look." 

Needless to say, he swept up the sand, although it took three inspections for him to get it all -

and he also put away the swim trunks he'd hidden behind the door!  ;)

**Louisville reference

(which isn't even a Louisville reference anymore b/c Our Lady of Peace was renamed)

~Workout Conversations~

While doing my homework tonight, Eamon decided to "workout" with my 5 lb. weights...

Eamon:  <pretending to strain>  "...seven, eight, nine... just need to get to a million..."

Me:  "A million?!"

Eamon:  <no longer straining>  "Yeah, a million.  What?"

Me:  "I don't think you'll make it to a million."

Eamon:  "Sure I will. <resumes counting> A hundred and two, a hundred and three, a hundred and four, a thousand and five, a thousand and six..."

Me:  "Hey, didn't you skip some numbers?"

Eamon:  <thinking>  "No, I'm counting them all. <resumes counting>  A thousand and seven, a million and eight, a million and nine... Done!"

Yep, he's the workout partner for me! ;) 

~Zombie Conversations~

While playing with a long thin bendy-toy at my office...

Eamon:  "Look at what I made!  Glasses!  <perches them on nose, flutters eyelids, and sticks out tongue>  And now I'm a zombie wearing glasses." 

Me:  <teasing>  "A zombie with glasses?  Why would a zombie be wearing glasses?"

Eamon:  <suddenly serious>  "Zombies can wear glasses too, Mommy.  Some zombies need glasses to see, you know."

Me:  "Oh, right.  I didn't realize... Wait a minute!"

His little "zombies-are-people-too" lecture actually made feel guilty for my marginalization of the optically-impaired zombie population until I remembered that there is no zombie population, optically-impaired or otherwise!  At least I hope there isn't... ;)

~An Assortment of Eamonisms~

While cleaning out a closet today, I found an old baby-block-shaped bank...

Eamon:  "Ooh, that's cool looking!

Me:  <nostalgically>  "That was mine when I was a baby."

Eamon:  <smiles angelically>  "Can I have it, Mommy?" 

Me:  <feeling proud to pass on an heirloom>  "Well, sure, sweetie!"

Eamon:  <fiddling with the bank>  "The bottom of this bank is weird.  How do you even open it?"

Me:  "Oh, let's see if I remember the trick... Oh, there it goes!  See, that's how you open it."

Eamon:  <dumps out coins into his hand, gives me old bank>  "Thanks!"

Me:  "What are you doing?"

Eamon:  "Putting this money in my Spiderman bank.  You can keep the old one." 

And that's how my seven year old conned me out of my childhood life savings!  And he's been ensuring that I have no adult life savings ever since he was born... ;)
=============================================

While Eamon's school friend was over today...

Eamon:  <opening the door to the bathroom>  "Why is this door knob sticky?"

Random Friend:  "Oh, that's just the peanut butter from earlier."

Eamon:  "Oh, ok."

=============================================

While trying to help Eamon come up with today's topic for his daily summer journal entry - and coming up with  four sentences always ends up being way more difficult than you would think!

Me:  "Honey, you can write about anything!  Just write about something you did today or something that interests you.  What interests you?"

Eamon:  <lightbulb goes on>  "Eating!"

Me:  "Um, ok, sure.  I guess you can write about eating..."

So we ended up with this...

"Today I ate crackers.  I also ate strawberries.  My friend ate peanut butter crackers.  He also ate strawberries."

We've been at this for a week and the kid has already figured out how to work the system! :P

~Meaty Conversations~

While watching "The Cat in the Hat" this morning...

Eamon:  <laughing> "The Cat just said, 'Meet cotton candy!'  How can you meet cotton candy?  Ooh, but meat cotton candy sounds good!"

Me:  "Cotton candy made out of meat?  That's disgusting!"

Eamon:  "I think it sounds awesome!  I know Daddy and Rowan would like it."

Me:  "Yeah, because they're weird."

Eamon:  "Well, I'm weird too."

30 seconds later...

Eamon:  "Daddy, I just had an idea about food:  cotton candy made out of meat!"

Mark:  "That sounds awesome, buddy!"


It's becoming increasingly obvious that I am the only sane one in this family...

~Bedtime Conversations~

While deciding on a bedtime book...

Me:  "Hey, how about that Why Do Snakes Hiss? book?  I don't think we've read that yet."

Mark:  <jokingly>  "Snakes? Sounds boring to me!"

Eamon:  <reproachfully>  "Daddy!  You know I need to learn lots of facts about animals so we're reading it!"

~Random Sunday Morning Conversations~

After watching a Curious George episode, featuring the Italian chef character...

Eamon:  "Did you know that people in Italy eat spaghetti for every meal?"

Me:  *sigh*  "They don't really.  It's just that shows on TV only show them eating that.  I promise you that Italian people eat other kinds of food too.  Ok, now the show's over so you have to go help Rowan with the dishes."

