~Amazed Conversations~

After ice skating with Eamon's friends tonight and then talking to Mema on the phone about it...

Mema: "So, Eamon, are you good at ice skating?

Eamon: <said with no irony whatsoever> "Well, this was only my second time ice skating and when I first got there, it was kind of hard.  But then my friend Nathaniel showed up and we talked for a while and then I started skating again and... then I was just amazing!"

[Read: Not having much experience, I kind of sucked but then my friend arrived and, having no experience, he REALLY sucked so I looked awesome in comparison. And also, I am slightly full of myself.]

My not-so-humble little monkey & his friends! ;)

 

~Accidental Conversations~

Immediately after talking to Mark on the phone...

INCOMING CALL FROM MARK

Eamon:  "Hey, Dad.  Hello?  Hellooo?!  DAAAD!!!  HELLOO!?"

Me:  "He must have butt-dialed you."

Eamon:  <beginning to giggle>

Me:  "Dude, he butt-dialed you, just hang up."

Eamon:  <now giggling uncontrollably>

Me:  "What?  Just hang up."

Eamon:  <even more giggling>  "I'm going to wait until he farts!"

Me:  <sigh>  "You are such a boy..." 

~Cheesy Conversations~

Overhearing an odd conversation between Mark and Eamon...

Me:  "What did you say you wanted for your birthday?"

Eamon:  <matter-of-factly>  "A meat and cheese platter."

Me:  "Why...?"

Eamon:  "Because it's good!"

Me:  "Okay... well, what kind of meat and cheese?

Eamon:  <sarcastically>  "A wide variety."

Well, at least my little smart ass has good taste. ;) 

~Milked Conversations~

October 30, 2011 (courtesy of FB memories)
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Morning conversation w/ Eamon when I told him to get the milk out~

Eamon: "Is this the milk w/ fat in it?"

Me: "We're out of 2%. The skim will be fine for you today."

Eamon: "But I need milk w/ fat in it. You and daddy can drink the milk w/o fat b/c you already have lots of fat." 

~(S)Pained Conversations~

October 2013, 2011 (Courtesy of FB memories)

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Today's car conversation w/ Eamon~

Eamon: "My friends grandparents live across the sea and speak Europe."

Me: "You mean they live in Europe? There are a lot of countries in Europe so if they live in Spain they might speak Spanish..."

Eamon: "No, mommy, people in China speak Spanish."
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~Sandwiched Conversations~

October 17, 2014 (courtesy of FB memories)

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It's a dark day in the Wood household:
Eamon just outgrew the kids' meal at Which Wich. :/

And considering the way he wolfed down a 7 inch sub, half a bag of chips, a cookie, and a drink and then said, "Mom, if your sandwich didn't have gross toppings [i.e. banana peppers & sriracha sauce], I would eat the rest of yours too," I know that it won't be long until he's eating a 14 inch sub - in comparison to the half of a 7 inch sub I usually eat!

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~Thor, Jr.~

October 20, 2011 (courtesy of FB memories)

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FYI, friends and family, my son has declared that he shall now be known as Thor, Jr. Also, his father will now be known as Mr. Thor and I should be referred to Mrs. Thor from now on. (And I guess that makes his sister Miss Thor?) Please update our contact info accordingly. ;) 
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~Smashed Conversations~

From October 21, 2011 (courtesy of FB memories)
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Morning conversation w/ Eamon (after having problems w/ an electrical system in our house)

Eamon: *sigh* "I think we should just smash it."

Me: *choking back laughter* "No, honey, I think we'll fix it instead."

Eamon: "We should smash it. And I know where we can get a bunch of hammers."
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Worst Travel(writ)er Ever

Now that we are on Day Five (FIVE?!) of the trip, I guess it's time to update my travel blog.  Why I haven't done this sooner, I don't know.  Oh, perhaps it's because every time I've had my laptop out and a wifi connection, Eamon has been at my elbow asking, "Can I get on?  When can I get on?  So about those video games..."  Also, I think it took me a few days to recover from the trauma of The Toronto Incident, as it shall forever be known.

What, you ask, is The Toronto Incident?  Well, let's just say that in one of my most spectacular travel debacles ever (and there have been quite a few), I [subconsciously] decided that I quite enjoyed the international lounge at Toronto's airport, so much so that Eamon and I spent about 5 hours at the wrong gate in the wrong concourse and nearly missed our flight to London.  Actually, after the slowest, shortest, most non-effective airport shuttle ride ever, we were told that we had in fact missed the flight but after about 10 minutes of tears and ticket agents trying to reroute us, they told us that they might let us on after all, if we felt like running.  I guess the airport gods were sufficiently pleased with our grief and contrition - or the ticket agents just didn't want to bother trying to find us alternate flights.  Needless to say, my "seasoned traveler" image was a bit tarnished after that.  I will say that after running through the airport with a 14.7 pound backpack and a fully-laden purse, I feel like I might be ready for one of Mark's crazy races!

