~Yogic Conversations~

While trying to get Eamon to do yoga with me...

Eamon:  "I'm just going to lay here and do Dead Pose(TM)."

Me:  "You mean Corpse Pose?  Because you need to lay on your back to do that."

Eamon:  "No, I mean Dead Pose(TM).  This is Dead Pose(TM)."

Me:  "So you're making up your own yoga poses now? 

Eamon:  "Uh-huh.  And this one is Falling Moon(TM)."  

[This was after I'd attempted to get him to try Half Moon Pose.]

Me:  "Nice.  You wanna' try Peeing Dog Pose(TM)?"

Eamon:  "There's a pose called Peeing Dog(TM)?!"

Me:  "Well, there's a Downward Facing Dog Pose and a Three-Legged Dog Pose so I guess having your leg bent while in Three-Legged Dog would be Peeing Dog(TM) Pose."

Eamon:  "Cool!  Like this?!"

Me:  "Looks good!"

Eamon:  "How about "Broken-Armed-Child's Pose(TM)!?!"

Me:  "Nice!"

Eamon:  "And now for Awkward-Airplane-Crash Pose(TM)!"

Me:  "Ok, but I really need to get back to my own yoga now..."

Is it any wonder that I have to leave the house and pay to get any real yoga done? ;)  

~Tomato-To-mah-to Conversations~

While in Food Lion today... 

Me:  "Eamon, which kind of pasta sauce should we get:  Tomato Basil or Olive Oil Garlic?"

Eamon:  "The second one.  I don't want any tomato in mine."

Me:  <moment of stunned silence>  "Dude.  You do realize that this whole jar of sauce is nothing but tomatoes, right?"

Eamon:  <look of horrified disappointment>

And now that Eamon is witnessing me type this, he wants our audience to know that he was only joking and knew the whole time that pasta sauce is made entirely from tomatoes. ;)

~Changing Conversations~

The following conversations, which were overheard in department store changing rooms, make me soo glad that Eamon's toddler days are over!  ;) 

The Mom:  "Please stop that.  No!  Let mommy finish trying these things on and then I PROMISE we will go kick the soccer ball.  Just a few more minutes..."  <sudden scuffling and loud noises>  

The Kid:  <thwarted but unhurt> "Stop that, mommy! That hurt!"

The Mom:  <exasperated> "Do you know why I had to pull you up?  BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS TO SEE A LITTLE BOY CRAWLING INTO THEIR DRESSING ROOM WHILE THEY'RE CHANGING CLOTHES!"

Several minutes later...

The Kid:  <in a sing-song voice> "Mommy...!  Look at me...! I'm wearing your shoes!  I am such a pretty little boy!"  

At another department store in another dressing room on the same day...

A little girl and her dad were [obviously] standing right outside the dressing room waiting for the mom when this one-sided conversation took place...

Little Girl:  "DADDY, I'M GOING TO STAY OUT HERE WITH YOU, OK?  BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SEE MOMMY NAKED!  IS MY VOICE LOUD?  MY VOICE SOUNDS LIKE LIQUID!"

Whatever that kid is on, she needs to share with the moms! ;) 

~Heated Conversations~

After picking up a bag of Lay's new potato chips...

Eamon:  "Can't we get something else?  I don't like those!"

Me:  "You don't know if you don't like them b/c you've never tried them.  Plus, if you don't like them, more for me, Dad, & Rowan."

later...

Eamon:  <hesitantly> "Ok, I'll try one...Hmm, not ba... AAAUUGH!  HOT! HOT!  NEED WATER!  WATERRRRRRR!"  <runs around the kitchen like he's on fire>

Me:  "Milk would be better."

Eamon:  <finally making it to the fridge and reaching for the milk, stops suddenly>  "Oh.  Actually, I don't need that anymore.  Hmm, once your mouth stops being on fire, they're actually pretty good."

Eamon's ringing endorsement: 

Once your mouth stops being on fire, they're actually pretty good. ;) 

UPDATE:  We all ended up enjoying these chips.  Some of us a little too much like when Mark decided to share them with his eyeballs.  Yes, you read that right.  Mark was so overwhelmed with the wonderful wasabi ginger flavor that he thought it would be a good idea to stick his fingers immediately from his mouth into his eyeballs, in the process of putting in his contacts.  Much shouting and cursing ensued.  And then the exact thing happened the next day too!  Several days later, the following conversation took place.

Mark:  "Hey, are there any of those chips left?  They're pretty good."

Me:  <feeling slightly guilty at having eaten the last few crumbs minutes before> "Umm, nooo..."

Mark:  "I thought I just saw the bag in the kitchen?"

Me:  "Well, there are none left now."

Mark:  <irritated> "I only got to have two chips."

Me:  "And you decided to shove them both in your eyes so you're not allowed to have those chips."

And who wins the Ultimate-Blame-Deflection Game (for this round anyway)?  ME!  ;) 

~Buggy Conversations~

After discovering a furry little visitor on our deck this morning...

Eamon:  "Mommy, can you come here a second?  Look at this!"

Me:  "Ooh, cool catepillar!  Uh-oh, looks like Ziggy wants to see what you found..."

Eamon:  <rushing to intercept our curious canine>  "No, Ziggy, NO!  Back!  BACK!  You can't come this way or you'll squish it.  STOP, IT'S A LIVING CREATURE!"

I was touched that my little man would be so adamant about saving this little guy from certain doggy doom so I picked up a stick to see if I could relocate him...

Eamon:  "Ooh, a stick!  Can I poke him with it after you?!"

Hmm, maybe he's not so concerned about this living creature after all...

Me:  <indignantly>  "I was not going to poke him with it!  I was going to use the stick to move him off the deck!"

Eamon:  "Oh.  Yeah, me too.  Can I move him with the stick after you?"

Me:  *sigh*  "Fine, you do it but be gentle with him!"

Eamon:  "I will!"

~Elephantine Conversations~

While discussing the distant galaxy that is on course to collide with ours - in 3 billion years...

Eamon:  <pensively>  "We need a giant force field...  When I grow up, I'm going to build one!  And I'm going to test it with an elephant."

Me:  "You're going to throw an elephant at your force field to see if it works?"

Eamon:  "No!  I mean, how would I even pick it up?"

Rowan:  "You're planning to build a giant force field but how to pick up and launch an elephant is what you're worried about!?"

Eamon:  <thoughtfully>  "Well, I could use cranes..."

Me:  "The real issue here is that you're willing to kill an elephant to test out your force field."

Eamon:  "What?!  No, he'll just bounce off the force field and be fine."

Me:  "An elephant flying through the air is not going to be in good shape when it hits the ground."

Eamon:  "Not if there are pillows and mattresses under him when he lands."

Whew!  Now I can rest easy knowing that PETA will not come after my little inventor! ;) 

T'eed Off Conversations

While discussing the T-shirt Eamon made at camp...

Mom:  "Did you ask Eamon about the shirt that he made?"

Me:  "A little but he didn't explain much.  What are those things he painted?"

Rowan:  "He just says they're 'science.'"

Me:  "Huh.... <to Eamon>  Hey, buddy, that is a cool shirt that you made!  What's on it?"

Eamon:  "Science."

Me:  "Well, yeah, I can see that it's science-y but what are those things?  Circuits or machinery or...?"

Eamon:  <deadpan>  "Sci-ence."

My little smarty pants! :P