~Pocketed Conversations~

While driving home from my school's VERY frosty holiday parade in which Eamon got to ride on a firetruck...

Me:  "Were you warm enough?  Because I was FREEZING!"

Eamon:  "Yeah, I was pretty warm, except my hands got cold."

Me:  "Oh, no.  They were cold even though you put them in your pockets?  Because you didn't have to wave the whole time you were on the firetruck.  You could have put them in your pockets."

Eamon:  <solemnly>  "I don't have pockets."

Me:  "What?!  That's a brand new jacket.  I'm sure it has pockets!"

Eamon:  "Nope, no pockets."

Me:  "Hmm..."

Five minutes later after parking the car and reaching into the backseat for the jacket which of course my frosty-handed son was not wearing...

Me:  "There are TOO pockets in this jacket!  Two of them in fact..."

Eamon:  "Oh.  Those.  Those aren't pockets.  That's just wear I store my mittens."

Me:  <gasping>  "There are mittens in here too?!  You had pockets AND mittens and your hands were cold because you didn't use either?!"

Eamon:  "I forgot about the mittens and that I was keeping them in there."

Me:  "You mean the pockets?  Because these 'mitten-storage containers' are also known as pockets."


He'll never admit his mistake now that I've caught him in this glaring oversight.  Henceforth, Eamon's pockets shall always be known as "mitten-storage containers." ;) 

~Mortifying Conversations~

Today was a memorable day in which a whole new level of parental embarrassment was achieved...

Today Eamon's Tae Kwon Do teacher had to stop class to address Eamon's flatulence.  In the end - pun intended - he finally entreated Eamon to, "...just go ahead and let it all out, man.  Otherwise, I'm afraid you might explode.  And at least this way maybe your mom will be willing to let you in the car after class."  As I was covering my face, which was burning with shame, Eamon was maniacally giggling and passing gas, as eight year old boys are wont to do in such situations.  Oh, and should I mention that his classmates were covering their noses with their doboks?  *sigh*  

~Treed Conversations~

After a "traumatic" dodge ball incident at after-school care today in which Eamon got tagged out in the first round and then picked up by me before he had the chance to redeem himself...

Eamon:  <sobbing>

ME:  "Dude, it happens.  You'll get to play again tomorrow and I'm sure you'll tag plenty of people out. No worries."

Eamon:  <SOBBING!>

Me:  <sigh>  "Ok, whatever.  Look, when we get home, I need you to let the dogs out and then... just hang out with them until you're over this and ready to come back inside."

A few minutes after arriving home...

Ziggy (one of our dogs):  <emphatically glaring at me through the back door> "Rowr, rowr, roooowrrrr, ROWRRR!  Rowr, rowr, roooowrrrr, ROWRRR!"  [I should mention that Ziggy does this rumbly growly grumble thing at us that, today, roughly translated to:  'Come collect your noisome whingeing offspring because he is disturbing our peaceful sanctuary.']

Me:  <looking through the back door window and noticing Eamon hanging upside down out of his favorite tree, while still wailing like a banshee, causing me to go investigate>  "Really?!  You're still crying over this?  Quit it!  Ohmygod, you're upsetting the dogs!  Seriously, Ziggy just ran away to hide in the dog house and Max won't come out either!"  <starting to laugh hysterically over the absurdity of the whole thing>

Eamon:  <also starting to laugh hysterically but trying desperately to turn it back into wailing>

Ziggy:  <from the safety of the dog house>  "Rowr, ROWRRR, rowr, roooowrrrr!  Rowr, rowwwwr, roooowrrrr, ROWRRR!"  [Roughly translated to:  'How am I supposed to do my business when he's monopolizing the tree?!']

Me:  "You have three seconds to get it together or I'm going to eat all the brownies AND you won't get to watch 'Wild Kratts' on PBS."

Eamon:  <sniffing valiantly while running inside>  "I'm fine now."

Me:  "Yeah, I thought so..."  


Ahh, parenting at its finest. ;)

our "talkative" puppy, Ziggy

our "scaredy cat," Max

 

and our "traumatized" little boy...

~Crazed Conversations~

Not your regularly scheduled Eamon conversation!  This is while my co-worker was trying to put her finger on a certain incident that happened recently in the library...

Co-worker:  <laughing> "What was it that kid called you?"

Me:  "Um, racist?"

Co-worker:  <still laughing>  "No, not the girl.  The boy.  What did he call you?"

Me:  "Oh, ignorant!"

Co-worker:  <laughing harder>  "No!  The other one!  He said you were... something?"

Me:  "You mean the one that kept calling me 'officer' like it was an insult?"

Co-worker:  <getting exasperated>  "No!  The one last week that said you were... ?"

Me:  "Oh!  The kid that said I was 'trippin.'!"

Co-worker:  <excitedly>  "Yes!  That's it!  'You're 'trippin,' Ms. Brown'!"  <laughing again> 

Me:  "Yes, I am quite often tripping... over things." ;)   

Note:  My co-worker was only laughing so hard at this because she has been called MUCH worse during her 20+ years of teaching.  Trippin,' racist, officer, and ignorant aren't even on the insult radar for teachers!    

~Booked Conversations~

Heard 'round the breakfast table this morning...

Eamon:  "Where there are books, there is mommy!"

I was so touched by his observation, I don't even remember what preceeded it! Of course my place at the table IS surrounded by piles of books so... ;)  

Heard shortly AFTER breakfast...

Eamon:  "When's lunch?"

Me:  "Dude, it's 8:58 A.M."

Eamon:  "Oh."

<later>

Eamon:  "Is it time for lunch now?"

Me:  "It's 9:02 AM!"  

Eamon:  "So it's only been four minutes?  It seems like it's been a lot longer."  

Both of us:  *sigh* 

~Nutty Conversations~

This morning...

Eamon:  "Hey, do you know how they get the m&m's in the yellow bags to taste nutty?"

Me:  <deciding to go with the obvious>  "I don't know, because they put peanuts in them?"

Eamon:  "Yep, that's how they do it."

Me:  <cracking up>

Eamon:  "What?  What's so funny?"

Me:  "I thought you were going to tell me a joke or something I didn't expect.  Of course the m&m's in the yellow bags taste nutty because they put peanuts in them.  They're called peanut m&m's for a reason."

Eamon:  "Ohhh...."

~Sweet Conversations~

On Halloween...

Me:  "Hey, this flier says that your dentist's office is having a candy swap tomorrow night!  You take your unopened candy in and they'll pay a dollar a pound for it, max up to five pounds.  What do you think?"  

Eamon:  <thoughtfully> "Really?  Well, I have been wanting to save up to buy an R2-D2 robot..."

Me:  "You realize you woudn't get a whole lot of money for this, right?  The most you'll get is $5."

Eamon:  "What?  But if you get a dollar a piece then..."  

Me:  "No!  You get a dollar per POUND of candy.  It takes a lot of candy to make a pound but you could make some money off of this and still have some candy to..."

Eamon:  <open-mouthed horrified expression>    

Me:  "Uhh, I take it you don't want to do this..."

Eamon:  <open-mouthed horrified expression>    

Me:  "Okay, then nevermind."