Eamon:  "Mommy, why does it feel like we have to put away dishes all the time?"

Me:  "Because you guys constantly dirty them.  Now get to it."

Yep, making the kids load and unload the dishwasher after every meal and/or cooking project was the best idea I've ever had. ;) 

~TV Conversations~

While watching one of those "get outside" commercials on the morning cartoon channel...

Eamon:  "Don't worry TV, I'm going outside soon!"

And then he'd had enough of the self-righteousness...

Eamon:  "If going inside 'creates a host of problems,' then why do we sleep inside, huh!?"

~Desk Cleanout Conversations~

After Aunt Erica spent Eamon's last day at school with him...

Erica:  "Your son's desk was a mess.  When I pulled out all the papers stuffed in there, including old artwork, hat and mittens, an old cookie fell out."

Eamon:  "It wasn't a cookie!"

Erica:  "It wasn't a cookie?  What was it?!"

Eamon:  "Crust."

Us:  "Ewww!" 

Erica:  "Yeah, his friend Bob said, 'Eamon's a hoarder'."


Seven years old and my son is a hoarder... :(

~Mother's Day Conversations~

This is the Mother's Day card Eamon made for me at school. :)

Dear Mom, 

I love you because some times you donet let me do the dishis or fold my close.  You are the gratest Mom at USC!  Thanck you for geting the groshres on Sundays.  It is fun to walck to the park together.   

Love, Eamon

~School Awards Conversations~

Eamon:  "Mommy, I got five awards at school today!"

Me:  "Five? That's awesome! What were the awards for?"

Eamon:  "I got a Smart Cookie Award and I got an award that is a cookie and three others."

Me:  "A cookie award?  Let me see that... Honey, the Smart Cookie Award certificate is stapled to a baggie w/ a cookie in it so I think it's all one thing but it is still cool.  Now tell me about your other aw..."

Eamon:  "No!  The cookie award is different than the Smart Cookie Award."

Me:  "Ok, fine but tell me about your other awards."

Eamon:  *shrugs* "They're in my folder if you want to see but the cookie award is the only one that came with food." 


Even at 6, he definitely has his priorities... ;)


 

~Shaken Present Conversations~

While ogling the two birthday presents left by Meema the last time she visited...

Eamon:  "Mommy?"

Me:  "Yes?"

Eamon:  "I can't wait until it's my birthday so I can open Meema's presents."

Me:  "Yes, that will be really fun."

Eamon:  "Mommy?"

Me:  "Yes?"

Eamon:  "Can I just shake Meema's presents?  I won't open them."

Me:  "Yeah, I guess."

Eamon:  <shaking like crazy>  "Ooh, sounds like Legos.  Uh-oh... Um, mommy?"

Me:  <wondering how he managed to break and/or open the present w/ less than 10 seconds of shaking>  "Yes?"

Eamon:  "I need to show you something."

Brings me the present and points at a corner where there is no wrapping paper (something my mom is famous for!), clearly showing that it is indeed Legos...

Eamon:  *sigh* "Well, now that present's ruined."

As if he wasn't secretly overjoyed to find out he was getting more Legos! ;)

UPDATE:  30 minutes later...

Eamon:  "Mommy, I have a question for you."

Me:  "Ok...?"

Eamon:  "If a present is missing some wrapping paper, is it ok to just go ahead and open it?"

Me:  "No, the person needs to wait until their party to open the present!"

Eamon:  "Ok, I was just wondering."

~Loose Tooth Conversations~

A little while after a traumatic loose tooth incident this morning...

Me:  "Eamon, please help me put away at the groceries."

Eamon:  "But my stomach hurts."

Me:  "Your stomach always hurts when it's time to help around the house."

Eamon:  "But this time it really does.  I think it's b/c I can't drink anything until my tooth comes out."

Me:  "That silly rule you made up will not keep you from having to help around the house."

Eamon:  *sigh* "Ok.  Well, then can I have something to drink?" 


And I should also mention that he decided that one of several of his tooth-pulling attempts should occur while we were in line at the grocery store and I was trying to pay and get the grocery bags in the cart! 

~Puppet Conversations~

Out of the blue while driving in the car...

Eamon: "I don't like puppets b/c when you put your fingers in them, their mouths open and they have really sharp teeth."

Me: "Honey, puppets don't have teeth."

Eamon: "Yes, they do."

Mark: "Ok, the basic thing you need to remember is that puppets are just full of stuffing, nothing that can hurt you."

Eamon: "They're not stuffed, they're made of wood."

Mark: "Ok, regardless of the type of puppet, they have no muscles or brains so they can't hurt you."

Eamon: "They do have brains and they're made of plastic inside wood."

