~Relative Conversations~

In our house, the excitement over Mema and Aunt Erica's arrival is rivaled only by that of Santa on Christmas morning.  Last night was such a night so this morning Eamon couldn't wait to go see his so-called present...

Eamon:  "So can I wake up Aunt Erica now?"

Me:  "No, it's too early.  Let her sleep."

After asking that question every 10 minutes for over an hour...

Eamon:  "Can I wake up Aunt Erica NOW?"

Me:  "Well, it is after 9am.  Ok, I guess that will be fine.  But wake her gentl... <suddenly noticing Eamon stalking toward Aunt Erica's room with a 3 foot light saber> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

Eamon:  <innocently>  "I'm just going to wake her up."

Me:  "I said to wake her gently!  Put the light saber down."

Eamon:  <sigh>  "Okay."

~Sharp Conversations~

While driving past Eamon's elementary school today...

Me:  <concerned> "Why does your school's bill board say 'Sharpen your saw during the break'?"

Eamon:  "It just means to stay smart."

Me:  "Really?  Like in what way?  Is it a play on the word "saw" as in the things you see and take in is what needs to stay sharp or..."

Eamon:  "It's your brain."

Me:  "Your saw is your brain?"

Eamon:  "Um, I don't really know.  It's confusing."

Me:  "Yeah, I'll say."

After doing a little Googling, I found out that to "sharpen the saw" is Habit #7 of Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which the school district is all but having tattooed on everyone's foreheads. But what was funny to me is that another mom and I were just talking about this educational lingo that the teachers use on the kids and how they absorb it in a way that has nothing to do with the actual meaning of the word.  For example, the teachers keep telling the kids to be "proactive" in their behavior and now my friend's son thinks the word means to be quiet.  So now Eamon thinks that "saw" is another word for brain.  Awesome.  :P  

~Humorous Conversations~

While lounging around the house this morning...

Me:  <giggling at a book I was reading>

Eamon:  "What?  What are you laughing at?"

Me:  "Just this book.  The author's really funny."

Eamon:  "Oh.  Humor?"

Me:  <surprised by his odd comment> "Um, yes, it's very humorous..."

Eamon:  <nodding to himself seriously>  "Thought so."

And in case you're interested in checking out the book that gave me 

a serious case of the humor, here it is!

goo.gl/edVHMX

~Manger Conversations~

While taking a brief break from building the awesome Lego Rancor Pit from his G-daddy while listening to an old John Denver Christmas Special record...

Me:  <laughing>  I love that you're dancing to "Away in the Manger!"

Eamon:  <indignantly> "What?!  I was not dancing!"

Me:  "Yes, you were!  What else would you call what you were doing?"

Eamon:  "Strutting."

Me:  "Oh, really?"

Eamon:  "Yes.  And I wasn't strutting to that.  I didn't even hear that."

Me:  "Uh-huh..."

Christmas 2013 so far...  

pretty good way to spend the hoidays I'd say! ;) 

~Holiday Conversations~

And now for something completely different for the holiday season, some non-Eamon conversations! ;) 

While doing errands witht the family Sunday afternoon...

Mark:  "Wait, where are you going?  We're supposed to be going to World Market, Target, and back home."

Me:  <hesitantly>  "Well, there are a few things I need at Wal-mar..."

Mark:  "No!  We're not going to Wal-mart on a Sunday afternoon."

Me:  "But we're so close!  And there a few things we need that I can only get from there."

Mark:  "Babe, I love you but not enough to go to Wal-mart on a Sunday afternoon."

Me:  "When do you love me enough to go to Wal-mart?"

Mark:  "Our love is more of a 3 a.m. quick trip to Wal-mart in the middle of the night kind of love."

Me:  *sigh*  "Fine.  We'll just go to Target then."

And a husband-wife conversation overheard at World Market that same day...

As the cashier is handing a yard o' chocolate package to the wife and a case of small champagne and assorted alcohol bottles to the husband...

Wife:  <giggling>  "I've got the chocolate!  I've definitely got the better end of this deal!"

Husband:  <stoically>  "You can keep the chocolate.  I have all the alcohol."  

Wife:  <still giggling>  "Well, I have the car keys!"

Husband:  <dead pan voice>  "Fine, leave me.  I'm just going to start drinking." 

That conversation really amused me because I think I've had that same conversation with Mark at some point! ;) 

~Kindled Conversations~

While driving home from Tae Kwon Do...

Eamon:  "Mommy, can I read on your Kindle?"

Remembering that in addition to the kid books - and other various titles - on the Kindle, that I'd checked out some romance e-books from the library....

Me:  "Um, sure.  But just go to your books because there are a few non-kid books on there."

Eamon:  <disgustedly>  "I know.  And they're horrible."

Me:  "They're not horrible.  They just involve some kissing."

Eamon:  "I know!  That's what makes them horrible. <with even more disgust if possible>  I can tell from the picture on the covers."


Wow, if only I could keep him in that mindset... ;) 

~Pocketed Conversations~

While driving home from my school's VERY frosty holiday parade in which Eamon got to ride on a firetruck...

Me:  "Were you warm enough?  Because I was FREEZING!"

Eamon:  "Yeah, I was pretty warm, except my hands got cold."

Me:  "Oh, no.  They were cold even though you put them in your pockets?  Because you didn't have to wave the whole time you were on the firetruck.  You could have put them in your pockets."

Eamon:  <solemnly>  "I don't have pockets."

Me:  "What?!  That's a brand new jacket.  I'm sure it has pockets!"

Eamon:  "Nope, no pockets."

Me:  "Hmm..."

Five minutes later after parking the car and reaching into the backseat for the jacket which of course my frosty-handed son was not wearing...

Me:  "There are TOO pockets in this jacket!  Two of them in fact..."

Eamon:  "Oh.  Those.  Those aren't pockets.  That's just wear I store my mittens."

Me:  <gasping>  "There are mittens in here too?!  You had pockets AND mittens and your hands were cold because you didn't use either?!"

Eamon:  "I forgot about the mittens and that I was keeping them in there."

Me:  "You mean the pockets?  Because these 'mitten-storage containers' are also known as pockets."


He'll never admit his mistake now that I've caught him in this glaring oversight.  Henceforth, Eamon's pockets shall always be known as "mitten-storage containers." ;) 

~Mortifying Conversations~

Today was a memorable day in which a whole new level of parental embarrassment was achieved...

Today Eamon's Tae Kwon Do teacher had to stop class to address Eamon's flatulence.  In the end - pun intended - he finally entreated Eamon to, "...just go ahead and let it all out, man.  Otherwise, I'm afraid you might explode.  And at least this way maybe your mom will be willing to let you in the car after class."  As I was covering my face, which was burning with shame, Eamon was maniacally giggling and passing gas, as eight year old boys are wont to do in such situations.  Oh, and should I mention that his classmates were covering their noses with their doboks?  *sigh*  

~Treed Conversations~

After a "traumatic" dodge ball incident at after-school care today in which Eamon got tagged out in the first round and then picked up by me before he had the chance to redeem himself...

