~Driving Conversations~

Eamon: "Are we almost there?"

Me: "We should be there in about ten minutes."

Eamon: "Ok, I'll count the seconds... to myself." <I've finally trained him not to do it out loud!>

Me: "That's fine but you know that means counting 600 seconds."

Eamon: "What?! That'll take too long. I'm just going to count to a million instead."

Me: "Uhh, you know a million is bigger than 600 right?"

Eamon: "Yeah, but it will still take less time."

Me: "Ok, whatever."

Eamon: <no more than three minutes later> "Ok, I'm done counting to a million. How come we're still not there?!"

Me: "Are you sure you didn't count really fast? Or leave out numbers? Like a lot of numbers?"

Eamon: "No, I counted all the way to a million really slow like this: one... two... three..."

Me: "Ok, whatever."

~Art Conversations~

Me: "Wow, I love this flower picture you did, sweetie!"

Eamon: "Those aren't flowers."

Me: "Oh. Um, well, can you tell me about your drawing then...?"

Eamon: "It's a picture of flying guys w/ no arms."

Me: "What?!  Ok, I guess I can see that for the drawing on the left but this one on the right is clearly the petals of a flower."

Eamon: "Those aren't flower petals. That's one flying guy exploding, mom!"

Marti: <stunned silence>

Mark: "Oh, yeah, I can see the body parts flying off in different directions! Nice work, son!"

Marti: <More stunned silence>

Mark: "It's a guy thing, babe."



Flower or flying/exploding guys? You be the judge!

(Please note that due to the light color of the crayons not showing up in the scan, I had to photocopy it very dark and then trace his drawings using dark markers but otherwise, everything is as he drew it)

~Conversations with Dad~

<After Mark telling Eamon that we'll need to do some cleaning tonight and tomorrow>

Eamon: "Why do I have to help?"

Mark: "Because your Meema's coming and she'll beat us w/ a stick if the place is dirty."

Eamon: "She will not!"

Mark: "Ok, she won't beat you with a stick b/c she loves you. But she'll beat me."

Eamon: "Cool!"

Mark: "You want her to beat me w/ a stick?"

Eamon: "Yes!"

~London Conversations~

While discussing Eamon's plans for a dollar he found in his pocket this morning

Eamon: "I'm going to put this dollar in my London bank so we can go to London! What's in London anyway?"

Mark: <in a rush to get ready> "It's just a city in England."

Me: "It's a very famous city with lots of stuff to see and do."

Eamon: "It's famous?  Well, I'm famous too."

Me: "You are?"

Eamon: "Yeah, that blog about me? Now I'm famous." ;)

~Almost-Summer Conversations~

<While discussing that summer is right around the corner>

Eamon: "I don't know why some people like summer."

Me: "Umm, a lot of people like summer b/c they go swimming, get out of school, you know, stuff like that?"

Eamon: "People that like summer must have forgotten about the mosquitoes b/c then they wouldn't like summer if they remembered the mosquitoes."

~Mealtime Conversations~

For letting me have an hour of uninterrupted yoga time, I told Eamon we could go to Moe's for dinner.  And on the way, this is what we discussed...

Me: "Are you ready to have some Moe's tonight?"

Eamon: "It's not nighttime.  It's still daylight."

Me: "Well, yes, but it's 5:30 so that's tonight, evening, dinnertime, whatever!"

Eamon: "Dinnertime?! But I never had lunch yet!"

Me: "Yes, you did! Remember the chicken, potatoes, spinach, and bell pepper?"

Eamon: "Oh, yeah... But you never gave me breakfast!"

Me: "I did too! Don't you remember the peanut butter sandwhich and milk?"

Eamon: "Oh, right."

Me: "And before you start about in-between meals, let me remind you about all the snacks you had!  There was the pasta and the Gogurt and the salami and the pretzels and..."

Eamon: "And lemonade!"

Me: "You had lemonade too? Wow..."

~Missing Dog Conversations~

<While looking for our two dogs who went AWOL during the storm last night...>

Eamon: "This is the worst day ever!"

Me: "Wait, you said yesterday was the worst day ever."

Eamon: "What? No..."

Me: "Yeah, during the storm you said it was the worst day ever."

Eamon: "Oh, right, right. Well, this one is too.

~One of Our Weirder Conversations About Dogs~

Eamon: "Mommy, the dogs keep licking me!"

Me: "Well, they must think you tast good."

