~A Wealth of Conversations~

While discussing the future...

Eamon:  "When I become a famous scientist, I'm going to be rich.  So I'm going to have a mansion of course."

Me:  "Oh.  Well, of course.  What exactly are you going to put in your mansion?"

Eamon:  "I'm going to have a room for my dogs.  And I'm going to have a butler."

Me:  "A butler?  To answer the door for you?"

Eamon:  <horrified>  "No!  I can answer the door myself!"

Me:  "Will the butler walk your dogs?"

Eamon:  <indignant>  "No!  A good dog owner walks his own dogs!"

Me:  "True... but then what would the butler do for you?"

Eamon:  "Bring me stuff."

Me:  "So you can open your own door and walk your own dogs but you can't get your own stuff?"

Eamon:  "Well, I could but that's will be the butler's job."

Me:  "I see..."

Yep, sounds legit. ;)

~Outdoorsy Conversations~

It was so nice out Sunday morning that I decided to make my sister proud and do some outdoor yoga. Why I thought I needed to make Eamon enjoy the fresh air at the same time as me, I don't know...

First ten minutes of yoga:  Eamon bounced a ball off the side of the house repeatedly, right over my head and jumped back and forth onto the deck where I was practicing, nearly falling on my yoga mat at least once.  

Second ten minutes of yoga:  Eamon talked non-stop about all the characters in Mine Craft and Pokemon games (i.e. "...and then Pikachu got fire breath and I lost ten life points but then Emu-chu squirted him with water, which is when a creeper snuck up on him and then..."  

Final ten minutes of yoga:  Eamon sat in the nearby tree by the deck and "shot" me with his toy laser gun.  

So while I didn't get the full relaxation benefits of the yoga, I did at least get a good workout.  ;) 

~SleepyTime Conversations~

While discussing sleep, being tired, and the sheer amazingness that is naptime (in my opinion!)...

Eamon:  "When I was little, I didn't know about sleep so I just layed there with my eyes open."

Me:  "Um, what!?  You're trying to tell me that because you didn't know how to sleep when you were little, you just didn't do it?  For years."

Eamon:  <with a straight face>  "Yeah, I would lay down at night and just stare at the ceiling until morning but I didn't sleep."

Me:  "I see.  So once you learned about sleep as you got older, then you started doing it?"

Eamon:  "Yeah."

Me:  "And when did you finally understand how sleep works?"

Eamon:  "When I was four."

Me:  "Ah.  Well, that would certainly explain your first two years when I got about three solid hours of sleep per night..."

This is three-year-old Eamon, definitely not sleeping.  

You can tell that he is not asleep by the blur of his hands as he is actively coloring - 

with his neck bent at such an angle as to catch the light on his child-prodigy-like artwork. ;) 

~Yogic Conversations~

While trying to get Eamon to do yoga with me...

Eamon:  "I'm just going to lay here and do Dead Pose(TM)."

Me:  "You mean Corpse Pose?  Because you need to lay on your back to do that."

Eamon:  "No, I mean Dead Pose(TM).  This is Dead Pose(TM)."

Me:  "So you're making up your own yoga poses now? 

Eamon:  "Uh-huh.  And this one is Falling Moon(TM)."  

[This was after I'd attempted to get him to try Half Moon Pose.]

Me:  "Nice.  You wanna' try Peeing Dog Pose(TM)?"

Eamon:  "There's a pose called Peeing Dog(TM)?!"

Me:  "Well, there's a Downward Facing Dog Pose and a Three-Legged Dog Pose so I guess having your leg bent while in Three-Legged Dog would be Peeing Dog(TM) Pose."

Eamon:  "Cool!  Like this?!"

Me:  "Looks good!"

Eamon:  "How about "Broken-Armed-Child's Pose(TM)!?!"

Me:  "Nice!"

Eamon:  "And now for Awkward-Airplane-Crash Pose(TM)!"

Me:  "Ok, but I really need to get back to my own yoga now..."

Is it any wonder that I have to leave the house and pay to get any real yoga done? ;)  

~Tomato-To-mah-to Conversations~

While in Food Lion today... 

Me:  "Eamon, which kind of pasta sauce should we get:  Tomato Basil or Olive Oil Garlic?"

Eamon:  "The second one.  I don't want any tomato in mine."

Me:  <moment of stunned silence>  "Dude.  You do realize that this whole jar of sauce is nothing but tomatoes, right?"

Eamon:  <look of horrified disappointment>

And now that Eamon is witnessing me type this, he wants our audience to know that he was only joking and knew the whole time that pasta sauce is made entirely from tomatoes. ;)

~Changing Conversations~

The following conversations, which were overheard in department store changing rooms, make me soo glad that Eamon's toddler days are over!  ;) 

The Mom:  "Please stop that.  No!  Let mommy finish trying these things on and then I PROMISE we will go kick the soccer ball.  Just a few more minutes..."  <sudden scuffling and loud noises>  

The Kid:  <thwarted but unhurt> "Stop that, mommy! That hurt!"

The Mom:  <exasperated> "Do you know why I had to pull you up?  BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS TO SEE A LITTLE BOY CRAWLING INTO THEIR DRESSING ROOM WHILE THEY'RE CHANGING CLOTHES!"

Several minutes later...

The Kid:  <in a sing-song voice> "Mommy...!  Look at me...! I'm wearing your shoes!  I am such a pretty little boy!"  

At another department store in another dressing room on the same day...

A little girl and her dad were [obviously] standing right outside the dressing room waiting for the mom when this one-sided conversation took place...

Little Girl:  "DADDY, I'M GOING TO STAY OUT HERE WITH YOU, OK?  BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SEE MOMMY NAKED!  IS MY VOICE LOUD?  MY VOICE SOUNDS LIKE LIQUID!"

Whatever that kid is on, she needs to share with the moms! ;) 

~Heated Conversations~

After picking up a bag of Lay's new potato chips...

Eamon:  "Can't we get something else?  I don't like those!"

Me:  "You don't know if you don't like them b/c you've never tried them.  Plus, if you don't like them, more for me, Dad, & Rowan."

later...

Eamon:  <hesitantly> "Ok, I'll try one...Hmm, not ba... AAAUUGH!  HOT! HOT!  NEED WATER!  WATERRRRRRR!"  <runs around the kitchen like he's on fire>

Me:  "Milk would be better."

Eamon:  <finally making it to the fridge and reaching for the milk, stops suddenly>  "Oh.  Actually, I don't need that anymore.  Hmm, once your mouth stops being on fire, they're actually pretty good."

Eamon's ringing endorsement: 

Once your mouth stops being on fire, they're actually pretty good. ;) 

UPDATE:  We all ended up enjoying these chips.  Some of us a little too much like when Mark decided to share them with his eyeballs.  Yes, you read that right.  Mark was so overwhelmed with the wonderful wasabi ginger flavor that he thought it would be a good idea to stick his fingers immediately from his mouth into his eyeballs, in the process of putting in his contacts.  Much shouting and cursing ensued.  And then the exact thing happened the next day too!  Several days later, the following conversation took place.

Mark:  "Hey, are there any of those chips left?  They're pretty good."

Me:  <feeling slightly guilty at having eaten the last few crumbs minutes before> "Umm, nooo..."

Mark:  "I thought I just saw the bag in the kitchen?"

Me:  "Well, there are none left now."

Mark:  <irritated> "I only got to have two chips."

Me:  "And you decided to shove them both in your eyes so you're not allowed to have those chips."

And who wins the Ultimate-Blame-Deflection Game (for this round anyway)?  ME!  ;)