Eamon:  <sobbing>

ME:  "Dude, it happens.  You'll get to play again tomorrow and I'm sure you'll tag plenty of people out. No worries."

Eamon:  <SOBBING!>

Me:  <sigh>  "Ok, whatever.  Look, when we get home, I need you to let the dogs out and then... just hang out with them until you're over this and ready to come back inside."

A few minutes after arriving home...

Ziggy (one of our dogs):  <emphatically glaring at me through the back door> "Rowr, rowr, roooowrrrr, ROWRRR!  Rowr, rowr, roooowrrrr, ROWRRR!"  [I should mention that Ziggy does this rumbly growly grumble thing at us that, today, roughly translated to:  'Come collect your noisome whingeing offspring because he is disturbing our peaceful sanctuary.']

Me:  <looking through the back door window and noticing Eamon hanging upside down out of his favorite tree, while still wailing like a banshee, causing me to go investigate>  "Really?!  You're still crying over this?  Quit it!  Ohmygod, you're upsetting the dogs!  Seriously, Ziggy just ran away to hide in the dog house and Max won't come out either!"  <starting to laugh hysterically over the absurdity of the whole thing>

Eamon:  <also starting to laugh hysterically but trying desperately to turn it back into wailing>

Ziggy:  <from the safety of the dog house>  "Rowr, ROWRRR, rowr, roooowrrrr!  Rowr, rowwwwr, roooowrrrr, ROWRRR!"  [Roughly translated to:  'How am I supposed to do my business when he's monopolizing the tree?!']

Me:  "You have three seconds to get it together or I'm going to eat all the brownies AND you won't get to watch 'Wild Kratts' on PBS."

Eamon:  <sniffing valiantly while running inside>  "I'm fine now."

Me:  "Yeah, I thought so..."  


Ahh, parenting at its finest. ;)

our "talkative" puppy, Ziggy

our "scaredy cat," Max

 

and our "traumatized" little boy...

~Crazed Conversations~

Not your regularly scheduled Eamon conversation!  This is while my co-worker was trying to put her finger on a certain incident that happened recently in the library...

Co-worker:  <laughing> "What was it that kid called you?"

Me:  "Um, racist?"

Co-worker:  <still laughing>  "No, not the girl.  The boy.  What did he call you?"

Me:  "Oh, ignorant!"

Co-worker:  <laughing harder>  "No!  The other one!  He said you were... something?"

Me:  "You mean the one that kept calling me 'officer' like it was an insult?"

Co-worker:  <getting exasperated>  "No!  The one last week that said you were... ?"

Me:  "Oh!  The kid that said I was 'trippin.'!"

Co-worker:  <excitedly>  "Yes!  That's it!  'You're 'trippin,' Ms. Brown'!"  <laughing again> 

Me:  "Yes, I am quite often tripping... over things." ;)   

Note:  My co-worker was only laughing so hard at this because she has been called MUCH worse during her 20+ years of teaching.  Trippin,' racist, officer, and ignorant aren't even on the insult radar for teachers!    

~Booked Conversations~

Heard 'round the breakfast table this morning...

Eamon:  "Where there are books, there is mommy!"

I was so touched by his observation, I don't even remember what preceeded it! Of course my place at the table IS surrounded by piles of books so... ;)  

Heard shortly AFTER breakfast...

Eamon:  "When's lunch?"

Me:  "Dude, it's 8:58 A.M."

Eamon:  "Oh."

<later>

Eamon:  "Is it time for lunch now?"

Me:  "It's 9:02 AM!"  

Eamon:  "So it's only been four minutes?  It seems like it's been a lot longer."  

Both of us:  *sigh* 

~Nutty Conversations~

This morning...

Eamon:  "Hey, do you know how they get the m&m's in the yellow bags to taste nutty?"

Me:  <deciding to go with the obvious>  "I don't know, because they put peanuts in them?"

Eamon:  "Yep, that's how they do it."

Me:  <cracking up>

Eamon:  "What?  What's so funny?"

Me:  "I thought you were going to tell me a joke or something I didn't expect.  Of course the m&m's in the yellow bags taste nutty because they put peanuts in them.  They're called peanut m&m's for a reason."

Eamon:  "Ohhh...."

~Sweet Conversations~

On Halloween...

Me:  "Hey, this flier says that your dentist's office is having a candy swap tomorrow night!  You take your unopened candy in and they'll pay a dollar a pound for it, max up to five pounds.  What do you think?"  

Eamon:  <thoughtfully> "Really?  Well, I have been wanting to save up to buy an R2-D2 robot..."

Me:  "You realize you woudn't get a whole lot of money for this, right?  The most you'll get is $5."

Eamon:  "What?  But if you get a dollar a piece then..."  

Me:  "No!  You get a dollar per POUND of candy.  It takes a lot of candy to make a pound but you could make some money off of this and still have some candy to..."

Eamon:  <open-mouthed horrified expression>    

Me:  "Uhh, I take it you don't want to do this..."

Eamon:  <open-mouthed horrified expression>    

Me:  "Okay, then nevermind."

~Hallucinatory Conversations~

After eating dinner - the first time...

Eamon:  <excitedly> "I can't wait until it's time to eat again!"

Me:  "You just had dinner about an hour ago."

Eamon:  "I know!  But that curry was SO good!"

Me:  "I asked if you wanted seconds and you said you wanted to wait...!?"

Eamon:  "I know but it's going to taste SO good when I eat it again and watch Agents of Shield!"

Me:  "Okay..."

Eamon:  "Remember that episode of 'Avatar' when Sokka was hallucinating from drinking too much cactus juice?"

Me:  <wondering where this is going> "Yes...?"

Eamon:  "Well, I think I'm hallucinating."

Me:  "You're having food hallucinations?!  What is causing these food hallucinations?"

Eamon:  <joyously> "Just how much I like to eat.  I just can't stop thinking about it!"


So on the one hand, I'm no longer regretting spending $13 for a jar of 'authentic' curry since it made my kid actually like curry - even though his was mostly rice - but on the other, I'm totally dreading the teenage years and the hit my wallet is going to take in order to feed him if he's already eating two dinners and 'hallucinating' about food in between the two! ;) 

The curry sauce that turned my kid onto curry. 

And caused his food hallucinations? ;)

~Pokey Conversations~

While carving pumpkins this weekend...

Eamon:  "I like poking things."

Rowan:  <laughing>

Me:  "Okayyyy...?"

Eamon:  "I especially like poking pumpkins."

Me:  "So you like poking things other than pumpkins too?"

Eamon:  <matter of factly>  "Yeah, people."

Me:  "Of course you do..."

~Favorite Conversations~

While watching morning cartoons...

Eamon:  "My favorite part of the day is breakfast.  And lunch and dinner too.

Me:  <sarcastically> "What a surprise..."

Eamon:  "Unless the food is horrible."

Me:  "If the food is horrible, then what's your favorite part of the day?"

Eamon:  "Breakfast."

Me:  "What if the breakfast food is horrible?"

Eamon:  "It never is."


Hmm, I think it's time to start feeding this kid broccoli for breakfast... ;)

~Relative Conversations~

After running to the public library and then on the way to the grocery store ...