Us: *SIGH*


Suddenly his near-nervous-breakdown during the field trip to the marionette theatre two years ago makes a lot more sense! ;)

~Head Injury Conversations~

After receiving yet another call about Eamon hitting his head during his afterschool program (2nd time in two weeks)...

Me: "You hit your head again? You have got to start paying more attention to your surroundings so you don't do that anymore!  I would really like your head to stay dent-free."

Eamon: *sigh* "Ok, I'll try."

Several minutes later, after arriving home...

Eamon: <jumping onto kitchen counter> "Ow, I hit my head..."

~Dog Conversations~

As we were driving home from Ziggy's yearly vet visit...

Eamon:  "What's a heartworm and how does it get inside a dog anyway?"

Us:  <trying to explain it in 6 yr old terms and failing miserably>

Eamon:  "Well, I think it just crawls in through the dog's butt." 


Btw, Ziggy passed her heartworm test w/ flying colors so no worries! :)

~Cupcake Conversations~

As Rowan was preparing to make cupcakes for a late Mother's Day present...

Mark: "Ok, babe, what can I do to help?"

Rowan:  "Nothing.  Just keep me company and DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING!"

Eamon:  <creeping over to whisper to dad> "TOUCH EVERYTHIIIIIIIIIING!"

~Tea Time Conversations~

While drinking tea to help with his sore throat and cough

Eamon:  "Mmm, tea leaf juice is cool.  And tasty!  What flavor is this?"

Me:  "Chammomile-Honey-Vanilla."

Eamon:  "Cool.  What other flavors of tea do they have?"

Me:  "More like what flavors don't they have... Um, let's see fruit tea, Thai tea, Chai tea, black tea, caramel truffle, Early Grey... and a whole bunch more that I can't think of."

Eamon:  "Awesome!  But how do mashed up tea leaves make tea?"

Me:  *sigh* "We're going to be here for a while..."

~Sick Day Conversations~

After a sleepless night thanks to Eamon's croupy cough...

7:30am

Eamon:  <with barely audible raspy throat>  "Mommy, I still don't feel good.  Can I lay down with you for a while?"

10:30am

Eamon:  <literally bouncing from futon to ceiling to futon to floor and back>  "Mommy, let's go shopping!!!  I have money and I want to buy Lego Bionicles!!"

11:30am

Trying to get out of the house for the Dr's appointment...

Me:  "Eamon, what is taking so long?  We're going to be late.  Please hurry!" 

Eamon:  <literally flowing like molasses on his belly down the stairs>  "I'm just so tired.  You know I didn't get much sleep last night." 

~Leprechaun Conversations~

From an assignment Eamon did for St. Patrick's Day at school...

How to Catch a Leprachan by Eamon Wood

Frist, I would make lazers you cant see. 

Then, I would make the lazers moove. 

Next, I would stele the gold. 

Last, I would make a fake pot of gold to make him thinck its real.


*sigh* Stealing from the horizontally-challenged?  Geez, what do they teach kids in schools these days? ;)

~Blue Conversations~

For some reason, Eamon decided he wanted to watch an old Blue's Clues DVD this morning...

Steve (on TV show):  "I need to paint something the green but I don't have that color in my paint set.  I wonder what two colors I can mix together to make green..."

Eamon: [speaking to TV]  "Blue and yellow."

Steve (on TV show): "Do YOU know which colors I should use?"

Eamon:  [now yelling at TV] "BLUE AND YELLOW!  You should know this!"

~Surprise Conversations~

While trying to view my pre-recorded online lecture for class...

Eamon:  "Mommy, I have a surprise for you.  Don't turn around..."

Turning around anyway...

Eamon:  <pelts me with his dirty socks>  "Surprise!" 

Me:  "Well now you get to put your dishes in the sink AND mine.  Surprise!"

Eamon:  "Hey, no fair!" 

~College Conversations~

While discussing how long Rowan might be in college...

Eamon:  "You can go to college for four days or four years."

Me:  "It's more like four years, sweetie."

Eamon:  "No, some people don't have to go that long.  Like Martin Luther King skipped a grade.  I think he skipped college too."

Me:  "No, sweetie, he definitely went to college!  His title was Doctor Martin Luther King, which means that he went to college for a very long time to earn that."

Eamon:  "Whatever.  I just can't wait to be a mechanic so I can build pod racers.  Everything will be a dollar."

Me:  "That's very generous of you." 

Eamon:  "Yeah.  I just need to come up with a symbol for the new kind of racers I'm going to make."

~Nasal Conversations~

While discussing joint popping...

Rowan:  "I can even pop my nose!  *pop*  Which is kind of weird since there are no bones in there..."

Eamon:  "Cool!  Yeah, my nose is made of carnage, not bones."

Me:  "What?!"

Eamon:  "My nose is made of CARNAGE."

Me & Rowan:  <BWAHAHAHA!> 

Me:  "Cartilage, your nose is made of cartilage."

