~Armpit Conversations~

Eamon:  "Whew! I need to rest my armpit!"

Me:  "What!? Why do you need to rest your armpit?"

Eamon:  <matter of factly> "Because when I scratch it too much, it hurts." <proceeds to tuck a pillow under his armpit and stretches his arm out on the length of the pillow>

Three minutes later...

Eamon:  "Ok, my armpit feels fine now!"

~Scary Conversations~

After jumping out at yelling "Boo!" at Eamon...

Eamon:  "Don't do that!  You're not supposed to scare me!"

Me:  "But you sneak up and scare me all the time.  Why is it ok for you to do it to me but I can't do it to you?"

Eamon:  "Because I'm a kid and I'm scared. Of everything."

~No Conversation, Just Ranting~

No, that's not the linoleum pattern you're seeing.  All those little speckles are sand (click on photo to enlarge).  Lots and lots and LOTS of sand, courtesy of Lake Murray and my seven year old who decided to belly crawl across the shore when I told him it was time to go.  (Did I mention that, despite the fact that he whined about how cold he was for at least 10 minutes before we left, when I gave in and said we could go, he slowly drug himself out of the water and across the beach to demonstrate his reluctance to leave?;)

Fast forward an hour...

After arriving at the house, I instructed him to remove his sandy swim trunks and shower - because he would have stayed in them otherwise.  The next time I went into the bathroom, from the amount of sand under my feet, I thought I was back at the beach!  When I questioned him about it, he looked quite puzzled, almost as if he didn't know what sand was. 

To really understand his confusion (imagined or otherwise), you have to have seen "A Christmas Story."  If you haven't seen it, please stop reading and go watch it now! (What the heck kind of childhood did you have anyway?!)  Now that you have seen it, do you remember the scene after the triple dog dare in which all of the kids leave Flick outside stuck to the flag pole?  And the teacher asks where Flick is, to which Ralphie gives a blank look and thinks to himself, "Flick? Who's Flick?"  Yeah, that's exactly the look I got when I asked about the sand on the bathroom floor. 

"Sand?  What's sand?" 

Unfortunately, my whole family has perfected "the look."  "Butter?  Smeared across the countertops, you say?  What's butter?"  "Laundry that needs to be folded?  I do not understand this 'laundry' of which you speak...?"  *sigh* One day I'm going to end up at Our Lady of Peace** and it's going to be because of "the look." 

Needless to say, he swept up the sand, although it took three inspections for him to get it all -

and he also put away the swim trunks he'd hidden behind the door!  ;)

**Louisville reference

(which isn't even a Louisville reference anymore b/c Our Lady of Peace was renamed)

~Workout Conversations~

While doing my homework tonight, Eamon decided to "workout" with my 5 lb. weights...

Eamon:  <pretending to strain>  "...seven, eight, nine... just need to get to a million..."

Me:  "A million?!"

Eamon:  <no longer straining>  "Yeah, a million.  What?"

Me:  "I don't think you'll make it to a million."

Eamon:  "Sure I will. <resumes counting> A hundred and two, a hundred and three, a hundred and four, a thousand and five, a thousand and six..."

Me:  "Hey, didn't you skip some numbers?"

Eamon:  <thinking>  "No, I'm counting them all. <resumes counting>  A thousand and seven, a million and eight, a million and nine... Done!"

Yep, he's the workout partner for me! ;) 

~Zombie Conversations~

While playing with a long thin bendy-toy at my office...

Eamon:  "Look at what I made!  Glasses!  <perches them on nose, flutters eyelids, and sticks out tongue>  And now I'm a zombie wearing glasses." 

Me:  <teasing>  "A zombie with glasses?  Why would a zombie be wearing glasses?"

Eamon:  <suddenly serious>  "Zombies can wear glasses too, Mommy.  Some zombies need glasses to see, you know."

Me:  "Oh, right.  I didn't realize... Wait a minute!"

His little "zombies-are-people-too" lecture actually made feel guilty for my marginalization of the optically-impaired zombie population until I remembered that there is no zombie population, optically-impaired or otherwise!  At least I hope there isn't... ;)

~An Assortment of Eamonisms~

While cleaning out a closet today, I found an old baby-block-shaped bank...