Marti & Eamon, BTTI (before The Toronto Incident)

Downward Facing Conversations

Things you don't expect to hear while doing yoga, even when it's with your 10 year old...

Eamon:  "Ow... my face."

Me:  "What the...?!"  <looks up to see that Eamon has taken downward-facing-dog to heart and has landed face down on his mat with his butt in the air>  "You still have 10 minutes left of mandatory yoga time so quit drooling on my mat and get back to it." 

Delayed Conversations

Yesterday while checking the calendar...

Eamon:  <excitedly>  "Today is May 23rd so my birthday is just TEN days away!"

Me:  "Funny you should mention that..."

Eamon:  "Why?"

Me:  "Because you were supposed to be born today eleven years ago."

Eamon:  "What?!"  

Me:  "Yeah, they estimated this as your due date but you hung on until June 2nd."

Eamon:  <horrified>  "Ten days?!"

Me:  "Yep."

Eamon:  "That is a LONG time..."

Me:  "Yes.  Yes, it is!  Don't you forget that!"

Eamon:  <looking especially traumatized b/c his class just had "the talk" from the school nurse on Friday> 

Beaned Boy Conversations

After a trip to the public library...

Eamon:  <voraciously reading a new book in the car>

Me:  "Wow, I haven't seen you this into a book in a while.  What's it about?"

Eamon:  <absently>  "Uh-huh..."

Me:  "And it's about...?"

Eamon:  <absently>  "A boy..."

Me:  "Okay..."

Later while talking to Mark about the book...

Me:  <excitedly>  "Wow, that must be some book he's reading!  <imagining my genius child reading the 5th grade equivalent of War & Peace>  He hasn't even put it down since he found it!"

Mark:  <nonchalantly>  "Yeah, it's some comic book about a kid whose superhero power is farting so much that he flies."

Me:  <dreams of early admittance to Harvard being dashed>  "WHAT!?"

Mark:  "Yeah, no wonder he loves it..."

Me:  "Eamon is your book really about a boy whose super power is GAS?!"

Eamon:  <scowling>  "No!"

Me:  "Well, what's it about?"

Eamon:  "It's about this boy and he eats beans and... he's the sidekick!"

Me:  "But he flies because of his flatulence!?"

Eamon:  <frowns and goes back to his book>

Oh, well, what could I have expected from a book called The Adventures of Beanboy?! 

Sweetened Conversations

Last week while I was suffering from a cold...

Me:  <coughing incessantly>

Eamon:  <concerned>  "Are you OK?"

Me:  "Oh, yeah, I'll be fine.  Thanks."

Eamon:  "I could make you tea."

Me:  <laughing a little at the thought of me, the caregiver, becoming the caregivee!>

Eamon:  "Well... do you want me to make you some tea or not?"

Me:  "Ok, sure.  Thanks, buddy."

Several minutes later, after only some of the boiling contents of the kettle ended up on the counter...

Eamon:  "Ok, the tea is steeping and I set the timer so we'll know when it's ready."

Me:  <pleasantly surprised>  "Wow, thanks!"

Eamon:  "But you have to get your own honey because I don't know how sweet you want it."

~Milked Conversations~

After an intense vacation planning marathon, during which time I really should have been doing homework...

Me:  <excitedly>  "Ok, Eamon, I think that does it!  I think I've got all the travel reservations made finally!"

Eamon:  "Really?"

Me:  "Yep, the last hostel's been booked, the bus ride, the car rental... I think we're good to go!"

Eamon:  "Cool!  I'm starting to get really excited now!"

Me:  "Yeah?  Awesome!  What part are you looking forward to most?"

Eamon:  <thinking>  "Ummm... the ice cream."

Me:  <coming down quickly from my travel-planning buzz>  "What?!  Not the castles, the ferry ride, the natural rock formations... Still, just the ice cream!?"

Eamon:  "Well, I've never had Irish ice cream before."

Me:  "You've never had Irish anything before."

Eamon:  "But still, I bet it will taste different."    

All I know is, for what we're paying to get to Ireland, to apparently do nothing but eat ice cream, that cow better milk itself, churn the ice cream, AND bring it out to us in a Waterford crystal dish!  ;)

~Fasted Conversations~

After eating a late breakfast yesterday morning...