Eamon:  "Ohhhh!"

~Snowman Conversations~

While looking through Eamon's school stuff after picking him up...

Me:  "Nice snowman picture, buddy.  Hey, why is there an arrow drawn through his midsection..."

Eamon:  <MANIACAL LAUGHTER>

Me:  "Umm, and in this other picture you drew, the guy has X's over his eyes..."

Eamon:  <MORE MANIACAL LAUGHTER>

Me:  "Dude, seriously!  What's up with these?"

Eamon:  "I like drawing dead people.  The one with X's on his eyes died of old age.  Besides, they're just snowmen and you can do anything you want to snow men."

I guess you can't argue with that logic. ;)

Mark assures me that it's quite normal for little boys to draw dead things.  Hmmm....

~Insurance Conversations~

After watching an ad for the Gerber Growup life insurance plan...

Eamon:  "100,000 dollars?! I want a 100,000 dollars!! If I had a 100,000 dollars, I could probably buy... what's that ship called mommy?"

Me:  "The Millenium Falcon?"

Eamon:  "Yeah!  I would buy the Millenium Falcon!  And you know what's cool about that?  It comes with Lego Chewbacca and you have to built him!"

Me:  "Ahh, so you're referring to the Lego Millenimum Falcon that you would buy with your $100,000!"

~Making Conversational Faces~

While making silly faces at each other...

Eamon:  <tiring of the game>  "Stop making faces at me."

Me:  <in sing-songy teasing voice>  "You can't stop me..."

Eamon: <sighs>  "Of course I can."  <gets up, walks over, and tickles my stomach mercilessly!>

Marti:  <after shrieking and writhing>  "Ok, maybe you can...."


I guess that's a lesson for me not to antagonize him when he's sick! ;) 

~Sick Conversations~

After being called to school to pick up a sick boy...

Eamon:  "Mommy, what time is it?"

Me:  "Two o'clock."

Eamon:  "What time does 'Wild Kratts' come on?"

Me:  "Five o'clock."

Eamon:  "So I haven't missed it yet?  YESSSS!"


Hmm, maybe not quite so sick after all...

~Guitar Conversations~

Eamon:  "Mommy, look at my rubber band guitar I made at Science Day!  See, we put rubber bands around a shoe box!"

Me:  "Oh, cool!"

Eamon:  "Watch how good I can play it!" <lots of feverish rubber band twanging>

Me:  "Nice!  You know, your dad has a real guitar at home.  Maybe he can show you how to play some songs on it."

Eamon:  "Nah, I already know how to play this guitar."

~Historical Conversations~

While in the car on the way to school...

Eamon:  "Did you know that my face bone is stronger than my finger bones?"

Me:  "Umm, no, I didn't... How did you figure that out?"

Eamon:  "Watch!" <pokes his cheeks in with each index finger and closes jaw, pushing the cheeks and fingers outward>  "My face bone is super strong!"

Me:  "Ahh, I see!   Well, did you know that your face has lots of bones in it and the one you're using when you shut your mouth is your mandible?  And when you get to high school you could take a whole class called 'Anatomy & Phsyiology' about the inside of your body!"

Eamon:  "Cool!  That would be Science, right?  I love Science!  I think I like History but I don't know any."

Me:  "Your Grandpa John loved History!  And so do your dad and I.  Let's see if I can think of a good History story..." <tells quick story about Alexander the Great>

Eamon:  "That was really good, Mommy.  You should write that down."

Me:  "Umm, well, someone else already did but thanks."

Eamon:  "Well, I guess now I know History."

Me:  "Honey, that was just one story.  There are lots and lots of stories you'll hear when you learn about History."

Eamon:  "Oh."

~Church Conversations~

While driving to swim lessons...

Eamon:  "Hey, mommy, see that place they're building over there?  What's it going to be?"

Me:  "I don't know.  Maybe a store?  Because we definitely don't have enough places to spend our money as it is..."

Eamon:  "I just hope it's not another church!"

Me: "Okayyy...?"

Eamon:  "They just keep building and building them and there are already too much!  There is much more churches here than anywhere else!"


Hmm, I had no idea my 6 yr old was such an expert on the number of religious establishments in each city.  ;)  Just for a little background though, he was slightly traumatized by the recent removal of a large amount of trees at our nearby park in order to make way for a church.      

~Bus Conversations~

While driving to school in the morning...

Eamon: "Hey, I think that's one of my school's buses!"

Me: "How can you tell?"

Eamon: "Because the windows are supposed to go down but they won't.  Curse you, bus windows!  CURSE YOU!!!"


Yes, my 6 year old was literally shaking his fist at the bus windows and yelling, "Curse you!!" I don't know whether to be proud or disturbed. ;)

~Singing Conversations~

For some reason, while leaving the house in the morning, I often have the urge to sing a certain Air Force song, which I did this morning to mixed results...

