~Conversations with Eamon's Dad~

Have you ever seen one of those movies/TV shows where the husband and wife have a conversation that goes like this?

Wife: "Your uncle sure is weird."
Husband: "My uncle? I thought he was YOUR uncle!"
Wife: "What?! No!  Well, whose uncle is he then!?"

Well, I just had a conversation like that with Mark...

Mark:  "I'm going outside to see my dog."

Me:  <laughing> "Don't you mean your dogs plural?"

Mark:  "No, I mean my dog.  I only have one dog."

Me:  <incredulously> "What?!  I distinctly remember you bringing home a 2nd dog about five years ago and naming her Ziggy!"

Mark:  "No, Ziggy's not my dog." 

Me:  <exasperatedly> "Well, whose is she then?"

Mark:  "Umm, Rowan's.  Especially now that she just dug a giant hole in the pathway under the garden arch..."

Me:  *sigh*

The dog that no one claims... Good thing she's cute! ;)

The dog that Mark does claim! ;)

~Mealy Conversations~

While eating something for dinner that Eamon did not approve of...

Me:  "You need to eat all of the Shepherd's Pie before you have any more toast."

Eamon:  "I always eat all of my food sometimes."

Me:  "You always eat all of your food sometimes?  You know that doesn't mean what you think it means, right?"

Eamon:  "What?!  I don't like the food I don't like!"

Me:  *sigh*

~Tea Time Conversations~

While drinking some pre-bedtime tea...

Eamon:  "No one ever falls for my tea pranks."

Me:  "Tea pranks?  What's a tea prank?"

Eamon:  "You know, like tying the tea bag to the spoon and the handle of the mug so that when you lift the spoon, it makes a mess?"  <demonstrates his what he's talking about>

Me:  "I see..."

Eamon:  "Yeah, I've been wanting to do that to Daddy as payback."

Me:  "Payback for what?"

Eamon:  <shrugs shoulders> "I can't remember but I know he did something."

Me:  "Well, good luck with that!" 

~Holey Moley Conversations~

After finding a dead baby mole in the yard yesterday...

Me:  "Ooh, Eamon.  I just found a dead baby mole.  Wanna' see it before the dogs realize it's here?"

Eamon:  "Ew, gross!  Yeah, I'll be there as soon as I get down from the tree."

Me:  "Quick!  Here come the dogs!  Ack!  No, Ziggy, NO!  <trying to block the spot with my legs> Do not lay on the dead baby mole!  Get off!  NO!  Do NOT roll over on it!"

Eamon:  <studying the dead baby mole>  "Aww, that's kind of sad.  But it's cool too.  I think you should pick it up and get rid of it like Daddy did the dead bird before the dogs eat it."

Me:  "Good idea.  Except unlike you're dad, I'm not touching a dead animal.  Why don't you get me the shovel and I'll guard it so the dogs don't get it."

Eamon:  <runs to get shovel> "OK!" 

As I carried the dead baby mole in the shovel to the back of the yard, I suddenly had the undivided attention of both dogs...

Eamon:  "You know, Mommy, I think Max is sad about the baby mole being dead and that's why he's following so close behind you."

Me:  "Yeah, that's it.  He's sad about the mole - sad that he didn't get to eat it..."

~Poké-Bacon Conversations~

After checking out a 300+ pages book from the library for Eamon's school project (which is way too advanced for a 2nd grader)...

Me:  <sarcastically> "Well, here's your reading homework for tonight!"

Eamon:  "What?!  I have to read all of that?!"

Me:  "No, just kidding.  It will be me doing the reading and then explaining it to you.  But you could probably read a book this big if it was abo..."

Eamon:  "BACON!!!!"

Me:  <surprised>  "You would read a 300 page book about bacon?"

Eamon:  "Well, no, not really.  Maybe if it was about Pokémon.  Ooh, Poké-Bacon!"

Me:  "You would read a 300 page book about Poké-Bacon?"

Eamon:  "Well, no, because I like Pokémon and I wouldn't want them to be turned into bacon.  But I would read a book that big about Pokémon."

Me:  "Good enough."

~Legendary Conversations~

While watching the Wild Kratts TV show on PBS about lions...

Eamon:  "I'm going to start a new legend."

Me:  "Really?  About what?

Eamon:  "Carnivores and why they started eating meat."

Me:  "Ok, and this new legend is..."

Eamon:  "Well, see, the animals starting teasing the lions about how they looked so the lions ate them and became carnivores and ever since then, they eat those animals."

Me:  "So you're saying that in your legend, certain animals were bullying the lions and the lions ate the bullies and have been eating them ever since."

Eamon:  "Yep, that's the legend I'm going to start."

Me:  "Sounds reasonable..."

~Pokemon Conversations~

While heading into the store to pick up a few things...

Eamon:  "Mommy, if I do all my chores when we get home, will you buy me a set of Pokémon cards?" 

Me:  "What?! No, of course not!"

Eamon:  "Why not?"

Me:  "Because you have to do all of your chores anyway.  Without getting a reward!"

Eamon:  "Well, how about you buy me some Pokémon cards and then when we get home I'll do something like play with just my toys?"  <as opposed to whining about wanting to get on the computer or watch TV>

Me:  "You're not understanding how this whole bribery thing works.  You're supposed to offer me something that I couldn't normally get on my own in exchange for me buying you those cards."

Eamon:  "Ok, so you buy me the cards and I'll..."

Me:  "I didn't say that it was going to work, I'm just saying that's how it would be done."

Eamon:  "So..."

Me:  "No!" 

He's a persistent little thing... ;)