Eamon:  "Are you sure it's still even open?"

Me:  "Oh, yeah.  It's definitely open."

Eamon:  "How do you know?"

Me:  "I know everything."

Eamon:  "Oh, yeah?  Well, what does E equal?"

Me:  "E equals M C squared."  (E = MC2)

Eamon:  "Wrong!  E = MC TWO squares!"

Me:  "No, the TWO you're referring to is the squared part.  E = MC2."

Eamon:  "Oh."

Me:  "So how do you even know about E and what it equals?"

Eamon:  "Math."

Me:  "No way you're studying Einstein's theory of relativity in third grade math!?"

Eamon:  "Well, in ALERT [i.e. honors]."

Me:  "Oh, honors 3rd grade math.  Well, that totally makes sense then."

Eamon:  "Yeah, and we're learning about inventions too!  I think the ones from the old days are the best."

Me:  "Yeah, which ones are those?"

Eamon:  "You know, the ones from the old days.  When they lived in huts with thatched roofs."

Me:  "Um, ok... Can you give me an example?"

Eamon:  "Well, you know, like the steam cannon?  That's awesome!"

Me:  "Yes, projectiles are awesome... But let's not forget about the awesome inventions of our time like computers..."

My little mad scientist... ;) 

~Special Conversations~

Ok, this is not an Eamon conversation but it's just as funny!  This took place at our library during story time with our special needs students.  

Co-Librarian:  "Ok, now this book is about a spider and a fly.  Now I know you all know what happens with spiders and flies but don't be one of those people who shouts out the ending..."

Girl:  <shouting with excitement> "The old lady! That's what happens with the spider and the fly!  The old lady!"

Co-Librarian:  <laughing hysterically>  "Honey, didn't I say not to shout out the ending?  But it's OK because that's a different story than the one I'm about to rea..."

Boy:  <pointing at both of us purposefully>  "I see TWO old ladies."

Teacher:  <whpeisring fervently>  "That is a very rude thing to say!  Do not call the librarians old ladies!"

It's actually kind of a miracle that we got through story time because my co-librarian and I were laughing so hard!  ;)  

~Willowy Conversations~

While watching the end of the old movie "Willow" with Eamon...

At the part where Airk dumps boiling oil on the bad soldiers - 

Eamon:  "Why are they screaming about having water dumped on them?"

Me:  "It's not water, it's boiling oil."

Eamon:  "Well, they shouldn't have left their boiling oil there anyway."

Me:  "No, that wasn't a kitchen accident.  During sieges, the castle guards would pour boiling oil, pitch, things like that on the attackers to keep them out.  He did that on purpose to stop the bad guys."

Eamon:  "Oh."

At the part where Bavmorda knocks over the potions & gets struck by lightning - 

Eamon:  "What's happening?"

Me:  "She knocked the potions onto herself so the evil spell that was meant for the baby actually worked on her instead."

Eamon:  "Well, at least she knows now that the spell works."

At the part where Willow finally makes it home and sees his family again - 

Eamon:  "Who's that?"

Me:  "That's his wife Kiaya and their kids."

Eamon:  "What?! I didn't think he was full grown to have a family."


Well, I guess that's going to be a whole different conversation... ;)  

~Hair-Razing Conversations~

While watching an ad for a certain depilatory device on TV...

Eamon:  "Ooh!  We should get that for daddy!"

Me:  "You really think so?"

Eamon:  "Yeah, because it's not a razor and it's not a laser!  It's the number one hair removal system."

Me:  "I see.  Well, what hair do you think he should use it on?"

Eamon:  "All of them.  He's really hairy."

Me:  <trying not to choke with laughter>

Eamon:  "I bet Rowan would like it too so she wouldn't get razor burn."


Thoughful but completely gullible!  We'd better keep this kid away from QVC... ;)  


Update:  This actually reminds me of when Eamon was about 4 or 5 and had just seen an ad for a hair straightening iron for African-American women...

Eamon:  "Mommy, I NEED one of those!"

Me:  "Why?!"

Eamon:  <patting his blonde crew cut suspiciously>  "So I can have the right kind of hair!"

~Ethical Conversations~

While discussing Eamon's new plans to add another dog breed to the menagerie of pets he's planning to have when he's an adult...

Eamon:  "Water dogs are awesome!  Even though you have to exercise them for at least an hour a day and groom them three times a week.  I already have a schedule worked out.  Monday, Wednesday, and Friday!"

Me:  <wanting to tease him about the schedule>  "Wednesdays, huh?  Well, that won't work because you have Tae Kwon Do every Wednesday."

Eamon:  <not totally realizing that his adult schedule might be a little different than it is now> "Well, maybe I'll be a blackbelt by then."

Me:  "Well, even if you're a blackbelt, you still have to practice."

Eamon:  "Uhh, am I missing something?"

Me:  "What do you mean?"

Eamon:  "If I'm a blackbelt, I won't have to do it anymore."

Thus leading to a discussion about our education never really being over because there's always something we can learn, no matter what profession were' in...

Eamon:  "Well, when I'm a scientist and invent my Cat-Ci ray, I won't need to learn anything else."

Me:  "Your what?!"

Eamon:  "Cat-Ci.  You know, half cat, half cacti.  I'll shoot a cat and a cactus with my ray and make a Cat-Ci."  

Me:  "What?!  What about the poor cat that gets turned into a cactus?!"

Eamon:  "It will still be alive."

Me:  "But it won't be able to move.  I don't think that'd be a very happy life for it."

Eamon:  "Hmm, never thought of that.  Ok, I'll shoot a cat and a cactus with my ray and turn it into a Cat-Ci and then I'll just take a few seeds and turn them both back and then plant the Cat-Ci seeds to grow more.  That way, the cat will be fine, just missing a little hair."

I don't know if I should be impressed with his logic or disturbed by it... ;)

Update after showing him the picture I posted above.

Eamon:  "Oh, man!"

Me:  "What?"

Eamon:  <looking disappointed>  "Someone already did it."

Me:  <laughing>  "No!  No one stole your idea of using a ray gun to cross a cat and a cactus.  That picture was done in photoshop."

Eamon:  <brightening>  "Oh!  Anyway, mine will look different than that."  

For the past few years he's been attending an after school science program called "Mad Science" and I'm starting to think that they need to focus less on the "Mad" part of the program... ;) 

~Chromebook Conversations~

While discussing the Chromebooks (internet-based laptops) Eamon's classroom just got today...

Me:  "So tell me about the chromebooks.  Did anyone drop one yet?  Did you do any work on them?"

Eamon:  "No, no one dropped one.  And we only took our pictures with them so far and then put them up."

Me:  "So no classwork or research on them?"

Eamon:  "Research is in libraries on books not computers!  Because books have everything and computers don't!"

Hmm, apparently he has been paying attention to my books vs. computers rants!  I'll break it to him later that physical books do have their limitations but for now I just want to bask in the smug pride for my kid's love of real books. ;)  

~Culinary Conversations~

While watching Saturday morning TV...