Me:  "Off we go into the wild blue yonder...!!"

Eamon:  "Augh!  Can you please stop that?!?!"

Me:  "Why?  It's fun to sing in the morning and you like music."

Eamon:  "Actually I like every song in the world except the ones you sing."

Me:  "Well, thanks a lot!" <angry sarcastic voice>

Eamon:  "No, really."


And then we had a discussion about not saying rude things to your mother... ;)

~Cow Conversations~

While at Eamon's school festival

Me:  "Oh, there's the Chick Fil A cow. I wonder if they'll have coupons.  I could use some free..."

Eamon:  "Chick Fil A Cow?! Augh!!" <hides behind me>

Me:  "Um, what is this all about? You're not afraid of people in animal costumes."

Eamon:  "I hope Cocky [the USC mascot] shows up to destroy the evil cow!"

VS.

???

Yeah, I think Cocky can take the cow! ;)

~Conversations with Thor~

Shortly after coming home from school and assuming his identity as the god of thunder...

Eamon/Thor: "Mommy, I can't find my Thor helmet. Have you seen it?"

Me: "Did you check the dining room where you just came from?"

Eamon/Thor: "Oh, yeah..."

A few minutes later...

Eamon/Thor: "Mommy, have you seen my hammer?"

Me: "You know, for the god of thunder, you're awfully forgetful."

Eamon/Thor: *sigh* "I'm not really Thor. My name is Eamon. But I can show you how Thor uses his hammer to fly!"

~Bedtime Conversations~

While sitting together on Eamon's bed reading him a bedtime story...

Me: "Ok, that's a good place to stop for tonight. Goodnight, sweetie."

Eamon: <throws arms around me and snuggles in> "I love you, mommy."

Me: <enjoying this rare display of snuggly affection and thinking that maybe he hasn't grown out of this yet and that I can still expect lots more of cuddling with my baby boy befor he's too big for that and...>

Eamon: <abruptly ends the snuggly hug> "Now get out of my bed. I have to get some sleep."

Aaaaaand I'm back to just having to enjoy those rare displays of cuddliness!

~School Conversations~

Eamon: "When I grow up, I am not going to USC."

Me: "Why?"

Eamon: "Because you have too much homework."

Me: "You'll have lots of homework no matter where you go to go school."

Eamon: "Not if I'm a paleontologist!"

Me: "You'll probably have twice as much homework as me if you're going to be a paleontologist."

Eamon: *pause* "Actually, I'm not going to be a paleontologist.  I'm going to be a mechanic." 

Me: "Mechanics have homework too.  They have to learn to fix and build all kinds of vehicles, new and old."

Eamon: "Well, once I finish school, I am not going back!"

Me: "Ok, well when do you think you'll be done with school?"

Eamon: <with disdain> "After college!" 


I love that he doesn't yet realize college is optional... ;)

~Computer Conversations~

Eamon: *sigh* "You have a lot of homework, mommy.  I haven't even gotten to be on the computer at all day."

Me: "Well, maybe you can get on it tonight while I'm out."

Eamon: "Yesssss!!!"

Me: <chuckling> "You know I'm going out to eat with your librarian.  Are you going to be ok with that?"  [Eamon prefers that I don't socialize with his teachers because in his mind they only exist at school!]

Eamon: "It's ok because Tristan's mom moved to Texas so Ms. Lee can be your friend now.  But you can't have more than one because that's the rule!" 


Along with teachers only existing in school, in Eamon's mind moms can only have one friend. ;)

~Shower Conversations~

<While trimming a few spots of hair that I'd missed the other day>

Eamon: "I know what makes my hair grow so much."

Me: "Really?  What?"

Eamon: "Washing it in the shower."

Me: "Washing your hair makes is what makes it grow?"

Eamon: "Uh-huh. Because I feel it after I get out of the shower and it's longer."

Me: "So you think if you don't wash it anymore, it won't grow?"

Eamon: "Yep. So can I stop showering?"

Me: "Gee, let me think... no."

~Futon Conversations~

<Incredibly loud THUMP and shaking floor>

Me: "What are you doing!?"

Eamon: <totally nonplussed> "I'm falling off the futon. That's what I'm doing."

Me: "Why are you doing that?"

Eamon: "Just because."

Hmm, if that's what this kid is doing for fun, maybe I should get him a Wii... Nah! ;)

~Haircut Conversations~

<While cutting Eamon's hair tonight...>

Eamon: *sigh* "When are you going to get a haircut?"

Me: <wondering how he forgot that I'd just had several inches lopped off today> "Uh, one of these days I guess?"

Eamon: "Good!  And daddy can do it since I don't know how to use the clippers or scissors."

Me: "Why do you think I would let either of you cut my hair?"