Eamon, "No, they don't 'cuz they're made of meat, just like me."

Me: "Okayyyy...??"

Eamon: "They're not tasting me when they lick me, they're giving me kisses."

~Knee Injury Conversations~

As I was picking Eamon up from after-school-care yesterday, he was looking pretty distraught...

Me: "Honey, what's wrong?"

Eamon: <pathetic sniffly voice> "I fell and scraped my knee."

Me: "Oh, well, I see a couple of band-aids on it so I'm sure it will be fine."

Eamon: <really pathetic sniffly voice> "It just hurts so much that <sob!> I think I'm going to have to walk different from now on!" <mild wail>

Me: <looking under multiple band-aids> "Honey, the skin isn't even broken."

Eamon: "Oh."

************Five Minutes Later************

Me: <watching him run around the yard w/ careless abandon> "I see your knee is feeling better?"

Eamon: "Yeah, I took the band-aids off. They were what made it hurt."

Ah, yes, those dangerous pain-inflicting band-aids... ;)

~Morning Chores Conversation~

<As we were getting ready to head out to the car before school>

Me: "Eamon, can you put the dogs up so we can leave?"

Eamon: "Sure.  If you can hold my swords."

Me: "Wha...?! Ok, whatever."

(And despite the fact that the swords were of the foam variety, they still inflicted a slow painful death upon the ironing board before we made it out the door...)

~ There's Gold in Them Thar' Safety Pins! ~

<As I was prepping clothing for a recent consignment sale, safety pins were scattered on the floor around me, leading to the following conversation>

Eamon: "Mommy, look!  Gold safety pins! Can I have them to put in my piggy bank?"

Me: "Uh, I guess so but why do you want to do that?

Eamon: "They're gold!  I'm going save them so we can go to London one day!"

Me: "Honey, they're not worth anything b/c they're not real gold."

Eamon: "Well, I think they are so I'm putting them in my piggy bank."

***** LATER*****

Eamon: "Daddy, look at the gold safety pins mommy gave me!  I'm saving them in my piggy bank for London."

Mark: "Buddy, those aren't made of real gold."

Eamon: "Oh, ok."  

~The Continuing Saga of the Recorder Conversation~

Me: <after trying to have a conversation over recorder music> "Ooh, Eamon, why don't you go play your recorder outside for Max & Ziggy! You can be the pied piper of the dogs! They'll love it!"

Me: <after he came back inside> "So did they like your music?"

Eamon: "Well, they didn't clap..."

~Recorder Conversation Pt. 2~

Eamon: "This is so cool that I have TWO instruments now!"

Me: <half joking> "Maybe you could learn to play them at the same time?"

Eamon: "How could I play the drums and the recorder at the same time? B/c I need two hands for both of them. Oh, I know! I'll build two mechanical arms and attach them to my spine and use them to play one of the instruments! I just need to figure out how to build the mechanical arms..."

Me: "Or I was gonna' say that you could just use your feet to work the foot pedal and your hands for the recorder..."

Eamon: "Nah, I'll just build the mechanical arms."

~Conversation Concerning Eamon's New Recorder~

<Background: The bad news was that  Eamon was given a recorder (the musical instrument) while at my office today and insisted on playing it as much and as loudly as possible for the last 2+ hours of the work day.

The good news was that as much as he's been banging it on every hard surface he can find, dropping it, and poking it into shrubbery, it shouldn't last longer than a day or two!>

Eamon: <after a long-winded performance in the car> "Wasn't that good, mom?"

Me: "Uh, well, I think it was really good for someone who's never played the recorder before. And you'll get better w/ practice. And maybe we can find recorder playing instructions online..."

Eamon: "But I don't NEED to practice b/c I'm already really good."

Imagine 45 minutes of this...

~St. Patrick's Day Conversation Between Father & Son~

Eamon: "Dad, why are you wearing a skirt?"

 Mark: "It's not a skirt, son, it's a kilt. When you're older, I'll buy you one too b/c they're very manly."

 Eamon: "No, they're really not." ;)

~Hair Care Conversation~

<After walking out of the bathroom after doing his own hair>

Eamon: "Mommy, I look SO good!"

~Conversation With Teenagers~

Eamon: <after a conversing w/ his 15 yr old sister and her 14 yr old friend for a minute>
"Is there anything I can punch?"

~Bedtime Conversation~

<after having a pre-bedtime glass of milk and TWO pieces of pumkin pie w/ whipped cream, not to mention dinner and a few doughnut holes earlier in the evening>

Eamon: *smiling dreamily* "Mmmm, I can't wait until breakfast."