Eamon:  "Mommy!  Quick!  I need some paper!"

Me:  "Ok..." <hands him a notepad>

Eamon:  "Thanks!"

Me:  "What for?"

Eamon:  <silently but empahtically points to the TV which is turned to the Martha Stewart PBS cooking show>

After a few minutes of attempting to write down what she says...

Eamon:  "Augh!  This is too hard to write!  I'm just going to have to remember it.  <begins repeating after Martha Stewart>  two tablespoons of flour... butter... maple syrup... Ooh!  Now she's making espresso chocolate glaze!  <frowns thoughtfully> Wait, how old do you have to be to have coffee?"

Me:  "Well, there's not really a certain age.  You could have coffee now but it would probably make you really hyper."

Eamon:  "Hmm, I think I'll wait until I'm 12."

Me:  <laughing>  "What, is 12 the magic age to have coffee?"

Eamon:  <seriously>  "Yes.  Well, for me it is.  Hey, when I'm 12, maybe Rowan will be the manager of a cooking place and she can make those eclairs with espresso glaze!"


If I got even half excited as he does about cooking and recipes, my family would eat a lot better than we do... ;)  

~Familial Conversations~

While discussing Eamon's class project and his classmates' reactions to it...

Eamon:  "Everyone thought that picture of us in Texas with Tristan and his mom and brother was a family picture!"

Me:  <laughing> "What did they mean?  Like that Miss Chevon and I were married and you all were our kids or that we were sisters and you and Tristan were cousins...?"  

Eamon:  <shrugs> "I dunno'.  They just thought we were family, like maybe Tristan was my brother."

Me:  "Well, there are all types of families so we could be family, like instead of being Miss Chevon, she could be your Crazy Aunt Chevon!"  (Because you have to be at least a little crazy to be in our family!;)

Eamon:  <pensively> "Yeah, she is a little crazy.  She doesn't even like milk!"  


Leave it to my family to judge mental health by ones' feelings toward milk... ;)

~Weekend & Holiday Conversations~

While watching Saturday morning cartoons...

Eamon:  "So I'm going to grow up and be a scientist, you know, creator of the future and I'm going to be a pizza maker too."

Me:  "Uh-huh..."

Eamon:  "And I'm going to become the boss of the pizza thing so I'm going to do the pizza making on the week and the scientst thing on the weekend and holidays."

Me:  "So what made you decide all this right now?"

Eamon:  "I didn't.  I was always going to be a pizza maker and scientist."

Me:  "No, what made you decide that you'd be a pizza maker during the week and a scientist on weekends and holidays."

Eamon:  <shrugs>  "I don't know."

~Homework Conversations~

While walking Eamon out of school today...

Me:  "Do you have any homework today?"

Eamon:  "Nope, no homework again today!"

Me:  <in a mock serious voice>  "What!?  I'm going to have to talk to your teacher.  You need homework - lots of it!  Especially over the weekend..."

Eamon:  "Hey!"

Me:  "What?  You're the one that said you want to be really smart when you grow up.  You're going to need lots of homework to get there."

Eamon:  "Well, I am going to be really smart.  And I do love science."

Me:  "Oh, good!  Because Ms. Carroll* and I have decided you're going to be a doctor when you grow up, preferably a surgeon, so you will need to study a lot of science."

Eamon:  "I don't want to be a doctor.  I want to be a scientist."

Me:  "What kind of scientist? Because you could be a doctor and a scientists."

Eamon:  "Remember? I'm going to be the inventor of the future!  I'm going to invent stuff like cars that you can hold in your hand and then when you push a button, they're going to turn regular size."

Me:  "Awesome.  Sounds like it will pay well."


*Ms. Carroll is my co-librarian and she has already decided that Eamon will be a surgeon - and marry the scarily-intelligent 7 year old daughter of one of our other co-workers... ;)

~Kindle Conversations~

While attempting to set up my new Kindle, which I'd just received in the mail...

Eamon:  <slyly>  "So, does it have any games on...?"

Me:  "NO!  There are no games on this!  It's for reading books only!"

Eamon:  "Oh."

Me:  "I mean it!  Books, books, and more books!  If it's not a book, you can't even think about it!" 

Eamon:  <amused>  "Ok, mommy."

Me:  "And by the way, I got this pink case for the Kindle just so you and your dad wouldn't steal it."

Eamon:  <now looking at the case with interest>  "Nah, daddy'll still take it."

Darn it!  The kid is right! ;) 

~Dad Conversations~

While prepping for bedtime...

Eamon:  "Can you come downstairs with me?"

Mark:  "No, I'm busy.  You're fine; you don't need me to come with you."

Eamon:  "But I'm scared."

Mark:  "There's nothing to be scared of.  Just go."

Eamon:  "But if you come with me, I'll get to spend more time with you, Daddy!"


How sneaky is that?! ;)

~Needled Conversations~

While discussing Rowan and Eamon's mutual distaste for shots...

Eamon:  "I hate getting shots.  I'm glad I don't have to get any more until I'm eleven."

Rowan:  "Yeah, I HATE needles!"

Mark:  "When I was in boot camp, they gave us multiple shots all at once but not with a regular needle.  I think it had a small needle but it was kind of like a gun too.  See the scar here?  It hurt.  And bled all over the place."

Eamon:  <looking distressed>  "Well, guess where I'm not going when I grow up."

Me:  "Where?"

Eamon:  "Boot camp!"

~Questionable Conversations~

Before bedtime...

Eamon:  "I'm glad watermelon doesn't have any sugar in it."

Me:  "No, watermelon does have sugar in it."

Eamon:  "It does? But I thought it was healthy."

Me:  "It is healthy for you because it has a natural kind of sugar found in lots of fruit.  It's definitely better for you than the white sugar that gets added to a lot of other stuff."

Eamon:  "What about milk?  Does that have sugar in it?"

Me:  "Well, lots of foods have natural sugars in them and that's ok but it's foods that have added artificial sugar that we have to watch out for.  Milk is ok though."

Eamon:  "Ok.  Sorry I'm asking lots of questions.  I just want to be really smart when I grow up." 

And then my heart melted.... (;

~Dreamy Conversations~

After Eamon crawled into bed with me because he had bad dreams...

Eamon:  <sniffling>  "I had THREE nightmares!"

Me:  "Do you want to talk about them?"

Eamon:  "No, they're too horrible."

Me:  "Ok.  You know I had a bad dream this morning too."

Eamon:  "About what?"

Me:  "I had to pay this bill for a campsite that I hadn't really used and I didn't think it was fair."

Eamon:  "Why are kid nightmares so much worse than grownup nightmares?"


He has no idea... ;)

~Invisible Conversations~

While leaving Dollar Tree because I was unable to find Eamon's school supply list which I KNOW I put in my purse! 

Eamon:  "Maybe someone stole it."

Me:  "You think someone stole your school supply list without me noticing?"

Eamon:  "Well, maybe an invisible person..."

Me:  "So an invisible person stole your school supply list out of my purse?"

Eamon:  "It could happen."