Eamon:  "Ooh, that's cool looking!

Me:  <nostalgically>  "That was mine when I was a baby."

Eamon:  <smiles angelically>  "Can I have it, Mommy?" 

Me:  <feeling proud to pass on an heirloom>  "Well, sure, sweetie!"

Eamon:  <fiddling with the bank>  "The bottom of this bank is weird.  How do you even open it?"

Me:  "Oh, let's see if I remember the trick... Oh, there it goes!  See, that's how you open it."

Eamon:  <dumps out coins into his hand, gives me old bank>  "Thanks!"

Me:  "What are you doing?"

Eamon:  "Putting this money in my Spiderman bank.  You can keep the old one." 

And that's how my seven year old conned me out of my childhood life savings!  And he's been ensuring that I have no adult life savings ever since he was born... ;)
=============================================

While Eamon's school friend was over today...

Eamon:  <opening the door to the bathroom>  "Why is this door knob sticky?"

Random Friend:  "Oh, that's just the peanut butter from earlier."

Eamon:  "Oh, ok."

=============================================

While trying to help Eamon come up with today's topic for his daily summer journal entry - and coming up with  four sentences always ends up being way more difficult than you would think!

Me:  "Honey, you can write about anything!  Just write about something you did today or something that interests you.  What interests you?"

Eamon:  <lightbulb goes on>  "Eating!"

Me:  "Um, ok, sure.  I guess you can write about eating..."

So we ended up with this...

"Today I ate crackers.  I also ate strawberries.  My friend ate peanut butter crackers.  He also ate strawberries."

We've been at this for a week and the kid has already figured out how to work the system! :P

~Meaty Conversations~

While watching "The Cat in the Hat" this morning...

Eamon:  <laughing> "The Cat just said, 'Meet cotton candy!'  How can you meet cotton candy?  Ooh, but meat cotton candy sounds good!"

Me:  "Cotton candy made out of meat?  That's disgusting!"

Eamon:  "I think it sounds awesome!  I know Daddy and Rowan would like it."

Me:  "Yeah, because they're weird."

Eamon:  "Well, I'm weird too."

30 seconds later...

Eamon:  "Daddy, I just had an idea about food:  cotton candy made out of meat!"

Mark:  "That sounds awesome, buddy!"


It's becoming increasingly obvious that I am the only sane one in this family...

~Bedtime Conversations~

While deciding on a bedtime book...

Me:  "Hey, how about that Why Do Snakes Hiss? book?  I don't think we've read that yet."

Mark:  <jokingly>  "Snakes? Sounds boring to me!"

Eamon:  <reproachfully>  "Daddy!  You know I need to learn lots of facts about animals so we're reading it!"

~Random Sunday Morning Conversations~

After watching a Curious George episode, featuring the Italian chef character...

Eamon:  "Did you know that people in Italy eat spaghetti for every meal?"

Me:  *sigh*  "They don't really.  It's just that shows on TV only show them eating that.  I promise you that Italian people eat other kinds of food too.  Ok, now the show's over so you have to go help Rowan with the dishes."

Eamon:  "Mommy, why does it feel like we have to put away dishes all the time?"

Me:  "Because you guys constantly dirty them.  Now get to it."

Yep, making the kids load and unload the dishwasher after every meal and/or cooking project was the best idea I've ever had. ;) 

~TV Conversations~

While watching one of those "get outside" commercials on the morning cartoon channel...

Eamon:  "Don't worry TV, I'm going outside soon!"

And then he'd had enough of the self-righteousness...

Eamon:  "If going inside 'creates a host of problems,' then why do we sleep inside, huh!?"

~Desk Cleanout Conversations~

After Aunt Erica spent Eamon's last day at school with him...

Erica:  "Your son's desk was a mess.  When I pulled out all the papers stuffed in there, including old artwork, hat and mittens, an old cookie fell out."

Eamon:  "It wasn't a cookie!"

Erica:  "It wasn't a cookie?  What was it?!"

Eamon:  "Crust."

Us:  "Ewww!" 

Erica:  "Yeah, his friend Bob said, 'Eamon's a hoarder'."


Seven years old and my son is a hoarder... :(