~Conversations ABOUT Eamon~

After receiving some cryptic standardized test results from Eamon's school, I decided to take them to work with me to see if my coworker could decipher them...

Me:  "Hey, Eamon got some standardized test scores back but I can't make heads or tails of them.  Will you take a look?"

Kathy:  "I'm really only familiar with the high school tests, not the elementary ones."

Me:  "I know but you've been in the district longer than me so I just thought it might make more sense to you."

Kathy:  "Well, I'll look but I doubt that I... <unfolding the paper> OH. MY. GOD!!"

Me:  "What?  WHAT?!  Is that bad or good!?"

Kathy:  "Um, yeah, see the black bars on the bar graph?"

Me:  "The tall ones?"

Kathy:  "Yeah, the tall bars that are AT LEAST TEN POINTS HIGHER than all the other bars?  Yeah, that's your child. The other bars are the norms for kids his age."

Me:  "Oh.  Really? Well, I thought he'd done well but I didn't just want to assum..."

Kathy:  <laughing> "Yeah, right!  As if you didn't know!  You brought this in so you could brag about how smart your child is!  Speaking of which, is that him over the in the corner of the library!?  I didn't even know he was here!  I can't believe he's just quietly sitting over there reading!"

Me:  "Yeah, well, you know how he loves our Pokemon graphic novels."

Kathy:  "Ok, it's official:  you have the perfect child."

Me:  "Well, I wouldn't go that far!  He has his moments.  I mean, just this morning he was..."  

Kathy:  <laughing>  "No, no!  I don't care what you tell me.  He's the perfect child and if you tell me anything different, I'll just say that he's expressing his creativity or that he was experimenting or that his genius just couldn't be contained..."  

Fast forward several hours as Eamon and I were heading out of the library and instead of just walking toward the door, Eamon had to belly crawl under one of the display tables...

Me:  <looking at Kathy and then pointing at Eamon>  "See?  This is what I'm talking about!  He couldn't just walk to the door like a normal person.  No, my child has to crawl like an animal..."

Kathy:  "No, that boy is not crawling, he's preparing to be a Navy SEAL or... or a J.A.G.*!  Mmhmm, that's what he's doing.  He's going to be a lawyer in the military."  

Me:  <laughing>  "Ok, that must be it."

*J.A.G. refers to a legal representative in the military

Poor Kathy has dealt with so many bad kids in her 20 years of teaching that she doesn't know what to do with a normal one! ;) But as a mother, I do appreciate her confidence in my son's ability! :) 

 

~Toothy Conversations~

Ok, this is more of a follow up to the last post rather than a conversation with Eamon. Sorry for the change in format but I wanted to give everyone an update. :)

When Eamon left for school on Wednesday morning, he had no top front teeth. After taking on playground equipment mouth first late Wednesday morning, I was afraid he might never have front teeth! But apparently a metal pole to the gums was just what he needed to get those puppies out! These kind of playground accidents don't usually have such happy endings but I'm glad this one did! :)

No teeth on Tuesday!

Lots of teeth on Thursday!

~Sciencey Conversations~

While driving home from Tae Kwon Doe last night...

Eamon:  "Did you know that the sun is going to burn out in a thousand years?"

Me:  "Really?  A thousand years, huh?  How do you know?"

Eamon:  "A book."

Me:  "Wow."

Eamon:  "Yep, and nothing on the earth can live for more than a day if the sun is gone!"

Me:  "Yeah, I've heard that."

Eamon:  "So then in nine billion years, when the sun implodes..."

Me:  "Wait!  A few minutes ago you said it only had a thousand years left but then you just said nine billion?"

Eamon:  "Well, it's either a thousand years or nine billion years.  I can't remember."


And this is why you shouldn't base your apocalypse plans on the word of an 8 year old...  ;)

~Sticky Conversations~

After an impromptu visit to the pediatric dentist for some X-rays after a ridiculous playground injury...

Me:  "You put on all three of the stickers they gave you!?  Wha...?  You don't even like stickers!"

Eamon:  <inaudible whispering>

Me:  "What?!"

Eamon:  "It's to cover my bloodiness!"

Me:  <noticing that the 3 large stickers are strategically placed over most of the bloody spots on his navy blue shirt>  "Oh.  Well, that does make sense.  Good job."

PS -  When the pediatrician (note that I did not say 'pediatric dentist' because, yes, we had to go to the pediatrician before the pediatric dentist would even see us) says, "Hey, is all that on your shirt part of your teeth?  Is the dentist going to scrape that off your shirt and put that back in your mouth?" you know that you're just done for the day; nothing productive will happen from then on!! ;) 

~Dinosaur Conversations~

While reading his recent birthday present from Aunt Patsy...

Eamon:  "Well, this proves my scientific theory about the Loch Ness Monster."

Me:  "You have a scientific theory?"

Eamon:  "Yeah."

Me:  "About the Loch Ness Monster?"

Eamon:  "Yeah!  It's a plesiosaurus.  It says so right here in the book and that's what my scientific theory was so it must be true."

Me:  *stunned*

~Random Conversations~

Here are a few non-Eamon conversations I've had in the past few days that were kind of amusing...

At school...

Random Student:  "Hi, I need a computer?"

Me:  "Ok, I need your pass."

RS:  <smiling and shaking his head at me as if I'm confused>  "Oh, no.  See, I'm a Senior."

Me:  "You still need a pass to come in to the library."

RS:  <bewildered>  "But I'm a senior.  I'm done with classes."

Me:  "If you're all done with classes, then you should leave campus."

RS:  <starting to get desperate> "But I'm still enrolled here!"

Me:  <speaking slowly so he can understand the confusing words coming out of my mouth> "If you're still enrolled, then you still need a pass to come into the library during class time."

RS:  <blinking confusedly at me b/c I am immune to his Senior-ness>

Me:  "Sweetie, go to whatever class you're supposed to be in right now and ask your teacher for a pass and then you can come back in to use the computer."

RS:  <dejectedly>  "Oh. Ok."

He did come back with a pass but he brought another Senior with him and that kid was lacking a library pass so I had practically the same conversation all over again!  Augh!  These kids... ;)   

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At home...

Me:  "Mark, have you put in your contacts yet today?"

Mark:  <suspiciously> "Yes.  Why?"

Me:  "You didn't open the new contact solution bottle."

Mark:  "I didn't need any contact solution."

Me:  "What?!  Why not?!"

Mark:  "Because I had enough in the contact lens case.  Why does it matter?"

Me:  <going into full whine mode>  "Because you NEVER open the contact solution bottle.  EVER!  You always leave it for me to do!"

Mark:  "That's not true.  I've opened it plenty of times."

Me:  "Fine.  If you've opened it plenty of times then you won't mind doing it now."

Mark:  "You really want me to open it?"

Me:  "Yes!"

Mark:  "Fine.  <gets the bottle; struggles with the bottle>  Geez, this is hard to do.  I see why don't like doing it..."

Me:  "I KNEW IT!!  I KNEW YOU'VE NEVER OPENED IT BEFORE!  Because if you had, you'd have known what a pain in the butt it is to open that stupid bottle!"

Mark:  <grins sheepishly at me>


All I can is it's a good thing for him that he's cute... ;)