Eamon: "Well, you cut our hair.  That's not fair that we can't cut yours!  And how come you get to go to a haircut place and we don't?"

Me: "Because I'm the mom..."

Sometimes it's good to be queen, er, mom!  ;)

~Workout Conversations~

Mark: "Hey, buddy.  Wanna' help me with my workout?"

Eamon: "Sure! Are we going to do 100 crotches?"

Mark: "Um, no, I don't need any more crotches. We'll do crunches later.  Let's do squats."

And this is why you never want to let Eamon plan your workout or you might end up w/ 100 crotches... ;)

~My Little Pony Conversations~

Eamon: "Mommy, do you know what a cutie mark is?"

Me: "Um, like on My Little Ponies?"

Eamon: "Yeah! Well, I should have a cutie mark of tap shoes!" <wildly and without rhythm, beats his feet against the floor>

Me: "You want a tattoo of tap shoes on your butt?"

Eamon: "No!  A cutie mark!"

Me: "Did Rowan show you a lot of My Little Pony videos on the internet today?"

Eamon: "Yep!" <Goes on to describe about two seasons worth of My Little Pony shows in 10 minutes>

Me: "Um, right. So back to the tap dancing. Do you like doing that? Do you want to take some dance lessons?"

Eamon: <with disgust> "No! Dance lessons are for girls!"

Me: *sigh* "Right..."

~Passport Conversations~

Eamon: "Now that I have my passport, we can go to Venice."

Me: "Passport? What passport?"

Eamon: "You know, my 'passport to fun' from Olive Garden?"

Me: "You mean your kids' menu?"

Eamon: "Yeah, now we can go to Venice."

Me: "Wait, I thought you wanted to go to London?"

Eamon: "I do. We'll go to London, then Venice. I like to travel."

Mark: "You do realize that's not a real passport, right?"

Me: "And that even if you had a real passport, it doesn't mean that it's any cheaper to go to those places, right?"

Eamon: "Oh, man!!"

*sigh* If only the Olive Garden kids' menus/passports served as coupons for traveling abroad... ;)

~Weighty Conversations~

<This morning as Eamon was watching TV on the couch, I attempted to pick him up and roll him onto my lap for a quick snuggle and found he was a lot heavier than I expected...>

Eamon: "You can't pick me up, mommy, b/c I'm holding the remote control."

Me: "So...?"

Eamon: "The remote control adds extra weight so now I weigh too much for you to pick up."


Despite the added weight of the remote control, I did finally manage to pick his heavy butt up. ;)

~Sister Conversations~

Before bedtime tonight...

Me: "Eamon, if you wake up w/ a nightmare tonight, I think you should get Rowan up instead of us.  In fact, that's why she's got bunk beds, so you can go sleep in her her room when you have bad dreams!"

Rowan: "And that's why I keep my door locked at night!"

Eamon: "I'll just punch it until it opens. I did it before. I just need to get my boxing gloves..."

~Backyard Conversations~

<While preparing for an early family Easter egg hunt>

Me: "Mark, you really need to go clean the yard [and remove all the 'presents' the dogs have left]."

Mark: <reluctantly> "Ok... Kids you're coming w/ me to help!"

Me: "Eamon, you heard your dad. Go help him look for poop."

Eamon: "Yessss!!! I can look for poop on my rock wall!!!"

Me: <trying not to laugh> "You mean you're going to stand on your rock wall playset and look for poop and tell your dad where it is?"

Eamon: "Yeah! This is going to be so cool!"

Hey, whatever gets him excited about this activity so he'll help is fine w/ me! ;)

~Conversations With Meema~

<While eating out a nearby outdoor shopping center>

Meema: "So what do you want to do today, Eamon?"

Eamon: "Go to the toy store!"

Meema: "Um, I don't know where that is. Let's go do something el..."

Eamon: "You can call mommy. She knows where it is."

Meema: "Oh, I don't want to bother her at work."

Eamon: "I know where it is. It's by a jewelry store."

Meema: "There are lots of jewelry stores here."

Eamon: "Well, we can look it up on the big maps they have."

Meema: "Oh, I guess you're right... <walks over to nearby map> Well, I don't see it on here..."

Eamon: "It's right there in the B section, see?"

Meema: "Oh. Well, I guess we're going to the toy store."

Moral of the story: Don't get in the way of a kid and his toy store! ;) 

~Spring Break Conversations~

<After a long day of work for me and a long day of spring break for Eamon>

Me: "Hey, buddy! Tell me all about your day! Did you have fun w/ Meema? What did you guys do?"

Eamon: "I'm thirsty."

Me: "Wow, not even a, 'Hi, mom, nice to see you. I had fun. How was your day'?"

Eamon: "Hi, mom. I'm thirsty."