At least we gave the two teenage boys walking out of Dollar Tree at the same time a really good laugh! ;) 

~Ticklish Conversations~

While watching Saturday morning cartoons...

Eamon:  "You know... I haven't had a good tickle lately."

Mark:  "I'm reading right now.  I'll tickle you later, when you're not expecting it."

Five seconds later...

Eamon:  "Ok, it's later and I'm not expecting it now."


I'm not sure he understands how this works... ;)

~Conversation with Ziggy~

Today's conversation was with Ziggy, our 5 yr old melodramatic Husky mix...

Me:  "Ziggy!  Want a treat? Come here!"

Ziggy:  <ambles over looking slightly interested>

Me:  "Ok, shake!  <I reach out my hand toward her> Come on, Ziggy, SHAKE!"

Ziggy:  <looks at me apathetically and remains motionless>

Me:  "Ziggy!  You know how to do this!  Come on, shake!"

Ziggy:  <slowly puts out her front paw and then promptly falls over as if she can't possibly balance on just 3 paws>

And lest you think that Ziggy is disabled or ailing, let me assure you that within minutes she was sprinting at top speed across the yard and doing doggy acrobatics trying to destroy those evil yard invaders known as S.Q.U.I.R.R.E.L.S!   ;)

~Fast Conversations~

While eating lunch today...

Eamon:  "Mommy, I have something to tell you."

Me:  "Ok."

Eamon:  "I was the smartest one in my 2nd grade class and I was the 3rd fastest."

Me:  <surprised at that out-of-the-blue revelation>  "Oh, really?  How did you know you were the smartest?"

Eamon:  "I forgot."

Sounds about right... ;)

~Conversations ABOUT Eamon~

After receiving some cryptic standardized test results from Eamon's school, I decided to take them to work with me to see if my coworker could decipher them...

Me:  "Hey, Eamon got some standardized test scores back but I can't make heads or tails of them.  Will you take a look?"

Kathy:  "I'm really only familiar with the high school tests, not the elementary ones."

Me:  "I know but you've been in the district longer than me so I just thought it might make more sense to you."

Kathy:  "Well, I'll look but I doubt that I... <unfolding the paper> OH. MY. GOD!!"

Me:  "What?  WHAT?!  Is that bad or good!?"

Kathy:  "Um, yeah, see the black bars on the bar graph?"

Me:  "The tall ones?"

Kathy:  "Yeah, the tall bars that are AT LEAST TEN POINTS HIGHER than all the other bars?  Yeah, that's your child. The other bars are the norms for kids his age."

Me:  "Oh.  Really? Well, I thought he'd done well but I didn't just want to assum..."

Kathy:  <laughing> "Yeah, right!  As if you didn't know!  You brought this in so you could brag about how smart your child is!  Speaking of which, is that him over the in the corner of the library!?  I didn't even know he was here!  I can't believe he's just quietly sitting over there reading!"

Me:  "Yeah, well, you know how he loves our Pokemon graphic novels."

Kathy:  "Ok, it's official:  you have the perfect child."

Me:  "Well, I wouldn't go that far!  He has his moments.  I mean, just this morning he was..."  

Kathy:  <laughing>  "No, no!  I don't care what you tell me.  He's the perfect child and if you tell me anything different, I'll just say that he's expressing his creativity or that he was experimenting or that his genius just couldn't be contained..."  

Fast forward several hours as Eamon and I were heading out of the library and instead of just walking toward the door, Eamon had to belly crawl under one of the display tables...

Me:  <looking at Kathy and then pointing at Eamon>  "See?  This is what I'm talking about!  He couldn't just walk to the door like a normal person.  No, my child has to crawl like an animal..."

Kathy:  "No, that boy is not crawling, he's preparing to be a Navy SEAL or... or a J.A.G.*!  Mmhmm, that's what he's doing.  He's going to be a lawyer in the military."  

Me:  <laughing>  "Ok, that must be it."

*J.A.G. refers to a legal representative in the military

Poor Kathy has dealt with so many bad kids in her 20 years of teaching that she doesn't know what to do with a normal one! ;) But as a mother, I do appreciate her confidence in my son's ability! :) 

 

~Toothy Conversations~

Ok, this is more of a follow up to the last post rather than a conversation with Eamon. Sorry for the change in format but I wanted to give everyone an update. :)

When Eamon left for school on Wednesday morning, he had no top front teeth. After taking on playground equipment mouth first late Wednesday morning, I was afraid he might never have front teeth! But apparently a metal pole to the gums was just what he needed to get those puppies out! These kind of playground accidents don't usually have such happy endings but I'm glad this one did! :)

No teeth on Tuesday!

Lots of teeth on Thursday!

~Sciencey Conversations~

While driving home from Tae Kwon Doe last night...

Eamon:  "Did you know that the sun is going to burn out in a thousand years?"

Me:  "Really?  A thousand years, huh?  How do you know?"

Eamon:  "A book."

Me:  "Wow."

Eamon:  "Yep, and nothing on the earth can live for more than a day if the sun is gone!"

Me:  "Yeah, I've heard that."

Eamon:  "So then in nine billion years, when the sun implodes..."

Me:  "Wait!  A few minutes ago you said it only had a thousand years left but then you just said nine billion?"

Eamon:  "Well, it's either a thousand years or nine billion years.  I can't remember."


And this is why you shouldn't base your apocalypse plans on the word of an 8 year old...  ;)

~Sticky Conversations~

After an impromptu visit to the pediatric dentist for some X-rays after a ridiculous playground injury...

Me:  "You put on all three of the stickers they gave you!?  Wha...?  You don't even like stickers!"

Eamon:  <inaudible whispering>

Me:  "What?!"

Eamon:  "It's to cover my bloodiness!"

Me:  <noticing that the 3 large stickers are strategically placed over most of the bloody spots on his navy blue shirt>  "Oh.  Well, that does make sense.  Good job."

PS -  When the pediatrician (note that I did not say 'pediatric dentist' because, yes, we had to go to the pediatrician before the pediatric dentist would even see us) says, "Hey, is all that on your shirt part of your teeth?  Is the dentist going to scrape that off your shirt and put that back in your mouth?" you know that you're just done for the day; nothing productive will happen from then on!! ;) 

~Dinosaur Conversations~

While reading his recent birthday present from Aunt Patsy...

Eamon:  "Well, this proves my scientific theory about the Loch Ness Monster."

Me:  "You have a scientific theory?"

Eamon:  "Yeah."

Me:  "About the Loch Ness Monster?"

Eamon:  "Yeah!  It's a plesiosaurus.  It says so right here in the book and that's what my scientific theory was so it must be true."

Me:  *stunned*

~Random Conversations~

Here are a few non-Eamon conversations I've had in the past few days that were kind of amusing...

At school...

Random Student:  "Hi, I need a computer?"

Me:  "Ok, I need your pass."

RS:  <smiling and shaking his head at me as if I'm confused>  "Oh, no.  See, I'm a Senior."

Me:  "You still need a pass to come in to the library."

RS:  <bewildered>  "But I'm a senior.  I'm done with classes."

Me:  "If you're all done with classes, then you should leave campus."

