Downward Facing Conversations

Things you don't expect to hear while doing yoga, even when it's with your 10 year old...

Eamon:  "Ow... my face."

Me:  "What the...?!"  <looks up to see that Eamon has taken downward-facing-dog to heart and has landed face down on his mat with his butt in the air>  "You still have 10 minutes left of mandatory yoga time so quit drooling on my mat and get back to it." 

Delayed Conversations

Yesterday while checking the calendar...

Eamon:  <excitedly>  "Today is May 23rd so my birthday is just TEN days away!"

Me:  "Funny you should mention that..."

Eamon:  "Why?"

Me:  "Because you were supposed to be born today eleven years ago."

Eamon:  "What?!"  

Me:  "Yeah, they estimated this as your due date but you hung on until June 2nd."

Eamon:  <horrified>  "Ten days?!"

Me:  "Yep."

Eamon:  "That is a LONG time..."

Me:  "Yes.  Yes, it is!  Don't you forget that!"

Eamon:  <looking especially traumatized b/c his class just had "the talk" from the school nurse on Friday> 

Beaned Boy Conversations

After a trip to the public library...

Eamon:  <voraciously reading a new book in the car>

Me:  "Wow, I haven't seen you this into a book in a while.  What's it about?"

Eamon:  <absently>  "Uh-huh..."

Me:  "And it's about...?"

Eamon:  <absently>  "A boy..."

Me:  "Okay..."

Later while talking to Mark about the book...

Me:  <excitedly>  "Wow, that must be some book he's reading!  <imagining my genius child reading the 5th grade equivalent of War & Peace>  He hasn't even put it down since he found it!"

Mark:  <nonchalantly>  "Yeah, it's some comic book about a kid whose superhero power is farting so much that he flies."

Me:  <dreams of early admittance to Harvard being dashed>  "WHAT!?"

Mark:  "Yeah, no wonder he loves it..."

Me:  "Eamon is your book really about a boy whose super power is GAS?!"

Eamon:  <scowling>  "No!"

Me:  "Well, what's it about?"

Eamon:  "It's about this boy and he eats beans and... he's the sidekick!"

Me:  "But he flies because of his flatulence!?"

Eamon:  <frowns and goes back to his book>

Oh, well, what could I have expected from a book called The Adventures of Beanboy?! 

Sweetened Conversations

Last week while I was suffering from a cold...

Me:  <coughing incessantly>

Eamon:  <concerned>  "Are you OK?"

Me:  "Oh, yeah, I'll be fine.  Thanks."

Eamon:  "I could make you tea."

Me:  <laughing a little at the thought of me, the caregiver, becoming the caregivee!>

Eamon:  "Well... do you want me to make you some tea or not?"

Me:  "Ok, sure.  Thanks, buddy."

Several minutes later, after only some of the boiling contents of the kettle ended up on the counter...

Eamon:  "Ok, the tea is steeping and I set the timer so we'll know when it's ready."

Me:  <pleasantly surprised>  "Wow, thanks!"

Eamon:  "But you have to get your own honey because I don't know how sweet you want it."