~Ocean Conversations~

<While standing firm against the torrential [1 ft] waves at Kiawah Island>

Eamon: <in his best "This is Sparta!" voice> "THIS IS HOW TOUGH WE ARE!!!"

Me: "SPARTAAAAA!!!!!!"

Eamon: "Ok, we're not that tough."

~Hangman Conversations~

<Playing hangman on the way to the beach w/ Meema>

Meema: "Ok, seven letter word."

Eamon: "Is there an 'L'?"

Meema: "No!"

Eamon: "America!  Is the word America?!"

Meema: "...?!? Wha...?! How...?!"

Eamon: <big grin>

I guess that's what Meema gets for being a patriot: it's not hard to guess what word she picks for "hangman!" :)  

~Beach Trip Conversations~

<While trying to get in those last few Z's, I hear a knocking on the bedroom door...>

Mark: "Morning, buddy."

Eamon: "It's Sunday. Can I get on the computer?!"

Me: "Honey, no, we're going to be leaving for the beach shortly and we need to hurry."

Eamon: "Awww, but I'd rather play on the computer!"

Me: "You'd rather stay home all day and play on the computer than go to the beach w/ me and Meema?"

Eamon: "Yes."

<Mark, who was looking forward to having the house all to him self today, quickly put an end to that idea!>

~Driving Conversations~

Eamon: "Are we almost there?"

Me: "We should be there in about ten minutes."

Eamon: "Ok, I'll count the seconds... to myself." <I've finally trained him not to do it out loud!>

Me: "That's fine but you know that means counting 600 seconds."

Eamon: "What?! That'll take too long. I'm just going to count to a million instead."

Me: "Uhh, you know a million is bigger than 600 right?"

Eamon: "Yeah, but it will still take less time."

Me: "Ok, whatever."

Eamon: <no more than three minutes later> "Ok, I'm done counting to a million. How come we're still not there?!"

Me: "Are you sure you didn't count really fast? Or leave out numbers? Like a lot of numbers?"

Eamon: "No, I counted all the way to a million really slow like this: one... two... three..."

Me: "Ok, whatever."

~Art Conversations~

Me: "Wow, I love this flower picture you did, sweetie!"

Eamon: "Those aren't flowers."

Me: "Oh. Um, well, can you tell me about your drawing then...?"

Eamon: "It's a picture of flying guys w/ no arms."

Me: "What?!  Ok, I guess I can see that for the drawing on the left but this one on the right is clearly the petals of a flower."

Eamon: "Those aren't flower petals. That's one flying guy exploding, mom!"

Marti: <stunned silence>

Mark: "Oh, yeah, I can see the body parts flying off in different directions! Nice work, son!"

Marti: <More stunned silence>

Mark: "It's a guy thing, babe."



Flower or flying/exploding guys? You be the judge!

(Please note that due to the light color of the crayons not showing up in the scan, I had to photocopy it very dark and then trace his drawings using dark markers but otherwise, everything is as he drew it)

~Conversations with Dad~

<After Mark telling Eamon that we'll need to do some cleaning tonight and tomorrow>

Eamon: "Why do I have to help?"

Mark: "Because your Meema's coming and she'll beat us w/ a stick if the place is dirty."

Eamon: "She will not!"

Mark: "Ok, she won't beat you with a stick b/c she loves you. But she'll beat me."

Eamon: "Cool!"

Mark: "You want her to beat me w/ a stick?"

Eamon: "Yes!"

~London Conversations~

While discussing Eamon's plans for a dollar he found in his pocket this morning

Eamon: "I'm going to put this dollar in my London bank so we can go to London! What's in London anyway?"

Mark: <in a rush to get ready> "It's just a city in England."

Me: "It's a very famous city with lots of stuff to see and do."

Eamon: "It's famous?  Well, I'm famous too."

Me: "You are?"

Eamon: "Yeah, that blog about me? Now I'm famous." ;)

~Almost-Summer Conversations~

<While discussing that summer is right around the corner>

Eamon: "I don't know why some people like summer."

Me: "Umm, a lot of people like summer b/c they go swimming, get out of school, you know, stuff like that?"

Eamon: "People that like summer must have forgotten about the mosquitoes b/c then they wouldn't like summer if they remembered the mosquitoes."

~Mealtime Conversations~

For letting me have an hour of uninterrupted yoga time, I told Eamon we could go to Moe's for dinner.  And on the way, this is what we discussed...

Me: "Are you ready to have some Moe's tonight?"

Eamon: "It's not nighttime.  It's still daylight."

Me: "Well, yes, but it's 5:30 so that's tonight, evening, dinnertime, whatever!"

Eamon: "Dinnertime?! But I never had lunch yet!"

Me: "Yes, you did! Remember the chicken, potatoes, spinach, and bell pepper?"

Eamon: "Oh, yeah... But you never gave me breakfast!"

