~Girly Conversations~

While playing at the park where Eamon ran into a classmate...

Eamon:  "Mom, can I go over there to the big field and play with Nakeema?"

Me:  <looking at every little girl/friend of Eamon's as a potential daughter-in-law>  "I guess... She seems really sweet.  What's she like in school?  Is she a good kid?"

Eamon:  "Yeah, she's good.  She never gets into trouble.  Well, except when Azaryah makes her mad.  Oh, and Hannah."

Me:  "Umm, it's sounding like she kind of has a temper..."

Eamon:  "Well, Azaryah and Hannah are bullies so not really.  But sometimes Nakeema hears voices."

Me:  "Wait, WHAT?!"

Eamon:  "Yeah, sometimes Nakeema gets mad because she thinks Azaryah is saying mean things but she's not so she just hears things that no one else hears."

Me:  "Ok, wait a minute.  If Azaryah is known to be kind of a bully and Nakeema, who seems kind of sweet and only gets mad when known bullies antagonize her, gets mad because she says a known bully is saying mean things, then I'd say there's a pretty good chance that Azaryah is saying mean things so low that only Nakeema can hear."  

Eamon:  "Whatever.  Can I go play with her?"

Me:  <There's a 50/50 chance that my grandkids will turn out crazy but at least they'll be beautiful...>  "Sure, have fun!"

~Mother's Day Conversations~

While getting ready to go to a secret location on M-Day...

Eamon:  "We're going to the... toy store?!"

Me:  "What?!  Why would we go to the toy store?  It's MOTHER'S DAY!"

Eamon:  "Yeah, and mothers CARE for their children."

Me:  "By buying them toys?"

Eamon:  "Yes."

Me:  "Look, mothers care for their children in many, many ways that may or may not include buying them toys but then on Mother's Day, the children need to show their appreciation for their moms."

Eamon:  "Yeah, children treat their mothers well and then mothers buy them toys to show them how much they care."

Me:  *sigh*  "Whatever.  We're still not going to the toy store."


Although that probably would have been more fun than the grocery store which we actually went to. ;) 

~Paleontology Conversations~

While working outside in the yard tonight...

Eamon:  <slightly whiny> "When can we go inside so I can have some ice cream?"

Me:  "In a little bit.  I want to pull some more weeds.  Why don't you make yourself useful?"

Eamon:  *sigh*  "Ok, I'm going to use the shovel to make this hole Max & Ziggy dug even bigger."

Me:  "Um, what?!  No!  How about you use the shovel to fill in the hole!?"

Eamon:  *sigh*  "Ok."  <light bulb suddenly goes on>  "Mommy!  I just thought of something!  There could be dinosaurs buried in our back yard!  Scientists didn't check to see if there were dinosaurs buried here before the house was built, right?"

Me:  "Well, no..."

Eamon:  "So there could be dinosaurs under the back yard and we'd be the first people to find them and then we'd be famous!  I'm going to start digging for them!"

Me:  "Uh, ok..."  <light bulb suddenly goes on>  "You know, I think the best place to look for dinosaur bones is over here in this spot <where I'm going to plant a tree soon> so why don't you dig here?"

Eamon:  "OK!!"

Five minutes later...

Eamon:  <slightly whiny> "When can we go inside so I can have some ice cream?"

Me:  "As soon as you find a dinosaur bone, we'll go in."

Eamon:  <dejectedly>  "Ok..."

Several minutes later...

Eamon:  "Mommy, look what I found!"  <pulling a large bone out of the hole>  "I'm ready for my ice cream!"

Me:  "Did you really find that in the hole!?  It doesn't count because its one of the dogs' bones but still..."

Eamon:  <grins mischievously>

Me:  "Hey!  You planted that there.  But that was a pretty good one.  Ok, I guess you did earn some ice cream with that one."

~Mother's Day Conversations~

While relaxing after work with a good book, stretched out on the futon...

Me:  <noticing that someone is touching the back of my right calf> "What are you doing to my leg?"

Eamon:  "I'm giving you a massage."

Me:  <completely shocked>  "Oh.  Well, thank you..."

Eamon:  "And it's not even Mother's Day!"

Me:  "Aw, that is nice.  Am I going to get a massage for Mother's Day too?"

Eamon:  "Sure."

Me:  <really touched now>  "Aww, how swee..."

Eamon:  "I mean, if Erica's in town." 

Me:  <hysterically laughing because I knew that offer was too good to be true>

Eamon:  "What?!  I'm not a massage-ist like Erica!  I only know how to rub the back of your legs and do that chop-chop thing on your back!"

Me:  <trying to quit laughing>  "Ok, well, can you at least rub my other leg too so I don't feel lopsided?"

Eamon:  "Sure.  And I'll chop your back too but I'm not a massage-ist, ok?" 


Yeah, kid, I don't think you have to worry about anyone mistaking you for a massage therapist like your Aunt Erica... ;)

~Conversations with Eamon's Dad~

Have you ever seen one of those movies/TV shows where the husband and wife have a conversation that goes like this?

Wife: "Your uncle sure is weird."
Husband: "My uncle? I thought he was YOUR uncle!"
Wife: "What?! No!  Well, whose uncle is he then!?"

Well, I just had a conversation like that with Mark...

Mark:  "I'm going outside to see my dog."

Me:  <laughing> "Don't you mean your dogs plural?"

Mark:  "No, I mean my dog.  I only have one dog."

Me:  <incredulously> "What?!  I distinctly remember you bringing home a 2nd dog about five years ago and naming her Ziggy!"

Mark:  "No, Ziggy's not my dog." 

Me:  <exasperatedly> "Well, whose is she then?"

Mark:  "Umm, Rowan's.  Especially now that she just dug a giant hole in the pathway under the garden arch..."

Me:  *sigh*

The dog that no one claims... Good thing she's cute! ;)

The dog that Mark does claim! ;)

~Mealy Conversations~

While eating something for dinner that Eamon did not approve of...

Me:  "You need to eat all of the Shepherd's Pie before you have any more toast."

Eamon:  "I always eat all of my food sometimes."

Me:  "You always eat all of your food sometimes?  You know that doesn't mean what you think it means, right?"

Eamon:  "What?!  I don't like the food I don't like!"

Me:  *sigh*

~Tea Time Conversations~

While drinking some pre-bedtime tea...

Eamon:  "No one ever falls for my tea pranks."

Me:  "Tea pranks?  What's a tea prank?"

Eamon:  "You know, like tying the tea bag to the spoon and the handle of the mug so that when you lift the spoon, it makes a mess?"  <demonstrates his what he's talking about>

Me:  "I see..."

Eamon:  "Yeah, I've been wanting to do that to Daddy as payback."

Me:  "Payback for what?"

Eamon:  <shrugs shoulders> "I can't remember but I know he did something."

Me:  "Well, good luck with that!"