~Clutched Conversations~

After loading the groceries and getting into the car...

Eamon: "I already put the key in for you but how come it wouldn't start?"

Me:  "Oh, that's because the clutch wasn't in.  You have to push down on the clutch while turning the ignition.  I also like to press to brake, although that isn't necessary.  It's just a good habit in case for some reason the car was in gear instead of neutral because you wouldn't want it to accidentally jump forward or backward when starting it.  So that's why I press the brake and the clutch when starting the... Wait a minute!  Why were you trying to start my car in the first place?!" 

Eamon:  <innocently>  "I just wanted to help you."

Me:  "Uh-huh... and I just gave you a how-to-steal-my-car tutorial!  AUGH!" 

I can't believe I'm already having to give him 

the "Don't drive my car" talk!

~Conversations With Accident Prone Husbands~

After a minor ax-sharpening accident...

Mark: "I damn near cut my finger off sharpening the ax."

Me: <quickly scanning for puddles of blood and missing digits> "Really?  How bad?

Mark: <holds up finger with one band-aid> "Not bad at all really."

Me: <relived> "Oh, good."

Mark: "See?" <flashes suddenly bandage-less bloody finger wound>

Me: "Wha...? AUGH!  You can't just spring that on me!  I'm eating!  I need warning!"

Mark: "I thought you were ready."

Me: "No, I wasn't! <deep breath> Ok, I'm ready now." 

Mark: <shows finger wound again>

Me: <leaning forward to inspect> "Ok, well, I guess it's not so ba..."

Mark: <bends finger suddenly and repeatedly causing the 'minor' wound to open back and forth>

Me: "AUGH! You can't just spring that on me!  I need warning!"

Mark: "I thought you were ready."

Me: "No, I wasn't!  Just so you know, I'm not paying for stitches." 

~Symmetrical Conversations~

"Lunch"

by Eamon Wood

Nope, no OCD over here... 

~Schooled Conversations~

While driving in the car...

Eamon: <with anticipation> "I can't believe how close I am to middle school!"

Me: "Umm..."

Eamon: "Well, four weeks left in this school year, the summer, 5th grade, and then... middle school! How long is middle school anyway?"

Me: "Three years."

Eamon: "Cool. Then... high school! How long is high school anyway?"

Me: "Four years."

Eamon: "And then... college! How long is college?"

Me: "Well, it's four years for the Bachelor's degree and then probaly two or three years for graduate school."

Eamon: "Yeah, graduate school!  Wow, that's about twelve years..."

Me: "But it's going to be awesome! Because college is awesome!"

Eamon: "Really? Most kids don't want to go to college but I can't wait for college!"

Me: "Wait, what?! Why do the kids you know not want to go to college?!"

Eamon: "Well, they don't like going to school so they probably don't want to go to college either. But I LOVE school!"

Me: <heart melting> "You're going to love college. Just imagine getting to choose all your classes AND what time you go to them! If you don't like getting up in the morning, you never have to again. All afternoon classes, all the time."

Eamon: "WHOOOAA!"

I think this kid just ate his teacher with his gigantic gaping maw... 

but otherwise, I think his level of excitement over school is the same as Eamon's!