Me: "I did too! Don't you remember the peanut butter sandwhich and milk?"

Eamon: "Oh, right."

Me: "And before you start about in-between meals, let me remind you about all the snacks you had!  There was the pasta and the Gogurt and the salami and the pretzels and..."

Eamon: "And lemonade!"

Me: "You had lemonade too? Wow..."

~Missing Dog Conversations~

<While looking for our two dogs who went AWOL during the storm last night...>

Eamon: "This is the worst day ever!"

Me: "Wait, you said yesterday was the worst day ever."

Eamon: "What? No..."

Me: "Yeah, during the storm you said it was the worst day ever."

Eamon: "Oh, right, right. Well, this one is too.

~One of Our Weirder Conversations About Dogs~

Eamon: "Mommy, the dogs keep licking me!"

Me: "Well, they must think you tast good."

Eamon, "No, they don't 'cuz they're made of meat, just like me."

Me: "Okayyyy...??"

Eamon: "They're not tasting me when they lick me, they're giving me kisses."

~Knee Injury Conversations~

As I was picking Eamon up from after-school-care yesterday, he was looking pretty distraught...

Me: "Honey, what's wrong?"

Eamon: <pathetic sniffly voice> "I fell and scraped my knee."

Me: "Oh, well, I see a couple of band-aids on it so I'm sure it will be fine."

Eamon: <really pathetic sniffly voice> "It just hurts so much that <sob!> I think I'm going to have to walk different from now on!" <mild wail>

Me: <looking under multiple band-aids> "Honey, the skin isn't even broken."

Eamon: "Oh."

************Five Minutes Later************

Me: <watching him run around the yard w/ careless abandon> "I see your knee is feeling better?"

Eamon: "Yeah, I took the band-aids off. They were what made it hurt."

Ah, yes, those dangerous pain-inflicting band-aids... ;)

~Morning Chores Conversation~

<As we were getting ready to head out to the car before school>

Me: "Eamon, can you put the dogs up so we can leave?"

Eamon: "Sure.  If you can hold my swords."

Me: "Wha...?! Ok, whatever."

(And despite the fact that the swords were of the foam variety, they still inflicted a slow painful death upon the ironing board before we made it out the door...)

~ There's Gold in Them Thar' Safety Pins! ~

<As I was prepping clothing for a recent consignment sale, safety pins were scattered on the floor around me, leading to the following conversation>

Eamon: "Mommy, look!  Gold safety pins! Can I have them to put in my piggy bank?"

Me: "Uh, I guess so but why do you want to do that?

Eamon: "They're gold!  I'm going save them so we can go to London one day!"

Me: "Honey, they're not worth anything b/c they're not real gold."

Eamon: "Well, I think they are so I'm putting them in my piggy bank."

***** LATER*****

Eamon: "Daddy, look at the gold safety pins mommy gave me!  I'm saving them in my piggy bank for London."

Mark: "Buddy, those aren't made of real gold."

Eamon: "Oh, ok."  

~The Continuing Saga of the Recorder Conversation~

Me: <after trying to have a conversation over recorder music> "Ooh, Eamon, why don't you go play your recorder outside for Max & Ziggy! You can be the pied piper of the dogs! They'll love it!"

Me: <after he came back inside> "So did they like your music?"

Eamon: "Well, they didn't clap..."

~Recorder Conversation Pt. 2~

Eamon: "This is so cool that I have TWO instruments now!"

Me: <half joking> "Maybe you could learn to play them at the same time?"

Eamon: "How could I play the drums and the recorder at the same time? B/c I need two hands for both of them. Oh, I know! I'll build two mechanical arms and attach them to my spine and use them to play one of the instruments! I just need to figure out how to build the mechanical arms..."

Me: "Or I was gonna' say that you could just use your feet to work the foot pedal and your hands for the recorder..."

Eamon: "Nah, I'll just build the mechanical arms."

~Conversation Concerning Eamon's New Recorder~

<Background: The bad news was that  Eamon was given a recorder (the musical instrument) while at my office today and insisted on playing it as much and as loudly as possible for the last 2+ hours of the work day.

The good news was that as much as he's been banging it on every hard surface he can find, dropping it, and poking it into shrubbery, it shouldn't last longer than a day or two!>

Eamon: <after a long-winded performance in the car> "Wasn't that good, mom?"

Me: "Uh, well, I think it was really good for someone who's never played the recorder before. And you'll get better w/ practice. And maybe we can find recorder playing instructions online..."

Eamon: "But I don't NEED to practice b/c I'm already really good."

Imagine 45 minutes of this...

~St. Patrick's Day Conversation Between Father & Son~

Eamon: "Dad, why are you wearing a skirt?"

 Mark: "It's not a skirt, son, it's a kilt. When you're older, I'll buy you one too b/c they're very manly."

 Eamon: "No, they're really not." ;)