RS:  <starting to get desperate> "But I'm still enrolled here!"

Me:  <speaking slowly so he can understand the confusing words coming out of my mouth> "If you're still enrolled, then you still need a pass to come into the library during class time."

RS:  <blinking confusedly at me b/c I am immune to his Senior-ness>

Me:  "Sweetie, go to whatever class you're supposed to be in right now and ask your teacher for a pass and then you can come back in to use the computer."

RS:  <dejectedly>  "Oh. Ok."

He did come back with a pass but he brought another Senior with him and that kid was lacking a library pass so I had practically the same conversation all over again!  Augh!  These kids... ;)   

--------------------------------------------------------------------

At home...

Me:  "Mark, have you put in your contacts yet today?"

Mark:  <suspiciously> "Yes.  Why?"

Me:  "You didn't open the new contact solution bottle."

Mark:  "I didn't need any contact solution."

Me:  "What?!  Why not?!"

Mark:  "Because I had enough in the contact lens case.  Why does it matter?"

Me:  <going into full whine mode>  "Because you NEVER open the contact solution bottle.  EVER!  You always leave it for me to do!"

Mark:  "That's not true.  I've opened it plenty of times."

Me:  "Fine.  If you've opened it plenty of times then you won't mind doing it now."

Mark:  "You really want me to open it?"

Me:  "Yes!"

Mark:  "Fine.  <gets the bottle; struggles with the bottle>  Geez, this is hard to do.  I see why don't like doing it..."

Me:  "I KNEW IT!!  I KNEW YOU'VE NEVER OPENED IT BEFORE!  Because if you had, you'd have known what a pain in the butt it is to open that stupid bottle!"

Mark:  <grins sheepishly at me>


All I can is it's a good thing for him that he's cute... ;)
 

~Evolving Birthday Conversations~

Two weeks ago while at Publix...

Eamon:  "Oooh, Mommy!  Can I have that cake for my birthday?"

Me:  <looking for some supposedly-edible monstrosity of icing and toys and not seeing one> "What cake are you talking about?"

Eamon:  "That one!  The chocolate one with the hole in it!"

Me:  "The bundt cake?  The one with no icing at all, just some glaze?"

Eamon:  "Yeah!  Can I have that for my birthday party?"

Me:  <Not really believing that he could actually want something so simple for his birthday but going with it> "Um, sure, if that's what you want."

Eamon:  "Yay!"

Several days ago...

Eamon:  "Can we make the bundt cake for my birthday be a volcano?"

Me:  <Knowing he couldn't keep it simple> "Sure."

Eamon:  "And with dinosaurs?"

Me:  *sigh*  "Of course."

This morning...

Eamon:  "Mommy, I've got lots of dinosaurs that we can put on the bottom cake for my birthday."

Me:  "The 'bottom' cake?"

Eamon:  "Yeah, the small* cake on the bottom that the bundt volcano will sit on?  That's the one that holds it all together."

Me:  "So now you want two cakes?"

Eamon:  "Uh-huh and I think the triceratops should be on the top of the volcano."

Me:  *sigh*  "Of course."


*When he said "small," he meant a flat sheet cake.


Disclaimer:  We tend to keep the kids' actual parties fairly simple so we don't mind making a "fancy" cake - we've actually make similar birthday cakes for them before -  but it just cracked me up that his cake idea kept getting more and more elaborate. ;)  

I think he's looking for something like this...

Image courtesy of www.greatfun4kidsblog.com 

~Jeopardizing Conversations~

While Eamon was flipping channels...

Eamon:  <in a bored voice> "No. No. No."  <suddenly excited>  "Jeopardy?!  Oh, yeah!"


I think I might be doing this parenting thing right... ;) 

~Listing Conversations~

Lots to do this weekend so I broke out some serious lists and Eamon decided to get in on the action...

As you can see, he added "dosent" [doesn't] to the part about him cleaning his room and that "Daddy will run 1,000 miles and [do] 150 push ups."  ;)

Then he wanted to do his own list...

For those who can't read it, it says:

"I will bonk Daddy on the head.

He will give me all some of his mony. 

I will tackle daddy.

I will win.  

I will eat and sleep.

[the list gets a little off track at this point]

ZZZZZZZ...

huh, what day is it?  Sunday?!  I slept through Satrday."

And finally, Mark also wanted to get in on the list-making but he was driving so he asked Eamon to dictate the following:

"beat Eamon

beat Eamon agiun 

tie Eamon on car

make Eamon pull car to Sonic

buy E[amon] large milk shake

[Eamon didn't add the part that Mark dictated about slapping the milkshake out of Eamon's hand and instead added the following part]

give Eamon another"

Needless to say, the only part of the lists we've gotten to today mostly involve the eating! ;) 

~Field Trip Conversations~

While attending a field trip with Eamon's class and listening to an EMS paramedic talk to the kids....

EMS guy:  "Kids, when you call 911, how does the operator know whether to send the fire dept, the police, or an ambulance?"

<Eamon starts frantically waving his hand to be called on and gets permission to answer>

Eamon:  "You tell them what the problem is when you're on the phone and that's how they'll know who to send."

Kids:  "Ohhhh!"

EMS guy:  "That's right!"

Girl from Eamon's Class:  <turns to me with a smile on her face>  "Eamon is SO smart!  He is always saying smart stuff like that in class!"

Me:  <kind of surprised that that seemed like a tough question but realizing that for 2nd graders, I guess it is> "Oh, well, yes, he is.  Thank you!"


I guess it's only natural that common sense isn't common - yet - to seven year olds! ;)

~Hooters Conversations~

While getting ready for bedtime...

Eamon:  "Mommy, I've heard of a restaurant called 'Hooters' but I've never been there yet."

Me:  <wondering how much to say> "Well, uh, you see, the food there is really not all that good. <deciding to go for it>  And the waitresses have to wear really short shorts and tight tank tops.  It's more a place to go if you like to look at women's bodies while you're eating."

Eamon:  "...."

Me:  "What do you think - do you still want to go?"

Eamon:  "NO!  That. Sounds. Horrible."

Me:  "Well, you know, one day you might looking at girls and want a girlfrie..."

Eamon:  "NO!"   


I wonder how long this "girls are gross" kick is going to last.  Just the other day, he accidentally agreed with us when we said something about when he's grown up and has a girlfriend - until he remembered he loathes girls and will never have a GF.  ;)  (And if the "girls are gross" phase happens to last forever, that's fine too!)

~Girly Conversations~

While playing at the park where Eamon ran into a classmate...

Eamon:  "Mom, can I go over there to the big field and play with Nakeema?"

Me:  <looking at every little girl/friend of Eamon's as a potential daughter-in-law>  "I guess... She seems really sweet.  What's she like in school?  Is she a good kid?"

Eamon:  "Yeah, she's good.  She never gets into trouble.  Well, except when Azaryah makes her mad.  Oh, and Hannah."

Me:  "Umm, it's sounding like she kind of has a temper..."

Eamon:  "Well, Azaryah and Hannah are bullies so not really.  But sometimes Nakeema hears voices."

