From an assignment Eamon did for St. Patrick's Day at school...
How to Catch a Leprachan by Eamon Wood
Frist, I would make lazers you cant see.
Then, I would make the lazers moove.
Next, I would stele the gold.
Last, I would make a fake pot of gold to make him thinck its real.
*sigh* Stealing from the horizontally-challenged? Geez, what do they teach kids in schools these days? ;)
Anyone who's ever been around a 6 (now 12!) year old knows they say they craziest things. After months of being harangued, I've finally decided to start documenting the crazy things my kid says. It's either that or actually do my homework. So enjoy!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
~Blue Conversations~
For some reason, Eamon decided he wanted to watch an old Blue's Clues DVD this morning...
Steve (on TV show): "I need to paint something the green but I don't have that color in my paint set. I wonder what two colors I can mix together to make green..."
Eamon: [speaking to TV] "Blue and yellow."
Steve (on TV show): "Do YOU know which colors I should use?"
Eamon: [now yelling at TV] "BLUE AND YELLOW! You should know this!"
Steve (on TV show): "I need to paint something the green but I don't have that color in my paint set. I wonder what two colors I can mix together to make green..."
Eamon: [speaking to TV] "Blue and yellow."
Steve (on TV show): "Do YOU know which colors I should use?"
Eamon: [now yelling at TV] "BLUE AND YELLOW! You should know this!"
Monday, May 7, 2012
~Surprise Conversations~
While trying to view my pre-recorded online lecture for class...
Eamon: "Mommy, I have a surprise for you. Don't turn around..."
Turning around anyway...
Eamon: <pelts me with his dirty socks> "Surprise!"
Me: "Well now you get to put your dishes in the sink AND mine. Surprise!"
Eamon: "Hey, no fair!"
Eamon: "Mommy, I have a surprise for you. Don't turn around..."
Turning around anyway...
Eamon: <pelts me with his dirty socks> "Surprise!"
Me: "Well now you get to put your dishes in the sink AND mine. Surprise!"
Eamon: "Hey, no fair!"
~College Conversations~
While discussing how long Rowan might be in college...
Eamon: "You can go to college for four days or four years."
Me: "It's more like four years, sweetie."
Eamon: "No, some people don't have to go that long. Like Martin Luther King skipped a grade. I think he skipped college too."
Me: "No, sweetie, he definitely went to college! His title was Doctor Martin Luther King, which means that he went to college for a very long time to earn that."
Eamon: "Whatever. I just can't wait to be a mechanic so I can build pod racers. Everything will be a dollar."
Me: "That's very generous of you."
Eamon: "Yeah. I just need to come up with a symbol for the new kind of racers I'm going to make."
Eamon: "You can go to college for four days or four years."
Me: "It's more like four years, sweetie."
Eamon: "No, some people don't have to go that long. Like Martin Luther King skipped a grade. I think he skipped college too."
Me: "No, sweetie, he definitely went to college! His title was Doctor Martin Luther King, which means that he went to college for a very long time to earn that."
Eamon: "Whatever. I just can't wait to be a mechanic so I can build pod racers. Everything will be a dollar."
Me: "That's very generous of you."
Eamon: "Yeah. I just need to come up with a symbol for the new kind of racers I'm going to make."
Saturday, May 5, 2012
~Nasal Conversations~
While discussing joint popping...
Rowan: "I can even pop my nose! *pop* Which is kind of weird since there are no bones in there..."
Eamon: "Cool! Yeah, my nose is made of carnage, not bones."
Me: "What?!"
Eamon: "My nose is made of CARNAGE."
Me & Rowan: <BWAHAHAHA!>
Me: "Cartilage, your nose is made of cartilage."
Eamon: "Ohhhh!"
Rowan: "I can even pop my nose! *pop* Which is kind of weird since there are no bones in there..."
Eamon: "Cool! Yeah, my nose is made of carnage, not bones."
Me: "What?!"
Eamon: "My nose is made of CARNAGE."
Me & Rowan: <BWAHAHAHA!>
Me: "Cartilage, your nose is made of cartilage."
Eamon: "Ohhhh!"
Thursday, May 3, 2012
~Snowman Conversations~
While looking through Eamon's school stuff after picking him up...
Me: "Nice snowman picture, buddy. Hey, why is there an arrow drawn through his midsection..."
Eamon: <MANIACAL LAUGHTER>
Me: "Umm, and in this other picture you drew, the guy has X's over his eyes..."
Eamon: <MORE MANIACAL LAUGHTER>
Me: "Dude, seriously! What's up with these?"
Eamon: "I like drawing dead people. The one with X's on his eyes died of old age. Besides, they're just snowmen and you can do anything you want to snow men."
I guess you can't argue with that logic. ;)
Mark assures me that it's quite normal for little boys to draw dead things. Hmmm....
Me: "Nice snowman picture, buddy. Hey, why is there an arrow drawn through his midsection..."
Eamon: <MANIACAL LAUGHTER>
Me: "Umm, and in this other picture you drew, the guy has X's over his eyes..."
Eamon: <MORE MANIACAL LAUGHTER>
Me: "Dude, seriously! What's up with these?"
Eamon: "I like drawing dead people. The one with X's on his eyes died of old age. Besides, they're just snowmen and you can do anything you want to snow men."
I guess you can't argue with that logic. ;)
Mark assures me that it's quite normal for little boys to draw dead things. Hmmm....
~Insurance Conversations~
After watching an ad for the Gerber Growup life insurance plan...
Eamon: "100,000 dollars?! I want a 100,000 dollars!! If I had a 100,000 dollars, I could probably buy... what's that ship called mommy?"
Me: "The Millenium Falcon?"
Eamon: "Yeah! I would buy the Millenium Falcon! And you know what's cool about that? It comes with Lego Chewbacca and you have to built him!"
Me: "Ahh, so you're referring to the Lego Millenimum Falcon that you would buy with your $100,000!"
Eamon: "100,000 dollars?! I want a 100,000 dollars!! If I had a 100,000 dollars, I could probably buy... what's that ship called mommy?"
Me: "The Millenium Falcon?"
Eamon: "Yeah! I would buy the Millenium Falcon! And you know what's cool about that? It comes with Lego Chewbacca and you have to built him!"
Me: "Ahh, so you're referring to the Lego Millenimum Falcon that you would buy with your $100,000!"
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