Me: "Did you brush your teeth?"
Eamon: "Uh-huh."
Me: "And floss?"
Eamon: "Yep."
Me: "Let me check. Open up."
After nearly having to pry his mouth open to check...
Me: "EAMON!"
Eamon: <innocently> "What?"
Me: "There is a CARROT stuck in your front teeth! A WHOLE carrot!"
(Ok, it was more like a whole carrot sliver than a whole carrot but still!)
Eamon: <uncomfortably silent at being caught in his badly executed tooth brushing & flossing>
Me: "If you brushed and flossed then why is there a CARROT stuck in your teeth?!"
Eamon: "I don't know."
After being forced to brush and floss while under close surveillance...
Me: "Good night, sweetie. I love you. <under my breath> Even though your teeth are going to rot out of your head."
Eamon: "They will not!"
Me: "Sure they will, unless you learn to start brushing and flossing properly. But don't worry because then you can get some cool pointy metal teeth so you can look like a shark. But you have to be at least 18 when you lose your teeth and get metal replacements so that I don't have to pay for them, ok?"
Eamon: <resigned> "Ok, fine."
Me: "Sweet dreams!"
Ok, so the carrot stuck in his teeth wasn't quite this big...
but close! ;)
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