Growth spurt or tape worm? You be the judge!

~First Grade Lunch Table Conversation~

One random student to another: "No, I can't share your potato chips b/c the [security] camera would see me and then I'd get arrested. Or taken to the principal's office."

~Conversation About Opera (in Under 60 Seconds)~

<while flipping channels and coming upon an opera on ETV>

(0 seconds) "Ooh, opera! Let's watch this!"
(15 seconds) "I've never seen opera before!"
(30 seconds) "Ok, this opera is weird..."
(45 seconds) "Ok, I don't like opera.  Can we change the channel now?"

~Yoga Conversation~

Me: <while executing what I thought was an amazing standing splits pose> "Look at me, Eamon! Both hands on the ankle!"

Eamon: <yawn> "Can't you get your leg up any higher?"

(one yoga mat w/ printed poses does not a master make!)

~Yet Another Random Car Ride Conversation~

<after having a fairly intellectual conversation about ancient ancestors, evolution, and vestigal tails>

Eamon: "Do I have an ancestor?"

Me: "Yeah..."

Eamon: *fist pumping in air* "YEEESSSSSSSS!"

~Another Random Car Ride Conversation~

Eamon: "I don't want to get anything pierced."

Me: "Ok.... What made you think of that?"

Eamon: "Rowan [big sis] was talking about it. She said she wants to get her belly button pierced. And her nose. And her tongue. And her mouth. And her ears. And her face. And her eyebrows."

Me: "Really? I told her the tongue and eyebrow piercings were a bad idea. I guess we'll have to spank her now." (haha!)

Eamon: "Yaaayyyy!!!"

~Morning Car Ride Conversation~

Me: (after reminiscing about baby songs w/ altered lyrics that I used to sing to him on car rides) “Maybe you’ll sing those songs to your kids one day!”

Eamon: *sigh* “Mommy, I already told you I’m not getting married or having kids. I’m going to live w/ you and daddy forever.”

Me: “Well, you don’t have to get married or have kids but I’m pretty sure you’ll want to live on your own someday - I hope!”

Eamon: “No, I won’t b/c that’s expensive!” (well, he’s right about that at least!)

Me: “Ok, you can live w/ us forever but you’re going to need to pay rent.”

Eamon: *sigh* “Fine, but I’m not giving you my five dollar bill. I’ll give you 27.”

Me: “27… dollars?”

Eamon: “No! 27 cents! I have things I want to buy too you know. Like that frozen strawberry lemonade I bought w/ my money.”

~Post-Bookfair Conversation~

Me: "You'd better really enjoy all those books you talked me into buying b/c we're going to be eating nothing but beans and toast until payday now."

 Eamon: *blankly* "What books?"

 Me: "....?!?!..."

 Eamon: "Haha! Got you, mommy!"

~Conversation About Making Money~

Eamon: "I have 5 dollars now and then I'm going to get 5 more dollars and that will make 10 dollars. Then I'm going to trade my 10 dollar bill for a 20."

Me: "So you think someone will just give you $20 in exchange for your $10?"

Eamon: <with disdain> "Well, yeah!"

~Converation About Mid-Winter Break on February 5~

Me: "Sweetie, you may not know this but you have a week-long school break coming up. How would you like to spend it at the children's museum?"

 Eamon: "The whole week...?!"

 Me: "Yeah, does that sound fun...?"

 Eamon: *gasp* "I'm so happy I thought I was gonna' cry!"

~Conversation Overheard in Target on January 27~

(Believe it or not, the following conversation doesn't involve any of my family members... I swear!)

Man: "These lightsabers suck! Look how small they are! That's not standard lightsaber length!"

Woman: "Honey, those were made for children. Not a 6' tall man."

Man: "Oh..."

~Dinner Conversation from January 23~

 (after listening to some Simon & Garfunkel)

Mark: <singing> "Like a fridge full of buttered otters..."

 Eamon: "Oh, is that what they were singing!?"

~Morning Conversation from January 8, 2012~

Me: "Be back in a little bit, sweetie. I'm going to the stor..."

Eamon: "BACON!!!!!!"

Me: "Um, wha...?"

Eamon: "I NEED BACON!!!!!"

Me: "Uhh, ok, I'll see what I can..."

Eamon: "YAY!!!!!!! BACONNNNNN!!!!!!!"