Me:  "Wait, WHAT?!"

Eamon:  "Yeah, sometimes Nakeema gets mad because she thinks Azaryah is saying mean things but she's not so she just hears things that no one else hears."

Me:  "Ok, wait a minute.  If Azaryah is known to be kind of a bully and Nakeema, who seems kind of sweet and only gets mad when known bullies antagonize her, gets mad because she says a known bully is saying mean things, then I'd say there's a pretty good chance that Azaryah is saying mean things so low that only Nakeema can hear."  

Eamon:  "Whatever.  Can I go play with her?"

Me:  <There's a 50/50 chance that my grandkids will turn out crazy but at least they'll be beautiful...>  "Sure, have fun!"

~Mother's Day Conversations~

While getting ready to go to a secret location on M-Day...

Eamon:  "We're going to the... toy store?!"

Me:  "What?!  Why would we go to the toy store?  It's MOTHER'S DAY!"

Eamon:  "Yeah, and mothers CARE for their children."

Me:  "By buying them toys?"

Eamon:  "Yes."

Me:  "Look, mothers care for their children in many, many ways that may or may not include buying them toys but then on Mother's Day, the children need to show their appreciation for their moms."

Eamon:  "Yeah, children treat their mothers well and then mothers buy them toys to show them how much they care."

Me:  *sigh*  "Whatever.  We're still not going to the toy store."


Although that probably would have been more fun than the grocery store which we actually went to. ;) 

~Paleontology Conversations~

While working outside in the yard tonight...

Eamon:  <slightly whiny> "When can we go inside so I can have some ice cream?"

Me:  "In a little bit.  I want to pull some more weeds.  Why don't you make yourself useful?"

Eamon:  *sigh*  "Ok, I'm going to use the shovel to make this hole Max & Ziggy dug even bigger."

Me:  "Um, what?!  No!  How about you use the shovel to fill in the hole!?"

Eamon:  *sigh*  "Ok."  <light bulb suddenly goes on>  "Mommy!  I just thought of something!  There could be dinosaurs buried in our back yard!  Scientists didn't check to see if there were dinosaurs buried here before the house was built, right?"

Me:  "Well, no..."

Eamon:  "So there could be dinosaurs under the back yard and we'd be the first people to find them and then we'd be famous!  I'm going to start digging for them!"

Me:  "Uh, ok..."  <light bulb suddenly goes on>  "You know, I think the best place to look for dinosaur bones is over here in this spot <where I'm going to plant a tree soon> so why don't you dig here?"

Eamon:  "OK!!"

Five minutes later...

Eamon:  <slightly whiny> "When can we go inside so I can have some ice cream?"

Me:  "As soon as you find a dinosaur bone, we'll go in."

Eamon:  <dejectedly>  "Ok..."

Several minutes later...

Eamon:  "Mommy, look what I found!"  <pulling a large bone out of the hole>  "I'm ready for my ice cream!"

Me:  "Did you really find that in the hole!?  It doesn't count because its one of the dogs' bones but still..."

Eamon:  <grins mischievously>

Me:  "Hey!  You planted that there.  But that was a pretty good one.  Ok, I guess you did earn some ice cream with that one."

~Mother's Day Conversations~

While relaxing after work with a good book, stretched out on the futon...

Me:  <noticing that someone is touching the back of my right calf> "What are you doing to my leg?"

Eamon:  "I'm giving you a massage."

Me:  <completely shocked>  "Oh.  Well, thank you..."

Eamon:  "And it's not even Mother's Day!"

Me:  "Aw, that is nice.  Am I going to get a massage for Mother's Day too?"

Eamon:  "Sure."

Me:  <really touched now>  "Aww, how swee..."

Eamon:  "I mean, if Erica's in town." 

Me:  <hysterically laughing because I knew that offer was too good to be true>

Eamon:  "What?!  I'm not a massage-ist like Erica!  I only know how to rub the back of your legs and do that chop-chop thing on your back!"

Me:  <trying to quit laughing>  "Ok, well, can you at least rub my other leg too so I don't feel lopsided?"

Eamon:  "Sure.  And I'll chop your back too but I'm not a massage-ist, ok?" 


Yeah, kid, I don't think you have to worry about anyone mistaking you for a massage therapist like your Aunt Erica... ;)

~Conversations with Eamon's Dad~

Have you ever seen one of those movies/TV shows where the husband and wife have a conversation that goes like this?

Wife: "Your uncle sure is weird."
Husband: "My uncle? I thought he was YOUR uncle!"
Wife: "What?! No!  Well, whose uncle is he then!?"

Well, I just had a conversation like that with Mark...

Mark:  "I'm going outside to see my dog."

Me:  <laughing> "Don't you mean your dogs plural?"

Mark:  "No, I mean my dog.  I only have one dog."

Me:  <incredulously> "What?!  I distinctly remember you bringing home a 2nd dog about five years ago and naming her Ziggy!"

Mark:  "No, Ziggy's not my dog." 

Me:  <exasperatedly> "Well, whose is she then?"

Mark:  "Umm, Rowan's.  Especially now that she just dug a giant hole in the pathway under the garden arch..."

Me:  *sigh*

The dog that no one claims... Good thing she's cute! ;)

The dog that Mark does claim! ;)

~Mealy Conversations~

While eating something for dinner that Eamon did not approve of...

Me:  "You need to eat all of the Shepherd's Pie before you have any more toast."

Eamon:  "I always eat all of my food sometimes."

Me:  "You always eat all of your food sometimes?  You know that doesn't mean what you think it means, right?"

Eamon:  "What?!  I don't like the food I don't like!"

Me:  *sigh*

~Tea Time Conversations~

While drinking some pre-bedtime tea...

Eamon:  "No one ever falls for my tea pranks."

Me:  "Tea pranks?  What's a tea prank?"

Eamon:  "You know, like tying the tea bag to the spoon and the handle of the mug so that when you lift the spoon, it makes a mess?"  <demonstrates his what he's talking about>

Me:  "I see..."

Eamon:  "Yeah, I've been wanting to do that to Daddy as payback."

Me:  "Payback for what?"

Eamon:  <shrugs shoulders> "I can't remember but I know he did something."

Me:  "Well, good luck with that!" 

~Holey Moley Conversations~

After finding a dead baby mole in the yard yesterday...

Me:  "Ooh, Eamon.  I just found a dead baby mole.  Wanna' see it before the dogs realize it's here?"

Eamon:  "Ew, gross!  Yeah, I'll be there as soon as I get down from the tree."

Me:  "Quick!  Here come the dogs!  Ack!  No, Ziggy, NO!  <trying to block the spot with my legs> Do not lay on the dead baby mole!  Get off!  NO!  Do NOT roll over on it!"

Eamon:  <studying the dead baby mole>  "Aww, that's kind of sad.  But it's cool too.  I think you should pick it up and get rid of it like Daddy did the dead bird before the dogs eat it."

Me:  "Good idea.  Except unlike you're dad, I'm not touching a dead animal.  Why don't you get me the shovel and I'll guard it so the dogs don't get it."