Me:  "You need to get off the computer now and do some chores."

Eamon:  "Ok.  What time is it?"

Me:  "10:30."

Eamon:  <matter-of-factly> "Ok.  I'll eat lunch in 30 minutes."

Me:  "What?!  You JUST had breakfast 30 minutes ago!"

Eamon:  <plaintively>  "But I gotta' eat."

Me:  "Every hour?"

Eamon:  "Yeah."


We are going to be in so much trouble when this kid hits puberty full-on! ;) 

~Rivaled Conversations~

This conversation is actually from April 17, 2011.  Thanks for the memories, Facebook! ;) 

Today's Car Conversation w/ (5 yr old) Eamon:

Eamon: "I don't like 'dat 'da car in front of us likes Clemson. 'Cuz we like CVS."

Me: "You mean USC?"

Eamon: "Oh yeah."

CVS, USC, same difference, right?  

I mean, up until last year, Eamon thought that 

USC stood for United States of Columbia. ;) 

~Territorial Conversations~

One sunny afternoon in the backyard...

Eamon:  <giggling like he was up to something>

Me:  "Ok, what are you up to?"

Eamon:  <still giggling>  "I peed in the yard!"

Me:  <somewhat surprised but unsure why this was news>  "Ok, and ...?"

Eamon:  "I don't think Ziggy likes it when  I do that!  She goes to the exact same spot right and pees where I do!"

Me:  <watching as Ziggy does exactly that>  "Huh, that's interesting.  Well, we don't want to drive her crazy so don't..."

Eamon:  <giggling>  "I'm going to do it again!"

Let's just hope Mark doesn't get in on this too or else the poor dog really will lose it. ;) 

Poor traumatized Ziggy! ;) 

~Heeled Conversations~

Yesterday...

Me:  "Ohmigod, look at your shoes!"

Eamon: "What?  They're fine."

Me:  "No, they're not!  They look terrible!  I can't stand it anymore.  We're getting new ones while we're out."

Eamon:  <whining>  "Nooo!  I don't need new shoes!  Really, these are fine!"

Me:  "Eamon, you look like a rag-a-muffin and I look like an awful mother!  You're getting new shoes!"

Eamon:  <grumbling>  

Thirty minutes later in the shoe aisle...

Eamon:  <in ecstasy> "WHOA!!  Look at the red ones!  Oooh, and the black ones!  Can we get both pairs?  These are AWESOME!" 

Me:  "I thought you didn't want new shoes..."

Eamon:  <catching himself>  "Well, I mean these are ok, for new shoes.  But I didn't NEED them."

Just substitute any article of clothing with "shoes" in this conversation and it's one that we have over and over and over in this household.  Eamon never got to meet his Grandpa John but anyone who knew my dad knows that wearing-clothing-until-it-falls-off-in-shreds-or-new-garments-are-forced-upon-you is a trait that he definitely passed down to his grandson! ;)  

~Bedhead Conversations~

Yesterday morning...

Eamon: <staggering sleepily into the TV room>  "Mommy, did you come into my room in the middle of the night and flip me upside down?"

Me:  "Um, what?!"

Eamon:  <sleepily> "Well, I woke upside down and facing the wrong way in bed so I thought you or daddy had to have flipped me while I was asleep."

Me:  <suppressing giggles that he would think it was us rather than him tossing and turning in his sleep>  "Um, no... that wasn't me.  Why don't check with your dad though?"

After his dad comes into the TV room...

Eamon:  "Daddy, did you flip me upside down in bed last night?"

Mark:  <blank look>

Me:  <trying to keep a straight face>  "Yes, apparently Eamon woke up upside down in bed so he figured one of us must be to blame."

Mark:  <mischievously> "Well, now that you mention it, that does sound like something I would do." 

Eamon:  <still sleepy>  "I thought so." 

Just for the record, all bed-flipping was done solely by Eamon and his REM cycle!

~Measured Conversations~

While playing with my old folding measuring stick...

Eamon:  "Guess how tall I am?"

Me:  "Umm, I can't remember.  How tall?"

Eamon:  "Twenty-four!"

Me:  "Twenty-four what?"

Eamon:  "Inches."

Me:  "You are not twenty-four inches tall.  That's two feet.  Do you really think you're only two feet tall?"

Eamon:  "That's what it says.  You said this is the inches side."

Me:  "It would help if you weren't holding the measuring stick upside down."

Eamon:  "Ohhhhh..."

And this from my straight-A, honor roll, math/science whiz, future engineer!  :P