~Conversations With Accident Prone Husbands~

After a minor ax-sharpening accident...

Mark: "I damn near cut my finger off sharpening the ax."

Me: <quickly scanning for puddles of blood and missing digits> "Really?  How bad?

Mark: <holds up finger with one band-aid> "Not bad at all really."

Me: <relived> "Oh, good."

Mark: "See?" <flashes suddenly bandage-less bloody finger wound>

Me: "Wha...? AUGH!  You can't just spring that on me!  I'm eating!  I need warning!"

Mark: "I thought you were ready."

Me: "No, I wasn't! <deep breath> Ok, I'm ready now." 

Mark: <shows finger wound again>

Me: <leaning forward to inspect> "Ok, well, I guess it's not so ba..."

Mark: <bends finger suddenly and repeatedly causing the 'minor' wound to open back and forth>

Me: "AUGH! You can't just spring that on me!  I need warning!"

Mark: "I thought you were ready."

Me: "No, I wasn't!  Just so you know, I'm not paying for stitches."