~Toothy Conversations~

Our usual pre-bedtime conversation...

Me:  "Did you brush your teeth?"

Eamon:  "Uh-huh."

Me:  "And floss?"

Eamon:  "Yep."

Me:  "Let me check.  Open up."

After nearly having to pry his mouth open to check...

Me:  "EAMON!"

Eamon:  <innocently> "What?"

Me:  "There is a CARROT stuck in your front teeth!  A WHOLE carrot!"

(Ok, it was more like a whole carrot sliver than a whole carrot but still!)

Eamon:  <uncomfortably silent at being caught in his badly executed tooth brushing & flossing> 

Me:  "If you brushed and flossed then why is there a CARROT stuck in your teeth?!"

Eamon:  "I don't know."

After being forced to brush and floss while under close surveillance...

Me:  "Good night, sweetie.  I love you.  <under my breath> Even though your teeth are going to rot out of your head."

Eamon:  "They will not!"

Me:  "Sure they will, unless you learn to start brushing and flossing properly.  But don't worry because then you can get some cool pointy metal teeth so you can look like a shark.  But you have to be at least 18 when you lose your teeth and get metal replacements so that I don't have to pay for them, ok?"

Eamon:  <resigned>  "Ok, fine."

Me:  "Sweet dreams!" 

Ok, so the carrot stuck in his teeth wasn't quite this big...

but close! ;) 

 

~Scratchy Conversations~

As I was trying to get Eamon to get into the shower...

Eamon:  <despondently> "Mommyyyy... can you come here?"

Me:  "What is it?"

Eamon:  "You have to come here."

Me:  "What do you have to tell me in the bathroom that you can't tell me in the TV room?"

Eamon:  "You just need to come here."

Even though it couldn't be too severe of a problem since he was calmly staring at me while standing naked in the hallway, I decided to go see what he wanted. 

Eamon:  <pointing sadly at three scraches on his ankle that he got several days ago while we were walking the dog and took a wrong turn through brambles>  "When are these scars going to go away?"

Me:  "Those are scratches, not scars and they will definitely be gone in three years, if not sooner."

Eamon:  "Three years!?  But I'll be eleven then!"

Me:  "I know.  And the scratches will be gone by then.  If not, I promise we'll go to the doctor."

Eamon:  *sigh*

Ahh, my little hypochondriac! ;) 

~Alert Conversations~

While discussing whether or not one of Eamon's classmates should join him in the ALERT (honors) program at school...

Eamon:  "Well, ALERT does help you step up a level to knowledge."

Me:  "Is that the program's motto?"

Eamon:  "No, I just made that up."

Me:  "Really?!"

Eamon:  "Yeah."

Me:  "I see."

Eamon then went on to expound on all the wonders of his ALERT program... 

Me:  "Why don't you tell your friend all of that and see if that convinces him?"

Eamon:  <seriously>  "Ok. I'll do my best to convince him to join ALERT."

Me:  <laughing at his exagerrated seriousness>  "Well, if anyone can do it, it's you!"

Eamon:  <solemnly>  "Thanks."

~Remote Conversations~

After work & school today...

Eamon:  <in his best whiny voice>  "When are we going to eat?!  I'm sooo hungryyyyy..."

Me:  "Soon.  Let me just finish..."

Eamon:  "I'm staaarrrving!"

Me:  "Ok, I'm done.  Let's go work on dinner."

Eamon:  <slightly surprised>  "But I'm watching this movie."

Me:  "Yes, and you can turn it off and come help me make dinner if you're so hungry."

Eamon:  <moment of silence>  "I don't know where the remote control is."

Me:  "So you're saying that since you can't find the remote control and, therefore, are unable to pause the movie that you have seen a million times before, you are unable to help me make the food that you have been whining for?"

Eamon:  <thinking>  "Um, yes?"

Me:  "Well, that's the great thing about DVD players!  And TVs!  They both have these little things on the front called BUTTONS than you can push with your FINGERS that makes them turn off so you can go on with your life!  Here, let's try it..."

Eamon:  *sigh*

Me:  <after getting Eamon to turn off the above-mentioned electronics>  "Oh, look how grown up my little man is, pushing buttons all by himself like a big boy!  Aww!"

Eamon:  "Could you please stop that?"

Me:  "Hey, dude, you're the one that suddenly lost the ability to operate household electronics."

~Friendly Conversations~

While having Eamon's friend sleepover...

Kal:  [muffled yet animated conversation coming from the bathroom where he is]

Eamon:  "Who is Kal talking to?"

Me :  "No clue."

The second that Kal comes out of the bathroom...

Eamon:  "Who were you talking to?  Do you have an imaginary friend?"

Kal:  <slightly defensive>  "First of all, how did you hear me in the bathroom?  Second, I DON'T have an imaginary friend!  I haven't talked to Augusta since I was five."

Eamon:  "You named your imaginary friend Augusta?"

Kal:  "Yeah, I don't know why I named her after the capital of Maine but I did."


Needless to say, it's been a long night.  When will 10:30am get here? :P

~Green Conversations~

While discussing St. Patrick's Day and the possiblity of being pinched for not wearing green...

Me:  "So did anyone pinch you today or did those green shamrock tattoos you were wearing take care of that?"

Eamon:  "No, no one pinched me.  And anyway, I don't think anyone in my class knows about the pinching thing."

Me:  "Really?  <under my breath> I figured the kids in your class would look for any excuse to inflict pain on others..."

Eamon:  "But I did tell some of the kids that I was half leprechaun!"

Me:  "Yeah?  Did they believe you?"

Eamon:  "Kind of.  But they wanted me to grant them wishes."

Me:  "What did you tell them?"

Eamon:  "I said I couldn't since I was only half leprechaun."

Me:  "And they believed you?"

Eamon:  "Yeah!"

Hmm, I'm starting to see how Eamon's classmates might have been a little confused... ;)  

~Batty Conversations~

While trying to iron this afternoon...

Me:  <noticing things whizzing past me and thunking to the ground>  "Eamon...?  Are you throwing things at me?!"

Eamon:  <innocently>  "Just batarangs.  And other stuff."

Me:  "So you're basically just launching whatever you can find in your room at me?"

Eamon:  "Yeah."

Sounds about right for a lazy Sunday afternoon... ;)

Update - 

Mark:  "At least he didn't wait until you were peeing to batarang you."

Me:  "Good point..."