Eamon:  <runs to get shovel> "OK!" 

As I carried the dead baby mole in the shovel to the back of the yard, I suddenly had the undivided attention of both dogs...

Eamon:  "You know, Mommy, I think Max is sad about the baby mole being dead and that's why he's following so close behind you."

Me:  "Yeah, that's it.  He's sad about the mole - sad that he didn't get to eat it..."

~Poké-Bacon Conversations~

After checking out a 300+ pages book from the library for Eamon's school project (which is way too advanced for a 2nd grader)...

Me:  <sarcastically> "Well, here's your reading homework for tonight!"

Eamon:  "What?!  I have to read all of that?!"

Me:  "No, just kidding.  It will be me doing the reading and then explaining it to you.  But you could probably read a book this big if it was abo..."

Eamon:  "BACON!!!!"

Me:  <surprised>  "You would read a 300 page book about bacon?"

Eamon:  "Well, no, not really.  Maybe if it was about Pokémon.  Ooh, Poké-Bacon!"

Me:  "You would read a 300 page book about Poké-Bacon?"

Eamon:  "Well, no, because I like Pokémon and I wouldn't want them to be turned into bacon.  But I would read a book that big about Pokémon."

Me:  "Good enough."

~Legendary Conversations~

While watching the Wild Kratts TV show on PBS about lions...

Eamon:  "I'm going to start a new legend."

Me:  "Really?  About what?

Eamon:  "Carnivores and why they started eating meat."

Me:  "Ok, and this new legend is..."

Eamon:  "Well, see, the animals starting teasing the lions about how they looked so the lions ate them and became carnivores and ever since then, they eat those animals."

Me:  "So you're saying that in your legend, certain animals were bullying the lions and the lions ate the bullies and have been eating them ever since."

Eamon:  "Yep, that's the legend I'm going to start."

Me:  "Sounds reasonable..."

~Pokemon Conversations~

While heading into the store to pick up a few things...

Eamon:  "Mommy, if I do all my chores when we get home, will you buy me a set of Pokémon cards?" 

Me:  "What?! No, of course not!"

Eamon:  "Why not?"

Me:  "Because you have to do all of your chores anyway.  Without getting a reward!"

Eamon:  "Well, how about you buy me some Pokémon cards and then when we get home I'll do something like play with just my toys?"  <as opposed to whining about wanting to get on the computer or watch TV>

Me:  "You're not understanding how this whole bribery thing works.  You're supposed to offer me something that I couldn't normally get on my own in exchange for me buying you those cards."

Eamon:  "Ok, so you buy me the cards and I'll..."

Me:  "I didn't say that it was going to work, I'm just saying that's how it would be done."

Eamon:  "So..."

Me:  "No!" 

He's a persistent little thing... ;)

~Dr's Office Conversations~

While at the Dr's office for a VERY minor cough...

Eamon:  <sighing pathetically>  "I hope that one day <whimper> I won't have this cough any more..."

Me:  <laughing at his melodrama>

Eamon:  "What!?  I've had this cough for many, many months, Mommy."

Me:  <laughing harder>

Eamon:  "WHAT!?  I've been coughing since 2012!  And my heart huts..."

I suddenly realized that if he continued to lay it on this thick, the doctor might send us for an EKG, MRI, spinal tap, and any other test they could charge lots of money for...

Me:  "Hey, you know what?  This room would be an awesome practice spot for your 4 Directional Block move that you need to practice for Tae Kwon Do!"

Eamon:  "Really?"

Me:  "Yeah!  You should totally practice that." 

Eamon:  "Ok!  <completes the martial arts form>  Did you know that I can fight four people at once with that move?!"

Me:  "Really?  Awesome!  If you're fighting four people at once, you need to be really fast so now practice that as fast as you can possibly go!"

Eamon:  "Ok!"

Me:  "Now show the doctor your move."

Eamon:  "OK!!"

Doctor:  <five minutes later>  "His heart sounds perfect.  Give him some allergy meds and he'll be fine." 


Successfully avoided the EKG/MRI/spinal tap combo once more - parenting win!  ;) 

~Knowledgeable Conversatinos~

While discussing reading...

Me:  "Can you believe some people don't like to read?"

Eamon:  "Ok."

Me:  "Eamon, seriously, can you believe there are people out there don't like to read?!  Isn't that weird?"

Eamon:  "Ok."

Me:  "Quit answering 'Ok' to everything I say!  I'm asking you a question.  " 

Eamon:  <sighing>  "I don't know the answer to everything, Mommy."

Ok, well, the kid's got me there! ;) 

~Movie Conversations~

While getting ready to drop off a DVD...

Me:  "Hey, do you know where the movie is so we can take it back?"

Eamon:  "What movie?"

Me:  "You know, the one we watched last night?"

Eamon:  "You mean 'Three Black Men'?"

Me:  <blinking>  "Um, no, it's called 'Men in Black Three'!"

Eamon:  "Oh, right..." 

~Fatherly Conversations~

While walking the dogs at the park and hearing someone - or something - pass gas...

Mark:  "Ziggy!" 

Eamon:  "Daddy, that was not Ziggy.  It was you."

Mark:  "Son, the first rule of being a guy is that if you pass gas and there's a dog nearby, always blame the dog!  They can't defend themselves."

Eamon:  "Ohhhhh..." 


Also, I'm betting the dogs don't care if they get blamed for that. ;)

~Dig this Conversation~

After noticing a few new holes in the yard, I saw Max starting yet another one...

Me:  "Max!  No digging!  Bad Max! NO!"

Eamon:  <patiently> "But, mommy, digging is Max's life." 

Me:  "What?!  No, eating and getting his butt rubbed and fighting with Ziggy are Max's life." 

Eamon:  "But after those things, digging IS Max's life."

Me:  "Maybe.  But if he wants to continue to have a life, Max better stick to his already-dug holes..." 

~Coffee Conversations~

As Eamon was explaining in detail how to make coffee to his aunt, who just happens to be a barista...

Erica:  "Do you make coffee a lot?"

Eamon:  <very put upon> "Yes.  I do EVERYTHING for them."


Which is funny because when he DOES help with the coffee making, it's usually because he has begged and pleaded to do so!  ;)

~Mealy Conversations~

A few days ago, my cousin Jessica very graciously sent the fam and I some loot from the year that she taught English in South Korea.  Among the treasures was a can of mealworms - for eating.  Unfortunately the mealworms are past their sell-by date - or else Mark and Rowan totally would have tried them - so for now they're just a fun conversation piece.  Eamon, however, had other ideas...

Eamon:  "Mommy, when we can take the mealworms outside to release them?"

Me:  "Release them?  Honey, they're dead."

Eamon:  <looking stricken>  "Is it because I've been shaking the can?"

Me:  "What?!  No!  Sweetie, they were already dead."

Eamon:  "Oh.  Is it because they didn't put any air holes in the can?"

Me:  "Well, yes, that would do it but, see, they were dead before they went into the can."

Eamon:  <confused>  "But why would they put dead mealworms in a can?  I think they would have been alive if they had put air holes in the can." 

Me:  *sigh*